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Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.

Hello, sensible brides that have survived/are surviving the wedding. Man, I am looking forward to marriage but this wedding planning business is killing me. I work full time, do not have a wedding planner (event planners in Kansas are few and far between), have no local bridesmaids. Needless to say, problems crop up. How did you guys deal with the following:

 

One; NO ONE is returning my RSVP cards, complete with cute song request and postage. I sent out 160 invitations to mostly families and couples, ostensibly we could be hosting 300 people pretty easily (casual dessert reception at nightfall in a public park, nothing fancy). I have gotten 7 cards back. I know that a lot of people assume that I know they will be there or not, but I need solid #’s, the wedding is a month away. Also, FMIL and MOB did not include phone# or email on their list. Only one couple used the online RSVP, only one couple has talked to me about a room for the night (the town has no hotels, we rented out a local private colleges gorgeous brand new dorms, and I have to assign rooms). What do I do? Set up 300 chairs and hope for the best?

 

Two; (and this is more rant than anything) I keep getting pestered with questions like this: “My friends got you some gifts but they are worried BC they couldn’t figure out how to check off the item on your registry. Can you fix that/ make it easier?” No. I cannot. Target can. It’s their website. Why not ask someone in a red shirt for a little help. Another one “Aunt Janice (a drunkitty drunkerson, currently ankle braceleted into her trailer) can’t get to your website. Your card must have been wrong.” (For the record, the card was A-OK, used it myself, voila, website.) I’m the BRIDE, not Tech Support! How do I draw the line between being a good and helpful bride, but not accessible to every guest for every issue? I feel like if getting a gift proves difficult for some reason, don’t get one. And If being a guest is a little confusing, RSVP no. But for God’s sake, RSVP!

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Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.

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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Did you put an RSVP deadline on your invitations? Get phone numbers from your FMIL and mom and start making calls. Let people know that you need to have the cards so you can give an accurate count to the caterers.
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    edited December 2011
    My, aren't we all kinds of uppity.

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    awesome-sauceawesome-sauce member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:369f0fe3-5471-4579-be62-25c3d4241045">Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, sensible brides that have survived/are surviving the wedding. Man, I am looking forward to marriage but this wedding planning business is killing me. I work full time, do not have a wedding planner (event planners in Kansas are few and far between), have no local bridesmaids. Needless to say, problems crop up. How did you guys deal with the following:   One; NO ONE is returning my RSVP cards, complete with cute song request and postage. I sent out 160 invitations to mostly families and couples, XXXXXXXXXX we could be hosting 300 people pretty easily (casual dessert reception at nightfall in a public park, nothing fancy). I have gotten 7 cards back. I know that a lot of people assume that I know they will be there or not, but I need solid #’s, the wedding is a month away. Also, FMIL and MOB did not include phone# or email on their list. Only one couple used the online RSVP, only one couple has talked to me about a room for the night (the town has no hotels, we rented out a local private colleges gorgeous brand new dorms, and I have to assign rooms). What do I do? Set up 300 chairs and hope for the best?   Two; (and this is more rant than anything) I keep getting pestered with questions like this: “My friends got you some gifts but they are worried BC they couldn’t figure out how to check off the item on your registry. Can you fix that/ make it easier?” No. I cannot. Target can. It’s their website. Why not ask someone in a red shirt for a little help. Another one “Aunt Janice (a drunkitty drunkerson, currently ankle braceleted into her trailer) can’t get to your website. Your card must have been wrong.” (For the record, the card was A-OK, used it myself, voila, website.) I’m the BRIDE, not Tech Support! How do I draw the line between being a good and helpful bride, but not accessible to every guest for every issue? I feel like if getting a gift proves difficult for some reason, don’t get one. And If being a guest is a little confusing, RSVP no. But for God’s sake, RSVP!
    Posted by lrivard01[/QUOTE]

