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Grumpy Neighbor

I work as an in-home nanny (as in I go to THEIR home to watch their kids). My boss's house is on a narrow street that curves into a cauldesac. On trash and recycling days, the big trucks can't always get down the street if there are cars parked on the road. So they just don't pick up the trash or recycling.

My boss is out of town and her husband is deployed, so there is nowhere for me to park in their driveway, as both cars are there. I generally park on the street directly in front of the house. Today, the night nanny (for when mommy's out of town) was parked there, so I parked in the driveway of an allegedly unoccupied house across the street. This is where I was told to park by ANOTHER neighbor who chewed me out for parking on the street during trash day. I thought today was the recycling pickup day. I don't live in this city, so I'm not entirely sure. I thought it was just a safe bet to park there.

So here it is, 3:30pm. Both my little girls are napping - both are sick and one is teething, to boot. So naptime is a freakin' Godsend. I have a note posted on the door that says "Please knock - babies sleeping!" An old woman comes and BANGS on the door. I peek through the peephole to see who it is - I don't recognize her. Before I can unlock the door, she rings the doorbell. *facepalm*

I open the door and she says "You need to move your car from my driveway before I have it towed," and then starts walking away. I said "Wait... what? I'm sorry. I was told to park there before..." and she interrupts me and just goes OFF. "It's not your house, you can't park there" blah blah blah. I tried to explain to her that another neighbor told me to park there since the original resident moved out (a much older lady who was moved into a nursing home). Well apparently she will be "home" in half an hour - I'm assuming to visit. At this point, I'm assuming this is the elderly woman's daughter. I know there has been some work going on in the house to get it fixed up to sell.

Well according to this woman, I was told by her AND her painter that I was not to park there... except I've never met her. And I have no idea who her painter is. I've never been told NOT to park there. But she wasn't convinced, apparently, so she spewed some more rudeness before stalking back across the street. I immediately retrieved my purse and keys, and moved my car back to it's usual spot.

Apparently that wasn't enough, because she came BACK out of her house to yell some more about how it's not even trash day, and I can't use that excuse. I said "Look, I don't live here, I don't know," but that wasn't enough. She said "You're just looking for an excuse" and finally I yelled back "And you're just a rude old lady who can't use PMS as an excuse for her horrible attitude!" and I went inside.


I'm fuming. Grr.
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Re: Grumpy Neighbor

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    just park on the street and if someone has a problem with it, tell them they can take it up with your employer. 
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    WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited September 2012
    you were wrong for parking in her driveway to begin with. regardless of what someone else told you, you should have apologized and left it at that.

    she was courteous enough to tell you to move the car. *I* would have had the car towed.
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    i'm also confused - parking is allowed on the street?

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    I kind of side with the old lady here.  It's usually obvious when it's trash day even if it's someplace you go for the first time.  Someone really doesn't have the right to tell you to park in someone else's drive.  We bought a vacant house.  If I'd come home someday to a random car, had to hunt down the owner, then get them to move it I'd be cranky too.

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    Are you a bald black man? Because she probably told Seal to not park there and doesn't realize that you and Seal are not the same person.

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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grumpy-neighbor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:64c0f10c-e293-40d4-9ca0-9ba8a9aa1b31Post:02c2a666-eb34-438a-8a98-4fbabc028f66">Re: Grumpy Neighbor</a>:
    [QUOTE]I kind of side with the old lady here.  It's usually obvious when it's trash day even if it's someplace you go for the first time.  Someone really doesn't have the right to tell you to park in someone else's drive.  We bought a vacant house.  If I'd come home someday to a random car, had to hunt down the owner, then get them to move it I'd be cranky too.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    This.   And Wz reply.
    How do you not know if it's trash day?   Wouldn't you notice the trash cans and recycling bins, or the lack thereof.
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    I get here very early in the morning most days, and most of the neighbors don't put their trash out until later in the morning.

    Also, apparently trash day is on Thursday... except when it's not. That's the quote from my boss.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grumpy-neighbor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:64c0f10c-e293-40d4-9ca0-9ba8a9aa1b31Post:4f9d8dfd-45be-4779-8b2f-e707e742d6f4">Re: Grumpy Neighbor</a>:
    [QUOTE]you were wrong for parking in her driveway to begin with. regardless of what someone else told you, you should have apologized and left it at that. <strong>she was courteous enough to tell you to move the car. *I* would have had the car towed.</strong>
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    <div>^^^me too. </div>
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    and plus also, to harp on an already made point, if you don't know the trash schedule, and park in someone else's driveway just in case, then why do you care enough to not park on the street? IMO, if it is legal to park on the street and the trash collectors refuse to pick up garbage if someone is parked, then it should be the residents' responsibility to contact the city or sanitation company to fix that problem.

    you could also park a block or two away and walk in order to not inconvenience anyone.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grumpy-neighbor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:64c0f10c-e293-40d4-9ca0-9ba8a9aa1b31Post:4f9d8dfd-45be-4779-8b2f-e707e742d6f4">Re: Grumpy Neighbor</a>:
    [QUOTE]you were wrong for parking in her driveway to begin with. regardless of what someone else told you, you should have apologized and left it at that. she was courteous enough to tell you to move the car. *I* would have had the car towed.
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    I <strong>did</strong> apologize and tried to explain what happened and why I was confused. She immediately came at me with a rude disposition. I didn't even say anything about the big bold sign on the door that said to knock for the sleeping children, though I was tempted.

