Christian Weddings
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Counseling

We started our first session today with the pastor - today was a get to know you day, talking about "red flags" to consider before getting married, and we got the book "God and Sex."  The pastor also did the initial "interview" with both of us.  FI had a rocky growing up time due to family issues and I actually learned something new about him today that I didn't know, and it prompted us to talk further this afternoon.  I know that the next couple of sessions are going to be interesting, and hopefully help us to get to know each other EVEN better!  

Next session we are starting on Communication - I don't know which aspect the pastor will focus on first, but it could be anything from financial, relational, emotional, how to live together (and not kill each other!), etc... 

I know Ashnoel said that she started her counseling a couple of weeks ago... is anyone else hitting this milestone yet?  
What kinds of things did you learn about each other and your relationship?  
Marrieds, did it make you stronger, and how?  
July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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Re: Counseling

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    edited December 2011
    I had 3 sessions with our pastor - back from September to November. :) we had the same feeling - getting to know each other even better than we already do. Our pastor used PREPARE-ENRICH, and it had a similar outline to what you are going through. We didn't learn too much more about each other because there is a lot that we already knew about each other however we felt that out bond was intensified because it reminded us that we have the same values & beliefs.
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    katanne9katanne9 member
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    edited December 2011
    We loved our counseling sessions. It definitely was good to discuss things again, and to also get the input of older, wiser, experienced Christians. (We had a married couple do ours).

    We actually had our counselors over for dinner last weekend! We <3 them!
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    edited December 2011
    Glad you enjoyed it! We liked it a lot too! We only have 2 more. Can't wait! 
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    iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it was probably different for us than if we had gotten married younger, but we did learn a few things.  We did this exercise where we each separately ranked statements like "It is important to me that we worship together", "It is important to me that we serve together", etc.  We were very close in how we each answered and it was really comforting to me that we were because I feel that my faith is the most important aspect of my life and I want to be in sync with him with respect to how we live out our faith.  

    It also helped give us more communication tools.  Like katanne, we also continue to have a relationship with the couple who did our marriage prep with us.  We love them too.
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    edited December 2011
    oh!!! i am very very excited for our pre-marital counseling. we are a few months away (since FI doesnt even come home in over a month. lol) but i seriously cant wait for it! (:
     i think it will be very very good for us and our relationship and marriage. (:
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    edited December 2011
    We will hopefully start this saturday. The person who is doing ours does eight sessions which are an hour a piece but we will be doing the counseling with him and his wife. I'm excited to get started and to see what we find out about eachother :)
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    edited December 2011
    we started our counselling over the weekend with a pre-marital/marriage enrichment group.  it consisted of 2 married couples and 3 engaged couples.  it was a lot of fun and I liked having a joint session with married couples as well.  we read/are still reading Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Sheet Music, and Love and Respect.
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    earnshaw1000earnshaw1000 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We started our pre-marriage counselling last week with the pastor marrying us.  It wasn't anything like what I expected.  We're doing the Enrich program, where you write a "compatibility" test and then the sessions focus on the areas where we score the lowest.  It was interesting to find out which areas we are "weakest" in and our pastor focused on how to use those areas to help instead of hinder each other.

    All in all, it was very interesting and led to some great discussion between FI and I afterwards. 
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    edited December 2011
    I can't wait to do ours!  The officiant (our youth/college pastor) who is marrying us is himself not married, however, so we are going to be doing our counseling with the associate pastor of our church.  FI and I don't know him very well, so it will be an interesting journey, but I can't wait to get to know my FI and the pastor better!
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    edited December 2011
    DH and I loved pre-marital counseling, also!

    We used Preparing for Marriage by Dennis Rainey.  The book was set up so that DH and I would do a section individually, then meet to talk about our responses, then meet with the couple advising us before moving on to the next section.  The pace was just right, with us meeting altogether once every two weeks, and we covered a lot of ground really thoroughly.

    It makes me sad when I hear non-Christian friends express a desire for pre-marital counseling, but I don't know of any good resources to recommend them and without a church body I wonder who plays this important role in their lives?
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