    I took out a word. It got on my nerBs.
    .
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:369f0fe3-5471-4579-be62-25c3d4241045">Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, sensible brides that have survived/are surviving the wedding. Man, I am looking forward to marriage but this wedding planning business is killing me. I work full time, do not have a wedding planner (event planners in Kansas are few and far between), have no local bridesmaids. Needless to say, problems crop up. How did you guys deal with the following:   One; NO ONE is returning my RSVP cards, complete with <strong>cute song request</strong> and postage. I sent out 160 invitations to mostly families and couples, ostensibly we could be hosting 300 people pretty easily (<strong>casual dessert reception at nightfall in a public park, nothing fancy</strong>). I have gotten 7 cards back. I know that a lot of people assume that I know they will be there or not, but I need solid #’s, the wedding is <strong>a month away</strong>. Also, FMIL and MOB did not include phone# or email on their list. Only one couple used the online RSVP, only one couple has talked to me about a room for the night (the town has no hotels, we rented out a local private colleges gorgeous brand new dorms, and I have to assign rooms). What do I do? Set up 300 chairs and hope for the best?   Two; (and this is more rant than anything) I keep getting pestered with questions like this: “My friends got you some gifts but they are worried BC they couldn’t figure out how to check off the item on your registry. Can you fix that/ make it easier?” No. I cannot. Target can. It’s their website. Why not ask someone in a red shirt for a little help. Another one “Aunt Janice (a drunkitty drunkerson, currently ankle braceleted into her trailer) can’t get to your website. Your card must have been wrong.” (For the record, the card was A-OK, used it myself, voila, website.) I’m the BRIDE, not Tech Support! How do I draw the line between being a good and helpful bride, but not accessible to every guest for every issue? I feel like if getting a gift proves difficult for some reason, don’t get one. And If being a guest is a little confusing, RSVP no. But for God’s sake, RSVP!
    Posted by lrivard01[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>most caterers need a count 1-2 weeks in advance. you're only having dessert in a public park, so the number isn't hugely important a month out. did you give a deadline? how long ago did you send out invites?</div><div>
    </div><div>you're only giving people dessert but expecting overnight guests? I wouldn't travel  more than an hour for a wedding where they were not planning to feed me. </div><div>
    </div><div>300+ people for a dessert reception sounds like a huge gift grab, especially given the trailer trash/Target registry rant. 

    </div><div>*ETA* and WTF? @ cute song request - <em>seriously</em>? maybe they haven't responded because they can't come up with a "cute song"</div>
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    edited December 2011
    Were having the wedding close to my family, but some extended families like my grandma, her sisters and brothers and the whole of my FI's family will want to be there, and they all live 4 hours away. Since it's a night time wedding (Kansas Summers are only bearable after 5 pm), we wanted to be able to offer those people a place to stay, instead of driving 4 hours home. 

    Also, the only way to feed 300 people on a budget is not to have dinner. We have 300 guests (maybe, I mean)  BC FI's family alone recieved 100 of my 160 invitations (large large large family. Both my FMIL and FMIL are 1 out of at six or seven children, FI is one of six, they multiply like rabbits, but they are wonderful people. Also: no caterer. There isn't one locally. In Kansas there are only Wedding planners, Caterers, Bridal Shops, ect in Kansas City and Witchita. Neither of which is close to me. Logical answer, dessert.

    Yes I had a deadline.

    The song on the RSVP is just supposed to be a love song that they like, that we will play at the wedding. It came from The Knot, and it has the bonus of letting us know what kind of music our guests enjoy. Because.... you guessed it! no DJ companies! and all the Bands are "praise bands" or high school emo rebellion bands.
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    edited December 2011
    Why don't we all just be nasty and jump down this girls throat.....maybe its because Im new here and haven't gotten them memo that I'm supposed to attack every other bride for asking a question.....

     also see NOTHING wrong with having a dessert reception, and if people have problem going to one then they are only in it for the free food, and don't give a rats ass about you and your FI

    I'd try to call people and let them know its important that you have a head count.

