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Christian Weddings

Hello I'm new... and this is gonna sound bad.

But I live in the UK, so I used my summer camp address to sign up - I needed to find a Christian wedding forum (I can't deal with regular ones anymore, they just don't get it) and the only ones are American so I joined anyway... Hope that's okay.
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Re: Hello I'm new... and this is gonna sound bad.

  • This forum is definitely not limited to America. Welcome to the group! The girls here are super nice and thoughtful. When is your wedding? Congrats!
  • August 25th :D and yeah well, when I signed up I could only choose American places soo.... Yeah!

    I know, I've been wanting to join for a while - Nobody understands me on the regular forums. :(
    Anniversary
  • Welcome!! I will add you to the upcoming wedding list. Looking forward to getting to know you over the next couple of months
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    <span style="color: #382110">my read shelf:</span>
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  • In what ways do they not understand you, if I may ask? This board provides much support for things which are no longer done e.g. waiting for marriage or natural family planning. Everyone here has different opinions, but people are helpful and supportive.
  • peachykeen26peachykeen26 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_hello-im-new-and-this-is-gonna-sound-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:f0e984a7-3ec3-4fdd-8406-2e5ef0edc3b0Post:c1b5412f-9bae-4a8f-bbf2-090ec5e85b3a">Re:Hello I'm new... and this is gonna sound bad.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In what ways do they not understand you, if I may ask? This board provides much support for things which are no longer done e.g. waiting for marriage or natural family planning. Everyone here has different opinions, but people are helpful and supportive.
    Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]


    Agreed.
    In what ways do people not understand you? That's just breaks my heart.

    But, welcome, welcome!
    Do tell us about yourself, dear. :)

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  • I have to almost chuckle at the lehigh valley area/poconos cause it's about an hour away from me..[even though u dont live there ]

    I know what you mean about the other boards... They can be super rude about just about anything ... I actually changed my name on here at least once and swore I wouldnt come back on until I found this board.
    Love is All You Need
  • Oh yeah, it's because a) I'm 21, which in their opinion - my marriage IS going to break up cos we're not old enough and haven't had enough life experience and BLAH BLAH BLAH.... and b) I'm waiting till marriage to have sex, which is like OH MY GOSH HOW CAN YOU DO THAT... and if I hear one more person bang on about 'growing apart' or 'not being sexually compatible' I'm going to scream.

    & tehe, yeah - I just kinda put that down cos thats the address of the summer camp I worked at.
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  • jenningz, while statistically being 21 means the odds are against you, I will tell you that H turned 22 six weeks before we got married and I turned 22 three weeks after.  We will celebrate our ten year anniversary in December.  Oh, and we waited for marriage too - no regrets there whatsoever.  So I think you'll be safe on that front as far as people lecturing you ;-)
  • I can't speak on the being young part. I was 26 when I got married, and in some ways I understand the criticisms. Our lives are still not entirely settled, and my husband and I are probably going to have to do long distance because he is struggling to get a job and he just graduated from Harvard Business School! This economy is horrible. He definitely evolved in terms of what he wanted out of a career over the past year of marriage, and though it poses challenges, it is nothing we can't handle through love, dedication, compromise, and selflessness. As for waiting for marriage, I won't lie. There can be surprises when you get married after waiting, and it can initally make things very rocky. But if you can't survive those problems, you can't survive the other challenges that will come your way. No one will be perfectly compatible. Marriage is not easy for anybody. That is why faith is so important to marriage. In short, you can be young and mature. Older people can lack the patience and maturity needed to confront problems. It all depends on who you are. My two cents.
  • edited May 2012
    Yeah... All the women in my family were married young, I'm not stupid - I know what I'm doing... it's just so frustrating that I'm somehow doing something wrong because I haven't popped out 398430943 kids, I'm not living with my fiancé and we haven't slept together.... It's just like, really?!

    Oh and I figured out how to change my location to the UK. :)
    Anniversary
  • Ugh, sorry for the long paragraph. I am writing from my iPhone on a train and the paragraph breaks don't show up.
  • Haha, that's fine - I read quickly :) Yeah, but that's the thing - I'm not going into it with some fairytale view that the sex is going to be amazing and everythings going to be like the movies. I am fully aware of the challenges most couples face in marriage, difference is we have God at the centre, and through him all things are possible - people these days just give up too easily, if they're not being satisfied in all ways, they walk out and move onto the next person who will probably, only satisfy them for a few months, and so the cycle continues. I'm just fed up with everyone thinking I'm not savvy - I'm not naive, there's going to be trials and tribulations, in all aspects of marriage. It's knowing they'll happen and deciding whether you want to fight or fall really.


    Sorry, rant.
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  • It is totally okay to rant. I think all of us have ranted on this board at some point. Sadly, people have all sorts of opinions about these things, and it is rude for them to tell you how to live your life, especially if they don't know you well. People do give up too easily. I think everyone intellectually knows that marriage is hard but they don't know how hard it is in reality once you are living it. I would just try and avoid those people. :
  • Hi and welcome!  I think I like you already, haha.  We definitely don't judge the way some of the other boards do.  I was 23 and DH had just turned 23 when we got married 6 months ago, so I definitely understand the age thing.  I look forward to hearing more about you and your wedding plans!  :D
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  • Awh, thanks! Yup - sometimes they're going on about having life experience and I was like.... yeah, okay - shame you turn and run when life bites you in the butt.
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  • Welcome to the board :) I have heard a lot of the smack talk about the fact we're waiting to be together too. We didn't totally wait before meeting each other, but since we got together we've decided to wait until marriage. We also came to Christ together after finding each other :)
  • My fiance gave his life to christ in september last year (he wasn't a christian when we met but never wanted to do anything as I never wanted to) so we're waiting. He didn't wait before he met me. But as he says 'he's a new man in christ' so in that sense, I'm his first :)
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  • I have to say, I am 20 and am getting married in 27 days.
    I wouldn't have it any other way. We weren't initially waiting until marriage but then had a change of heart and decided to stop having sex.
    While there are challenges in being sexually compatible, there are challenges in being emotionally compatible too. Sex is just a small aspect of a long, faithful marriage.
    As long as you have faith and plans, you will make it.

