So, I normally don't like to publicize prayer requests, but I think I need some strength in numbers here. It's a bit long, so if you don't feel like reading, that's a-ok. I'll post cliff notes in a reply to summarize.
Some backstory from earlier this summer: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-not-invited-to-a-friends-wedding-wwyd
Cliff notes of the link: "Got engaged in November. Formerly close friend (had a falling out earlier this year) got engaged the following March and immediately informed me that my fiance would not be invited due to budget, etc. Received message today (quoted above) reiterating this, also saying that if there's room and "there should be", fiance can come. Wedding is October 20th of this year. Want to know how y'all would reply to Facebook message and how you would handle the RSVP."
I ended up not responding to her message (couldn't think of anything nice to say, so I said nothing at all) and just waited for her to let me know if there would be room for my fiance. Fast foward to this month. Her RSVP date was 9/1 (for a wedding on 10/20
). At that point, she had never told me if space would be available. I did not want to RSVP without knowing if he could go. So then Thursday night I get another FB message, asking me about my RSVP and finally telling me that there would in fact be room for my fiance. At that point in time, we had not spoken more than short FB status comment exchanges since her last FB message. I responded to her message almost immediately, telling her why I hadn't responded yet and that I would let her know as soon as I could.
About 24 hours later, I get a FB message from her mom saying almost the exact same thing she had said. I was a bit confused, but I responded to her the same thing I had responded to my friend. She came back with the standard "we need our numbers in by 9/14" (which I still find weird for a wedding on 10/20, but whatever). I said then just put me down for a no because I didn't want to say yes and then not be able to go.
Less than 20 minutes after I sent that last message to her mom, I got this lovely message from her: "It would have been nice if you had actually responded to me... and not have me make my mother try to contact you (who you responded to almost immediately).
" Now, as I said, I had responded to her. As you can imagine, I was quite taken aback. I tried to send her a message back, saying that I had sent a message, but it wouldn't go through. I then borrowed a friend's computer, thinking my phone was the problem. Lo and behold, not only had she defriended me after sending that message, she blocked me too! She also defriended my fiance and the rest of my family that she was friends with on FB.
I don't think I've ever been more upset in my life. Once the anger went away, I was extremely hurt. I sent her a politely worded text message telling her that I had responded and that defriending me was uncalled for. I also sent a screen cap from my phone of my message list on FB showing that I had indeed sent a message, in case she chose not to believe me. I have yet to hear back from her, and I don't think I ever will. And I think that's what hurts the most. I had no say seemingly in the ending of this friendship. I had been giving her space and time to cool down from our earlier falling out, with the hope of working on the friendship when things died down. She apparently had other plans.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for listening. It was nice to get it all out, and kinda process my feelings while typing. I'm hoping that this is a wound that time can heal, but any positive thoughts and prayers you could send my way would be greatly appreciated. It's never easy to see a long term friendship end, but sudden ends are even harder.