    Good luck :) Your wedding sounds like it will be lovely.
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:fec0043c-c13f-45d0-a79e-fdef301ca7fd">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]  <strong>Also, the only way to feed 300 people on a budget is not to have dinner.</strong> We have 300 guests (maybe, I mean)  BC FI's family alone recieved 100 of my 160 invitations (large large large family. Both my FMIL and FMIL are 1 out of at six or seven children, FI is one of six, they multiply like rabbits, but they are wonderful people. Also: no caterer. There isn't one locally. In Kansas there are only Wedding planners, Caterers, Bridal Shops, ect in Kansas City and Witchita. Neither of which is close to me. <strong>Logical answer, dessert.</strong> Yes I had a deadline. The song on the RSVP is just supposed to be a love song that they like, that we will play at the wedding. <strong>It came from The Knot,</strong> and it has the bonus of letting us know what kind of music our guests enjoy. Because.... you guessed it! no DJ companies! and all the Bands are "praise bands" or high school emo rebellion bands.
    Posted by lrivard01[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div><strong>translation: the only way to feed 300 people on a budget is not to feed them. </strong></div><div>
    </div><div>based on your post, you have essentially nothing in the small town where you are having the wedding, so where the heck are all of these people that are driving 4 hours each way and staying overnight going to eat dinner? (and <em>when </em>will they eat? you didn't say what time the ceremony was, but if you're having a reception at dinnertime, it is customary to feed your guests. The Knot should tell you that too)</div><div>
    </div><div>since you're not paying for a caterer, you should be able to have a very inexpensive dinner - pasta, rolls, salad - even for 300 can be done fairly cheap.</div><div>
    </div><div>also, just because something is on the Knot does not mean you should/must do it. 

    </div>
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    edited December 2011
    Yes, because most people go to the weddings for the awesome free food.

    Or, OP could just cut down the guest list from 3freakinghundred.
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:076386ef-5d9d-4df9-8f59-f9811bcc36f1">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why don't we all just be nasty and jomp down this girls throat.....maybe its because Im new here and haven't gotten them memo that I'm supposed to attack every other bride for asking a question.....  also see NOTHING wrong with having a dessert reception, and if people have problem going to one then they are only in it for the free food, and don't give a rats ass about you and your FI I'd try to call people and let them know its important that you have a head count. Good luck :) Your wedding sounds like it will be lovely.
    Posted by TriSarahtops82[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>there's nothing wrong with having a short cake and punch reception for your church after a mid-afternoon wedding - this seems to be customary in the South. </div><div>
    </div><div>however, if you're having a wedding/reception during a typical meal time (such as OP's 7pm reception) YOU NEED TO FEED YOUR GUESTS. A slice of cake doesn't cut it, especially for someone who has traveled all day, and is staying overnight just to come to the wedding. 

    </div>
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ...actually, 3.5 years later, people are still talking about the food at our wedding. (Extremely generous ILs hosted and went ALL OUT.)

    *ETA* - I would go to every party that my ILs throw, just for the food. They have a good party. I'm looking forward to my baby shower. 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:0f34c02a-35f8-469e-b024-60cbef50cb27">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea. : there's nothing wrong with having a short cake and punch reception for your church after a mid-afternoon wedding - this seems to be customary in the South.  however, if you're having a wedding/reception during a typical meal time (such as OP's 7pm reception) YOU NEED TO FEED YOUR GUESTS. A slice of cake doesn't cut it, especially for someone who has traveled all day, and is staying overnight just to come to the wedding. 
    Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]


    Again, I see no problem with it, and I'm from the North.  If the invitation explicitly says that I will only be receiving dessert, I will be more than happy to attend, and just eat dinner ahead of time.  But I don't go to weddings for the free food, I go to support a friend/family member on thier special day.....
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    edited December 2011
    Well, you clearly love food more than most.  Don't get me wrong, Its wonderful if the food at a wedding is great, but not all weddings are the same as YOURS some people cant afford to go "all out" so don't be so critical, just because its not what your family would do.
    The OP didn't say it was at durring dinner time, she also didnt say it was "one slice of cake per guest" perhaps there will be many different desserts.

    And just because there isn't a catering company doesn't mean there arent any places to eat.

    Her wedding is a month away, you belittling her isn't going to suddenly increase her budget so she can have 10 course meal.....

    Why don't you be helpful and try to answer her question...
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah Barbie, she didn't say there would just be "one slice of cake per guest." Maybe they'll get two; you don't know!
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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why don't you be helpful and try to answer her question...

