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Hello I'm new... and this is gonna sound bad.


Re: Hello I'm new... and this is gonna sound bad.

  • Welcome! I don't think 21 is too young, but in my part of the US, it's also not rare at all. I don't understand these urban area women who think marrying in your twenties at all is crazy. But I read in an article once that actually statistically if you're 20 and over your statistical chances are actually about the same (and I think they drop if you're over the age of 36 or something for a first marriage, because by then people who have been single that long have trouble adjusting to not being independent anymore). It's just teen marriages that have the horrible statistics.

    And even if that's not entirely true (though it seemed sound) I know 21 is when a lot of your brain stops growing (that's why in the US drinking is restricted to 21 or over, to protect growing brains from cell damage) which also means that around then is when you're really able to predict the consequences of your actions in a way teenagers just can't yet. So in other words, you're old enough. I won't lie, you're still growing up, and your brain isn't entirely grown (it stops at about 25) but it's pretty much done. I am 26 and I know I've changed loads in the past 5 years, but I still think I probably changed in less dramatic ways from 21 to 26 than I did from 19 to 21!

    Okay, I know I'm writing a book, but as for waiting, great! Good for you! :) Don't let anyone get you down. Ryan and I are waiting too (though in our youth we both slipped up with other people, him entirely and me partially). I had a good friend tell me "What if he's awful?"

    I said, "We'll work on it."

    And she was like still, she couldn't imagine not knowing if her husband was good or not before hand.. and I said, okay, but if you were already in love with him, and you slept with him before marriage and he was awful... would you break up with him?

    And she admitted no, reluctantly.

    So I told her then it doesn't really matter. If he's great (and I think he will be) or if not, we'll just work at.. a lot. :) But it doesn't change our love or commitment.

    By the way, I'm moving to India (I'm engaged to an Indian man) so while I'm not there yet, I'm somewhat international as well.
    My blog
    "I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, My soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." -Isaiah 61:10 NKJV
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