Need Ideas

jkh1182

So, here's the deal.  We may be having two weddings, because most of his family lives here by us in Illinois and most of my family lives in Florida.  My sister has four kids and they are on a very limited budget so traveling to IL may be out of the question for them, so I'm desperately in need of some ideas for the possible wedding in Florida.  My wedding up here would be moved up to December 31, 2011 (Chrismas theme, red, white, and gold) and my wedding down there would probably be sometime from March-May...possibly St. Patty's Day 2012???  Here are specifics:

1.  Possibly St. Patty's Day
2. Clearwater Florida
3. Possibly on the Beach

Does anybody have any ideas for themes or color schemes?  This would probably be something very informal because we will be having our formal wedding here in IL.  Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

DramaGeek

This may not be a popular opinion, but I don't think you can do two weddings without looking...presumptious?  High-falutin?  I'm not sure of the word, but I think having two weddings will come across really wrong.  Get married in one place or the other (or have a destination wedding) and then have a reception in the other place.

joyfulbride424

I would avoid St. Patty's day. You could get people caught in traffic or just run into issues with drunk drivers, other parties, lack of caterers, etc etc. I think a beach wedding would be sooooo pretty casual like you want it! What colors do you like? Do you like eclectic colors? ie baby blue/fuschia or orange/turquoise... or do you like muted colors? sandy champagne/pink etc. I think having a beach wedding opens you up to a lot of possibilities

joyfulbride424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:7e7f4d17-a161-4b0f-9260-60ab6c22f0e7">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]This may not be a popular opinion, but I don't think you can do two weddings without looking...presumptious?  High-falutin?  I'm not sure of the word, but I think having two weddings will come across really wrong.  Get married in one place or the other (or have a destination wedding) and then have a reception in the other place.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I agree but she said the second would be casual and small - so I think it's different, in my opinion!

jkh1182

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:7e7f4d17-a161-4b0f-9260-60ab6c22f0e7">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]This may not be a popular opinion, but I don't think you can do two weddings without looking...presumptious?  High-falutin?  I'm not sure of the word, but I think having two weddings will come across really wrong.  Get married in one place or the other (or have a destination wedding) and then have a reception in the other place.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I can understand what you are saying, but this was actually my mom's suggestion, since my family in Florida is very strapped for cash.  The second would not be like a full wedding.  It would just be something very informal on the beach (at my brother's house on the gulf) and then a barbeque in the backyard.  We really do not have the money to do two full weddings.  In fact, we are only having a cake and punch reception for our wedding here in IL.  My mom has a condo down there that she said we could use for our honeymoon, so we had planned on going down there anyways after the wedding, so the exchange of vows would just be so my family down there could also participate in my wedding.  I didn't mean to sound like I was showing off or anything like that. 

jkh1182

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:b56d2ca7-ec6f-47e2-a99e-155890256687">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]I would avoid St. Patty's day. You could get people caught in traffic or just run into issues with drunk drivers, other parties, lack of caterers, etc etc. I think a beach wedding would be sooooo pretty casual like you want it! What colors do you like? Do you like eclectic colors? ie baby blue/fuschia or orange/turquoise... or do you like muted colors? sandy champagne/pink etc. I think having a beach wedding opens you up to a lot of possibilities :)
Posted by joyfulbride424[/QUOTE]

I didn't even think about the drunks.  My fiance's family is Irish, so I thought it would be kind of cool to do it on St. Patty's day, but maybe not.  As far as colors go...I was thinking something bright or tropical.  My wedding here would be red, gold, and white, but I do like bright colors.  Baby blue and fuscia is an interesting combination I'd never thought of.  Any ideas of colors that would go with Gold? Canary Yellow Maybe?

bourgehm

A marriage isn't started by the 'wedding'. It's started by the vows. You said the vows in the first place, therefore that is YOUR wedding. The second is not another wedding. Calling it a wedding just seems weird. Why would you want to say your vows twice anyways? I'd just do a reception at the second one.

Ps: don't bring this to the E board. They'll get all over you.

Here's a better idea: Get married at the first one and have a reception. Have a reception only at the second one. Maybe during the rcepetion have a video of you guys having your ceremony play. That way they can still see the wedding.

fpaemp2011

I don't really have a problem with you having 2 ceremonies...those at the 2nd ceremony will already know you're married, and it will be significantly smaller, so I'm not clutching my pearls over it.

One suggestion though--FI has a lot of family members who live too far away, and even some friends from home who won't be able to travel that weekend, so we're planning on using www.ustream.com to stream the ceremony live for those who can't make it.  We haven't tested it with the sound system at the church, but our videographers have experience with it and are setting it up.  Just a thought if they can't make it but have a good (i.e.- not dial-up or satellite) internet connection.