    Because she hasn't come back to answer the posters' questions.  Her wedding is still a month away, and she hasn't told us when the RSVP deadline is, so it's hard to give advice.  If the deadline hasn't passed she needs to chill.  If it has passed, she needs to call people and find out if they're coming.  If she didn't give a deadline, that was her mistake, and she needs to wait a couple more weeks before bugging people.
    Married 10/2/10
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I made a VERY helpful suggestion - get some pasta, rolls, and salad to feed the guests. 

    16oz box of pasta at Walmart - $.50 - let's assume this will serve 6 people

    300/6 =50 boxes needed @ $.50 = $25

    Jar of Sauce - $2.50 - assume it serves 10

    300/10 = 30 jars needed @ $2.50 = $75

    Salad - get ingredients at local farm market, say $100 total

    Rolls - 400 from local bakery / walmart @$.25/ea = $100

    Dinner for 300 for a buck a person. 

    ***ETA*** if OP wants to go ALL OUT; she can spend another $200 on some 2L bottles of pop, a few boxes of wine, and some cases of frat-party-quality beer

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    edited December 2011
    Well....since she only posted a short time ago......  maybe she actually has a life, and doesn't sit on The Knot boards all day waiting to pounce on other brides (or people who got married years ago, yet are crazy with absolutely no life, and still prowl the site....wow, sad...)

    I've reached my bitch fest quota for the day...... I'm out...
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:c035671a-4c89-4e39-8422-9ee2839ba151">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah Barbie, she didn't say there would just be "one slice of cake per guest." Maybe they'll get two; you don't know!
    Posted by ilovewhoseweddingisitanyway[/QUOTE]

    <div>yeah - hopefully no diabetics in the bunch - 2 pieces of cake may put them over the edge. </div>
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    edited December 2011
    Eat ahead of time? When are they supposed to have time for that?
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:86c7d5bb-5695-48a1-8fa4-b0308d1543c1">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, you clearly love food more than most.  Don't get me wrong, Its wonderful if the food at a wedding is great, but not all weddings are the same as YOURS some people cant afford to go "all out" so don't be so critical, just because its not what your family would do. <div>
    </div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">working within a budget doesn't give you the right to be rude to your guests. all of us have budgets. some are just higher than others. you work with what you have, and you make it work. if she can't afford to feed 300 people she shouldn't be inviting 300 people. it's not rocket science. </font></div><div>
    </div><div>The OP didn't say it was at durring dinner time, she also didnt say it was "one slice of cake per guest" perhaps there will be many different desserts.</div><div>
    </div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">no she said it was a "nightfall" reception. generally speaking the sun sets around 7/8ish. which is dinner time. which means that guests are going to expect food. </font></div><div>
    </div><div> And just because there isn't a catering company doesn't mean there arent any places to eat. </div><div>
    </div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">exactly the point. many restaurants will also do catering or provide trays of takeout to be set up to feed guests. if there's a place that sells food that means there's a way to feed people. and she is choosing not to use it. </font></div><div>
    </div><div>Her wedding is a month away, you belittling her isn't going to suddenly increase her budget so she can have 10 course meal..... Why don't you be helpful and try to answer her question...</div><div>
    </div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">and what exactly was that question? the original  post consisted of "people aren't sending back their rsvp's with their cute songs on it and i don't know how to fix a registry at target"....so yea where's the question? 
    </font>Posted by TriSarahtops82[/QUOTE]

    </div>
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    edited December 2011

    There are 300 people because they are FAMILY. talk about being rude? I only invited out to FI's first cousins (their spouses and children included, that's only nice, since they would be driving 4 hours) and it was 200. They all live near eachother in Central Nebraska. If I cut his family in half they would certainly notice, and that would be undoubtably rude.

    For those of you not near an almanac, let me clue you in. In Kansas during the last weekend in June, the sunset is after 9 pm (9:26 to be precise) The wedding does not start until 7:30pm. The guests have lists of the local restaurants (none of wich have catering, natch). There is plenty of time to grab dinner before. It makes no sense to have dinner at 8:30 pm or later, after the ceremony. We wil also have refreshments available as they check into the rooms, wich we have open and 2 reserved for out of towners to change in.

