This will likely get long and whiny, so be warned.
Things with H's family are all kinds of screwy. I posted a couple of months ago about how his mom and sister succumbed to mental illness and did all kinds of bizarre things. This isn't about that, but about how his family is handling things.
We appear to be lepers to his family. We found out that his mom and sister were arrested and in the hospital because H's coworker saw it on our newspaper's website and called him. We found out that his mom was released because we happened to run into his parents in the parking lot of the hospital. We found out that his mom was off her meds and in a manic phase because the police called me (long story). We should have found all of these things out FROM HIS DAD! OR, at the very least, from his other sister.
Nephew (SIL's son) is not allowed to be around MIL or SIL because he was with them when they went crazy. We have a 3 bedroom house, no kids, stable income, and the ability to care for him. Instead of asking if Nephew could stay with us, FIL sent him to live with other SIL and her husband. They have two kids of their own, a 3rd on the way, barely make enough money to support their own two kids, and live in a 2 bedroom, 800 sq ft house. No one even asked if we'd be willing to take him in. In fact, no one told us he was moving in with SIL and BIL.
The only time anyone calls us is when they need something. For instance, FIL called today to ask H if he could take his mom to the jail for an appointment at 7 am. They know H works nights. They know he doesn't get home until 1. And maybe I'd be a little less irritated and upset if we were actually treated like family, but no. When they need something, they call. Otherwise, we're not on the radar, at all.
And lest you think it's a distance thing, we live .8 miles from them. Yup, .8, as in less than a mile.
Today FIL made a comment about how it's crappy that he had to hear from his son's friend that his wife has a warrant out for her arrest instead of hearing it straight from the DA (H has a friend who works for the DA and let us know). H just sat there with this look on his face like "no sh!t, Sherlock." And yet his dad still doesn't get how crappy it was for us to find all these other things out from other people.
Ok, there. I feel better.