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  • That's great that you're waiting now :)
    Yeah, there's always going to be challenges within relationships, it just depends whether you feel it's worth fighting for.
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  • Welcome!!

    I'm 21 and FI is 23-- we are getting married this December. We've been together 7 years (known each other 10), we are financially stable, and we are both done with school. Honestly, don't worry about your age or the naysayers. If it feels right and you two think you can handle what comes with marriage (bills mostly, lol), then go for it!

    imageUntitled my read shelf:
    Faith (FaithCaitlin)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • tell us some details about your wedding! there is a newbie/introduction thread if you want to post there as well
    <img src="http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj123/sprtychick10/sabrearch5.jpg" width="200px" />


    <span style="color: #382110">my read shelf:</span>
    <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/6922246?shelf=read" title="Ashley's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)"><img border="0" alt="Ashley's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)" src="http://www.goodreads.com/images/badge/badge1.jpg"></a>



    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Recipes"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt148762.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0" /></a>

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  • naomikbnaomikb member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Hi and welcome!

    I can't believe that so many of you have gotten flack for waiting until marriage... it appalls me that people would say that to you, even if it's not the choice they made.  How rude.

  • Welcome! I was married back in August, almost two months before I turned 19, so I know what you mean about the "your married is gonna end!!!1!" comments. :) We were virgins when we got married and don't regret that choice either. Glad to have you here. :)
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  • Yay for waiting! It's funny b/c there is a flip side to the whole "young" thing. FI is 34 and I'm 30 and most people think we should have already been married with a kid by now. There's just no way to please people, so I don't even try. If anybody says anything, I turn the attention to God and say, "This is the way God planned it and we're following His plan, so if you have a problem with it, take it up with Him" lol.

    Also, FI and I have waited for sex too. We're getting married next weekend (eeeeee!). It is only by the grace of God that we have managed to wait for each other. Sometimes, we get weird looks and comments from people b/c we have been waiting so long and are still virgins. People think there is something wrong with us b/c of our age. Oh well, they can think what they want. I've got plenty of friends and family who back us up on our decision.

    Keep going with your plans, OP, and keep God at the center! Everything will turn out fine. Be prepared for some people to always find something to complain about and tell you you're wrong, but stand your ground and follow the Lord's will!

  • MrsB, it's funny that you mentioned the "flip side."  I remember discussing with H (before we were engaged even) that if we got engaged then people would say we were too young, but if we waited until an "acceptable" age (23-25, we figured at the time) people would want to know why it took us so long to get engaged, as we'd have been together 4-6 years at that point.  You just can't please people!
  • [QUOTE]Welcome! I was married back in August, almost two months before I turned 19, so I know what you mean about the "your married is gonna end!!!1!" comments. :) We were virgins when we got married and don't regret that choice either. Glad to have you here. :)
    Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    wow, that's so cool :')
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_hello-im-new-and-this-is-gonna-sound-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:f0e984a7-3ec3-4fdd-8406-2e5ef0edc3b0Post:c0f4cd8a-b032-4c64-ae49-c674f1bb96a6">Re: Hello I'm new... and this is gonna sound bad.</a>:
    [QUOTE]MrsB, it's funny that you mentioned the "flip side."  I remember discussing with H (before we were engaged even) that if we got engaged then people would say we were too young, but if we waited until an "acceptable" age (23-25, we figured at the time) people would want to know why it took us so long to get engaged, as we'd have been together 4-6 years at that point.  <strong>You just can't please people</strong>!
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    So true
  • You girls are all so lovely.... :)
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  • [QUOTE] I'm not going into it with some fairytale view that the sex is going to be amazing and everythings going to be like the movies. I am fully aware of the challenges most couples face in marriage, difference is we have God at the centre, and through him all things are possible - people these days just give up too easily, if they're not being satisfied in all ways, they walk out and move onto the next person who will probably, only satisfy them for a few months, and so the cycle continues. I'm just fed up with everyone thinking I'm not savvy - I'm not naive, there's going to be trials and tribulations, in all aspects of marriage. It's knowing they'll happen and deciding whether you want to fight or fall really. 
    Posted by jenningz[/QUOTE]

    <div>Then you're doing the right thing. I understand your frustration. I'm 23 and my bf is 20, and as we plan for marriage in the future, people are constantly telling me he's too young, too immature, too whatever. Someone close to me even accused me of still being in the honeymoon phase of our relationship (we've been together for 1.5 years so far), when in fact, I am not. My bf and I have been through major major trials together, and it's through that work on our relationship that true love has broken through. It's hard to convince people that we are not naive and we understand the true committment relationships take, recognizing that they are indeed hard, but very rewarding. </div>
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