    Number of pieces of cake: moot. "dessert reception" is not "cake and punch Reception" we planned hor d'oevres, and a selection of desserts. FYI, that frat party idea... no alchohol. # reasons: The county is "dry". so are the surrounding ones. Literally every relative on my side of the family minus mom, dad, grandma, and my mom's sister, has had an addiction problem at some point. FI's family is very conservative(are you suprised, 200 of them, living near eachother in rural NE? if they all went ot the same church I'd call it a cult), they won't miss it at all.

    RSVP date: 2 days ago.

    Oh, and I could have anywhere from 7 to 300 guests. I don't know. and thats the problem. I invited many knowing they may not come. But to be prepared.. its better to plan for the max.

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    edited December 2011
    Wow--that all makes sense! lrivard01, some of us actually use our brains (while others think with thier stomachs....?!?!)  or are just very nasty people with no lives, who got married 5 years ago, yet still sit on the knot all day long looking for new Brides to attack. 

    730 is most definitely NOT dinner time...I think a dessert reception is great, and it's actually something we do a lot here in Boston and NY where I am from originally. Your guests will definitely enjoy that, I know FI and I would.

    I'd call the people who you DO have phone numbers for, and maybe some of them will be able to give you contact info for those you don't have. 

    It will all work out, Just know that whoever comes to your wedding, it will be beautiful, It is YOUR day, and you can celebrate however you want. 
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    edited December 2011
    So, what time do you eat dinner? 4:30? I guess my wedding was a fail because we served dinner at 7.

    And yes, it's HER day. But what she and you can't seem to grasp is that it's MORE rude to invite 300 people when you can't afford to feed them, than to only invite 100 and be able to serve them dinner.

    OP- did you include on your invites that it will be a dessert only reception and that people need to eat dinner beforehand? Perhaps this is the reason why you're not getting RSVPs...

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:2b219155-13bb-4b2a-9f7a-102b7ec1f2d2">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, what time do you eat dinner? 4:30? I guess my wedding was a fail because we served dinner at 7.  <font color="#339966">We usually eat between 530 and 6-The last wedding I was in, dinner wasnt served til 730 and everyone was whining because they were starving</font>

    And yes, it's HER day. But what she and you can't seem to grasp is that it's MORE rude to invite 300 people when you can't afford to feed them, than to only invite 100 and be able to serve them dinner. <font color="#339966">If she is inviting 300 people (the majority of which are FAMILY) to a Dessert reception I dont see it as rude AT ALL. It is Rude to tell one cousin that they are invited and another that they aren't.  Some Families are very close knit even though they are large in numbers
    </font>
    OP- did you include on your invites that it will be a dessert only reception and that people need to eat dinner beforehand? Perhaps this is the reason why you're not getting RSVPs... <font color="#339966">She said she told them, she gave them a list of restaurants.  This is her FAMILY  I'm sure they understand the situation....I'd bet other weddings in the family have been similar....with everyne invited </font>
    Posted by ilovewhoseweddingisitanyway[/QUOTE]
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    edited December 2011
    You're right. Because they're FAMILY, they should drive 4 hours to get there, and pay for their own dinner, just for the sake of being invited. Close knit or not, it would be LESS rude to keep it to immediate family (this means no cousins and their 4-5 kids, not just select cousins) and be able to serve them dinner, especially if they are coming from 4 hours away.

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:6a96336c-b79d-41d4-9fcc-ae810199748d">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]You're right. Because they're FAMILY, they should drive 4 hours to get there, and pay for their own dinner, just for the sake of being invited. Close knit or not, it would be LESS rude to keep it to immediate family (this means no cousins and their 4-5 kids, not just select cousins) and be able to serve them dinner, especially if they are coming from 4 hours away.
    Posted by ilovewhoseweddingisitanyway[/QUOTE]


    If you say so.....