    I am just pissed that she flat out lied to me and said she told me before. How can someone lie about that...? Furthermore, I immediately moved the car without complaint. And then she continued berating me.
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grumpy-neighbor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:64c0f10c-e293-40d4-9ca0-9ba8a9aa1b31Post:b17ed63d-cc9f-4095-9765-e7214470b162">Re: Grumpy Neighbor</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you a bald black man? Because she probably told Seal to not park there and doesn't realize that you and Seal are not the same person.
    Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]
    Bwahahahha!
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    oh, i thught you immediately told her that she didn't have PMS as an excuse for her bad attitude. i didn't know that you actually meant that you moved the car - leaving the babies asleep in the house.

    but i bet you were only gone for a minute and nothing could have happened to tyou or the kids in that time.

    what a great position you put yourself in.

    btw, i would be LIVID if my nanny caused an altercation with a neighbor for something she did, and then left my kid alone in the house in order to fix it.

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    Come on.  You were wrong.  She was probably a little stressed about her mom coming home and if they were getting ready to sell the house then she probably has some emotions coming into play.  She had other things to worry about than trying to figure out who the dumbass was that parked in her drive. 

    Bottom line- if you park on someone else's property expect to get yelled at.

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    I wondered about the logistics of leaving the kids to move the car too.
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    this topic has me more stressed than it is worth.

    the majority of people on this board have daycare-aged kids. do you really think we'll be all "woe is the nanny" up in here? because, no.

    we leave our kids with educated and experienced sitters/DCP/nannies because we have no other choice. it is upsetting that THIS is the nonsense someone's caregiver is posting about.

    while at work, watching someone's children.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_grumpy-neighbor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:64c0f10c-e293-40d4-9ca0-9ba8a9aa1b31Post:806b2f2b-6746-419b-802f-bcf519fcaa01">Re: Grumpy Neighbor</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh, i thught you immediately told her that she didn't have PMS as an excuse for her bad attitude. i didn't know that you actually meant that you moved the car - leaving the babies asleep in the house. but i bet you were only gone for a minute and nothing could have happened to tyou or the kids in that time. what a great position you put yourself in. btw, i would be LIVID if my nanny caused an altercation with a neighbor for something she did, and then left my kid alone in the house in order to fix it.
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    Please tell me how you would've handled it. Without being rude, without having your car towed and without leaving the sleeping children. Oh, and without not having done it in the first place.
    image
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    how would *I* have handled it?

    i would have never parked on someone else's property to begin with. this would not have happened to me.

    let's pretend the homeowner gave you permission, and then immediately forgot that afternoon. i would have apologized, said it would never happen again, and ask if i could wait until the end of my shift, hoping that being nice would give me some leeway.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited September 2012

    You are missing the point that most people would never have parked there to begin with because they know better.  I would have asked the night nanny to move her car then taken her spot taking turns to watch the kids. 

    If for some reason I had a mental lapse and parked somewhere I shouldn't I would have been much more apologetic and explained the kids were sleeping then asked if she would have watched the kids for 2 mins so I could safely move the car.

    I'm guessing that you opened the door with attitude so your first apology was completely dismissed.

    ETA: If the option is leaving the children unattended or getting towed, you get towed.

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    I'll be in the minority on the 'leave the children' thing...if it's literally across the street while the kids are sleeping, I'm not sure I see that as a 'oh noes, home alone!" situation.  But I can be more blase about leaving my OWN kid than I can about someone else's

    But, I'd be pissy as hell if someone parked in my driveway.  And who the hell gives someone permission to park in someone else's driveway?  (and, on that front, who takes the permission given by a 3rd party?)

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    The kids are asleep, she locks the door. This is not a big deal, srsly. 

    But I'm with everyone else on the parking. If trash doesn't get picked up, that's not your fault. That's the sanitation company's or - much more likely in this scenario, methinks - the city's fault. The homeowners have to take it up with them if street parking is legal on trash days. 
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    I'm kind of "eh" about you actually moving the car because Bmom is right, it's like less than 5 mins and the kids were asleep. 

    However, if I ever had help that came to my house (nanny, cleaning lady, etc.) and got into an altercation with a neighbor like this, I'd consider firing them.  Especially since you decided to yell at her about PMS or whatnot.  Insulting someone in that manner is trashy and uncalled for, IMO.  Maybe she didn't give you time to respond or whatnot, but you were wrongly parked and she was obviously not into explanations/excuses.   

    I'd be livid.  You don't have to live with this lady, but your employer does.  I've had enough experiences with bad neighbors to know that having one that's pissed off at you for things other people have done is the worst.
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    between this and carrann, i am so glad i didn't go with a nanny.
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    WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited September 2012
    i have to disagree that it isn't a big deal.

    if it is a big deal to the parent of the children asleep in the house, then it is a big deal.

    it's a cul de sac, and the chances of something happening are slim, but what if something DID happen? some freak accident? then the kids are asleep upstairs alone.

    sorry. with mom out of town, this is a big deal to me. call me paranoid, i dont care. but if these were MY kids, then this would be a huge deal for me.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2012
    Yes, if the parents would not do something like that or asked the nanny/sitter not to leave the kids alone under any circumstances, then it's a big deal.  I don't know her employer's rules or her relationship with her.

    I would not be upset if my sitter had to do something like that during naptime.  But my sitter also has a second person with her all day, so the kids are truly never alone.  It's kind of a non-issue. :)
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    So you have told us how you complain on Facebook about the kids you look after, you started a fight with your employers neighbor and you leave the children unattended. You have to be the worst nanny ever!
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