Should I just tell my dad to go....

sdolce

Hi. FI and I have decided on a date and possibly a location. However there are a few issues as always! We're considering my childhood home. It's a ranch that my grandparents are now living at due to my parents divorce, 10+ years ago. No one wanted to sell the property so my grandparents took it over. I have hopes of inheriting it in my future. Anyways, once I told my dad about our thoughts of getting married there he quickly started trying to persuade me into looking other venues. I thought it was odd since he's been cordial with my mother and her side of the family during birthdays and such. But then I remembered my father hasn't been out at the ranch since he left. Am I wrong to not accommodate my father for our wedding? Eventually he will need to go back out to the ranch because one day I will live there. The place is very wedding cost friendly to us too. Thank you! Sarah

Wzz

first, are your grandparents allowing you to have a wedding at their home?

sdolce

Yes.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_should-i-just-tell-my-dad-to-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:35fa65f1-59b4-4e79-8343-7a364fa7e774Post:18103930-59e1-49dd-8d8e-89b60157b093">Re: Should I just tell my dad to go....</a>:
[QUOTE]first, are your grandparents allowing you to have a wedding at their home?
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

Wzz

i think it's up to you. i suggest speaking with your dad and asking him if he is uncomfortable going to the ranch, and ask him what would make him comfortable there. take it from there, if you even want to look at other venues, or if his comfort is something you want to be concerned with.

i don't know your dad, and i don't see that you said it actually makes him uncomfortable, so i think you need more information from him directly before making a decision.

MNNEBride

Is your father paying for the wedding?

*Barbie*

is your dad paying for the wedding? if not, i would say that it's not really up to him where you decide to have it. 

not knowing any of the history, i would say that your dad needs to suck it up for a day, and act like an adult. *however* you need to keep in mind that you checked with him and he told you that he has an issue with it, if you choose to get married at the ranch, you may need to deal with the fact that your father chooses not to attend. 

cbrown828

That's rough. You're going to be (possibly) getting married in a place where your father lived a raised a family with the woman he is no longer married to. I can't say I would be able to ask my dad to do that for me, no matter how much money it saved me. I think you need to talk to him a little more about his concerns and take his feelings into consideration. This is more than just a venue he doesn't like. It's history.

Lyds85

Before you decide, Maybe you could look at other options and then compare pros and cons. i almost had my wedding at a family members ranch, but i quickly realized it would cost more to rent everything rather than just go to a wedding venue where things are all included. that being said, i think if you really want to have it there, than you should. i agree that dad can suck it up for 1 day. you should have the wedding you want.