    They have the CHOICE to attend, she isn't forcing anyone to come....
    The POINT IS, she wanted to know how others would handle the lack of RSVP situation.  She didnt ask for your nasty comments and opinions on her wedding choices.  Why do so many of you, who are Already married feel that you have a right to be so mean to other people?  It is disturbing, and very sad, spend time with your husband, or get a hobby if you dont want to be around him....I mean really, this is a forum for people who are getting married, not for people who are trying to live vicariousy through them because they are obsessed with wedding planning and have no lives.
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    edited December 2011
    Yep, you caught me. I miss planning my wedding so much that I am trying to live vicariously through someone who can't afford hers and is going to serve her 300 guests cake for dinner.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Gone too Soon.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:c391e08a-82d1-4abf-87ac-e41e182fd20c">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yep, you caught me. I miss planning my wedding so much that I am trying to live vicariously through someone who can't afford hers and is going to serve her 300 guests cake for dinner.
    Posted by ilovewhoseweddingisitanyway[/QUOTE]


    so why ARE you here?!  not to offer support or to be helpful.....
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:f6e797c1-a05a-4bb3-bcb5-4df5281dc630">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea. : so why ARE you here?!  not to offer support or to be helpful.....
    Posted by TriSarahtops82[/QUOTE]
    <div>
    </div><div>this is EXACTLY why you should lurk before posting - if you did, then you'd realize that nearly all of the regulars on this board are married, and have been here for some time. we're here to talk to each other, not to blow puppies and unicorns up your a$$. We also get a pretty regular parade of idiot beebees through this board which provides some entertainment. We're actually a very helpful and intelligent group - and just FYI, "helpful" means telling it like it is, not just telling people what they want to hear. We offer sound advice - it's not out fault that most are too stupid to listen. </div><div>
    </div><div>travel is expensive - you need to pay for transportation, lodging, boarding pets or babysitting, and meals on the road - if guests are coming from out of town to celebrate with you, you need to give them the best experience possible - which, imo, would entail treating them to a nice meal and a night of entertainment. I've gone to plenty of small budget weddings where they did all they could to provide for their guests - it doesn't have to be surf and turf and a 13 piece band, but the guests shouldn't leave hungry or bored an hour into the reception. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>also @ the OP: If I lived 4 hours away, I would not be coming to your wedding - it wouldn't surprise me if you get a lot of declines when you start calling people - also, when you type out a wall of text, you should be clear in your meaning - i.e. "dessert reception" translates to dessert only, not whore derbs and dessert. i still think that having an evening wedding, you should be feeding your guests an actual dinner, especially if you have a lot of people coming from out of town.</div>
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:62fe5d27-64d6-41f1-b18a-5e63c9ec2da3">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea. : this is EXACTLY why you should lurk before posting - if you did, then you'd realize that nearly all of the regulars on this board are married, and have been here for some time. we're here to talk to each other, not to blow puppies and unicorns up your a$$. We also get a pretty regular parade of idiot beebees through this board which provides some entertainment. We're actually a very helpful and intelligent group - and just FYI, "helpful" means telling it like it is, not just telling people what they want to hear. We offer sound advice - it's not out fault that most are too stupid to listen.

    <font color="#333399">I have Lurked, and Ive seen you and other pathetic married chicks who spend time here while ignoring their husbands (but Im sure the husbands are grateful to have you away from them) Ive seen you all gang up on girls until they snap and retaliate and then POOF they get banned from YOUR boards....If you want to talk to each other then send a damn e-mail...get a life and stop living your wedding la la land on the knot.</font>
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bother-postage-guests-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35e5f7e1-430d-4bcb-9f81-4a33e054586fPost:e2d0aa53-07e1-473b-b6bc-bd1805aa4e31">Re: Why Bother With the Postage. help! my guests have no idea.</a>:
    [QUOTE] I have Lurked, and Ive seen you and <strong>other pathetic married chicks who spend time here while ignoring their husbands (but Im sure the husbands are grateful to have you away from them</strong>) Ive seen you all gang up on girls until they snap and retaliate and then POOF they get banned from YOUR boards....If you want to talk to each other then send a damn e-mail...get a life and stop living your wedding la la land on the knot.
    Posted by TriSarahtops82[/QUOTE]

    <div>my husband is making me a snack while I amuse myself online. as soon as I eat, I'm getting offline so we can have wild passionate sex... what's your excuse? shouldn't you be getting it on with your FI instead of engaging in pointless arguments with bitter, old married hags?</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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