Washington-Seattle
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Rant

So I just talked to my mom and she asked who was going to walk me down the aisle. My dad passed away 3 and a half years ago. I told her I was thinking about having my 2 brothers do it and she was like "oh, well I figured you would ask grandpa. He would be really honored to do it." I said I thought it would be cool if my brothers did it even though they are in the wedding. She was like "how are they going to walk you down when they should be standing their 'post'?" I told her that they wouldn't be standing up there already and they could walk me down and then go stand by FI. She still was pressuring me to think about it (aka change my mind and do what she wanted me to do). I love my grandpa but I was thinking about asking him to do a grandfather-granddaughter dance with me.

I'm not opposed to him doing it. This is just hard. I don't want to hav eto choose. I just want my dad here. It sucks that my mom and my relationship has changed so much since she started dating that I wouldn't consider her to do it.  My mom and I often but heads no days and she always demands that I stop stressing about the wedding. I just tell her things like the BM dresses are all to big and I feel bad that they all have to pay more $ to alter them. Then she lectures me about how it's not my problem. I understand I just wish this wasn't the case. I'm 25 years old and she won't stop telling me what to do! And she doesn't support me in any way and hasn't since my dad passed. This is so frusterating to talk to her.

We are moving in a week and a half and she wants to know when we will be there so she can be there when the moving truck pulls up. Who said this is what I want? She is so sensative, that if I give her any hint that I want a little space, she will be mad and me and more drama will be created.

Oh, what to do?
Thanks for listening. Sorry so long. It's just sad and frusterating:(

Re: Rant

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    edited December 2011
    I think it's a wonderful idea to have your brothers walk you (I know that's what I'd do, if my dad weren't around)!  And the fact that you want to have a grandfather/granddaughter dance is the perfect solution, I think.  I know it's hard, but remember: it's your wedding.  Have it the way YOU want it.  Especially since you are including everyone!
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry! That is really frustrating!

    It seems like although your mom is being a little pushy, it seems like she really wants to be involved.

    I can't imagine having to figure out who else could walk you down the aisle. I'm so sorry for your dad passing. He will be walking you down still, just not physically. I think you should pick who you want to walk you down. Brothers it is. :)

    Honestly, your wedding is almost here and I wouldn't want to start a fight before hand. Just let her be involved, if she starts stepping on your toes too much, tell her that you feel like she is overstepping.

    I'm sorry honey! Hugs!
    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls! You are sweet! I'm sure we will figure something out :) Yes, my dad will be looking down smiling. I am sure of that:) He was able to give FI his permission before he left us. That means the world to me!
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry! I think it makes the wedding stress harder when mom's push.
    I like that you picked your brothers to walk you down the aisle. Stick to your guns girl! It'll get better!
    Married 7/17/2010 Photobucket PersonalMilestone
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    edited December 2011
    What if your grandpa walked you 1/2 way, gave you a kiss on the cheek, then your brothers walked up from their "post" next to FI took each arm and continued to walk you the rest of the way. ??
    I understand where your mom is coming from, if I put myself in her shoes. But she needs to do the same for you... This is your wedding, not hers. Having your dance with him is a wonderful idea & as soon as it "sinks" into her brain, she will agree.
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    mergatormergator member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You need to do what makes you happy. I am 39 and my mom still tells me what to do and treats me the same way, it won't change. All that matters is that you best honor your dad in the way that is most meaningful to YOU, and no one else. Good Luck!
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