~Emily

joyfulbride424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:ab102bd8-a124-4f4d-a0cf-51ee22e2c217">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Ideas : I didn't even think about the drunks.  My fiance's family is Irish, so I thought it would be kind of cool to do it on St. Patty's day, but maybe not.  As far as colors go...I was thinking something bright or tropical.  My wedding here would be red, gold, and white, but I do like bright colors.  Baby blue and fuscia is an interesting combination I'd never thought of.  Any ideas of colors that would go with Gold? Canary Yellow Maybe?
Posted by jkh1182[/QUOTE]

You could do gold & pink - or even canary and pink. Canary yellow and mint green is pretty as well!

jkh1182

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:4dfd8667-35dd-4ab5-b259-239aea3f9edc">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really have a problem with you having 2 ceremonies...those at the 2nd ceremony will already know you're married, and it will be significantly smaller, so I'm not clutching my pearls over it. One suggestion though--FI has a lot of family members who live too far away, and even some friends from home who won't be able to travel that weekend, so we're planning on using <a href="http://www.ustream.com" rel='nofollow'>www.ustream.com</a> to stream the ceremony live for those who can't make it.  We haven't tested it with the sound system at the church, but our videographers have experience with it and are setting it up.  Just a thought if they can't make it but have a good (i.e.- not dial-up or satellite) internet connection. ~Emily
Posted by fpaemp2011[/QUOTE]

I like the idea of trying that so they can see the video of my reception.  I am frustrated, because I really want all of my family there.  I feel like I'm being slighted.  We are all from IL.  They moved down there on their own.  Nothing is set in stone yet.

jkh1182

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:13bafb9c-b2e4-43f7-b422-7260c8eb517e">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]A marriage isn't started by the 'wedding'. It's started by the vows. You said the vows in the first place, therefore that is YOUR wedding. The second is not another wedding. Calling it a wedding just seems weird. Why would you want to say your vows twice anyways? I'd just do a reception at the second one. Ps: don't bring this to the E board. They'll get all over you. Here's a better idea: Get married at the first one and have a reception. Have a reception only at the second one. Maybe during the rcepetion have a video of you guys having your ceremony play. That way they can still see the wedding.
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]

Too late...people have been jumping on me.  Saying things like why don't you just fly your sister's family up there.  I'm thinking, uh hello, 6 people's airfare.  Can't afford that.  Not to mention a party at my brother's house would probably be paid for by my brother, so the only thing we would have to pay for is just our airfare down there which we had planned on going down there anyways for a honeymoon.

kellya01

Sorry about how you got jumped on in the other post about this. :-(  I understand your dilemma, because we have family friends from my FI's side who are medically unable to travel out of town from where they live, or just simply won't be able to come.  So, we're having a shower / engagement party where they all live so that the ones who can't come to the wedding can still be part of the celebration.  We're not going so far as to have a second ceremony or anything, and we have decided that if people really want to be part of the wedding as a guest, they'll find a way to make the trip.  That's what works for us, but those people aren't blood relations.  

I'm not exactly sure how you could do the second celebration down there except to maybe video-stream the ceremony as it happens, perhaps via a skype type of system or the one Emily mentioned.  Maybe you could still have a second reception down at your sister's place when you head down there for your HM.  I'm sure they would appreciate the gesture of you guys stopping in to have a small celebratory party with them, and maybe you could wait until you have the wedding video to bring with you, even if it's just the candid one that hasn't been edited yet.  

Hope that helps! 

DramaGeek

I don't see a problem with you having a celebration with your OOT family if they can't make it to the wedding and you can get there afterward.  I just feel like choosing colors, themes, etc. is going too far.  Have a fun bbq to celebrate married life with your family, but don't worry about colors.  Put some tablecloths out, pick some pretty flowers, light some tiki torches, and have a blast, but keep it simple like you would a dinner party you host at your home, kwim?

joyfulbride424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:72c29b46-03af-4f42-9016-ea1ebb436211Post:5c5e415e-3bdb-44ad-a212-cb80873710dd">Re: Need Ideas</a>:
[QUOTE] Have a fun bbq to celebrate married life with your family, but don't worry about colors.  Put some tablecloths out, pick some pretty flowers, light some tiki torches, and have a blast, but keep it simple like you would a dinner party you host at your home, kwim?
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

This is cute too! Totally do-able.

jkh1182

Well, you've given me an idea of a luau (sp.) reception.  I talked with my fiance when I was posting this and you know.  This is the second time I have been told by my family to change my wedding date.  I kind of feel like others are trying to tell me what to do with my own wedding.  I think we have decided that we will move up the wedding to December 31, 2011 and we will do it our way.  I guess I kind of feel like they are the ones who moved away from home, so it should be their responsibility to make it hear if I am that important to them.  I'm still not opposed to the reception being down there.  Maybe I'll bounce the luau idea off my family and see what they think.  Thanks for not jumping me.

DramaGeek

I'd be frustrated if my family was trying to dictate my wedding day, too.  I don't blame you for feeling sensitive about it.  I think it's important to run potential dates by important guests to be sure they can make it, but once that's done and it's set I don't think you should feel obligated to change it.

I think a luau sounds like a blast and having been through the big wedding/reception, I think you'll appreciate having a more low key, laid back second reception.

jkh1182

I talked to my sister today.  I think I'm going to set the date for December 31, 2011 and whoever shows up shows up and we can have a second reception in Florida in March.  I don't feel like trying to mess with two diifferent weddings.  One is stressful enough. lol.  Thanks for all of your ideas.

BrideToBeBecauseHeLovesMe

I'm a little late to the party lol but this is my two cents worth:

FI and I live in KS, but his family lives in AR and we'll be moving to AR.  So we're having the bridal shower up here, the wedding down there, and a second reception up here.    I figure we'll use the stuff from the wedding reception in AR back up here, or just get some cheap decorations and things.

I think if you do the wedding up there, and then have a dinner-y reception thing down there, it'll be just fine.  You love the people who can't make it just the same - even though you'd love for them to be there.  I love the idea of a beachy theme though - whatever you do!!