Oh so tired today (long and a little venty)

mrsconn23

I posted on FB about this, but my niece is in the hospital.  After running a bunch of tests and still not figuring out what was going on, they did a CT scan and it's her appendix.  She's having surgery today.

DH and I were up late again last night because we didn't get the news about my niece until after 10pm.   My IL's are heading out to be with SIL and help out with my other niece tonight or tomorrow.

DH wants to go with my IL's and take the kiddo with him.  I'm  trying to figure out what the point of that would be.   The hospital is over an hour away from SIL's and her house is completely packed up (for their move).  They've been living in temp housing on base. 

So that means that they would be staying in a hotel and hanging out in a hospital all weekend.  I think the situation would be much better served if we a) went to Peoria for the weekend like we planned for his cousins graduation.  We could represent for his family or b) stay in town and make sure that our house and my IL's house are ready for SIL and the girls to be here (the plan was for SIL to meet us in Peoria and then she was going to come to Indy to wait for her H to come home on leave from being deployed and then they were going to head down to their new base).

But I think DH thinks he can fix something by being there.  But I think that there's going to be too many people and that will add to my niece's and SIL's stress.   I think his parents being there will be enough.

And let's not even mention the fact that we spent a lot of money to get our air conditioner fixed this week and we don't really have it in the budget for a trip to a place that's 8 hours away, involves a hotel stay, and eating out for 8-10 meals. 

Andplusalso, since I put my foot down pretty much from the get-go that me and the baby would NOT be going unless niece was critical, that means I get to spend my 3 day weekend completely alone w/o my family and with a 2 mo old baby.  I'm not exactly sure if I'm really ready for DH to be 8 hours away for 3 days.

So I'm trying to figure out how to get DH to understand this w/o an argument.  That's going to be hard because a) we're both running on very little sleep from having a rough 2 nights in a row and b) DH is very illogical and over emotional when it comes to his family, especially in 'crisis' situations.   ::sigh::

I just want to go back to bed and snuggle my baby and wake up when the weekend is over.

tawillers

Spending a long weekend in a hospital wouldn't be much fun for the kiddo.  I mean, yeah, family will be around, but what is there to do?  He'll go crazy.

I'd skip the graduation trip to be more friendly to your budget.  Is your niece coming to stay with you/the ILs after her surgery?  Am I reading correctly that it's an 8 hour drive?

If so, I'd just stick around and help get the houses ready.  Maybe pick up a few things for her to do while she's recovering.

mrsconn23

I don't want the kiddo to go either.  I think he'd have a much better time staying home with me and being able to see his friends.

Yes, SIL was planning to be here for the next 2-ish weeks, bouncing between my IL's and her IL's houses and possibly staying a couple nights with us.   BIL is coming home on leave for 3 weeks or so starting in mid-June and when he gets here, they're going to their new home to move in and get settled.

Yes, it's an 8 hour drive.  So they'd be driving 16 hours round trip (plus any city driving) in 3 days.

I personally didn't really want to make the trip for the graduation, but DH wanted to go to show off DefConn.  And we were going to be staying with family and not eating out, so it wasn't to cost us that much.

I'd rather stay home and just bum around.  Maybe get some stuff done around the house that we've been putting off.  And also start looking for stuff that I'm going to need to work at home.

6fsn

Use your post as a guide to what you want to say.  It's a long drive, it will take a toll financially and emotionally.  You aren't prepared for him to be that far away. 

Suggest things you can do to prep for them coming home- clean the house, get books/games, have some food for everyone.

You could also leave a caveat that if niece has complications, which we pray she doesn't, he goes right to her.  No questions.

nicoleg1982

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_oh-tired-today-long-little-venty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:992c2fef-dac4-4202-8de8-c7567afd54b0Post:03330b21-e72a-47e9-9677-1952a5aaa0c7">Oh so tired today (long and a little venty)</a>:
[QUOTE] b) DH is very illogical and over emotional when it comes to his family, especially in 'crisis' situations. 
Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry you married a woman.  ;)</div>

*Barbie*

I agree with you - there's nothing they can do right now, and it's not worth the time/money. being alone for an extended period of time with the baby is rough too. DK went on a week-long business trip when Wolverine was 4.5 months, and I was losing my mind halfway through the week.

**O-Face**

This doesn't seem to be a crisis situation anymore.  They know the diagnosis, they have the solution scheduled and it seems the family will need some downtime, not people traipsing around them all weekend.

mrsconn23

Thanks for the validation ladies. 

@Nico-I know!  DH sometimes sees me being practical and logical about this stuff as being me being unemotional and/or a bitch, but whatever.  Someone has to be sane and balanced about this stuff or we'd end up running around like crazy people every time there was a crisis (or perceived crisis).

@6-That was my line of thinking...If God forbid, something goes wrong, I'll be the first to tell DH to go, go,go.

@O-That's exactly what my mom said this morning.  The crisis has passed (for the most part...just need to get through the surgery).

I'm hoping that once the surgery is over, SIL will have a grip on how long niece will be in the hospital.  Also, I hope SHE tells DH that he doesn't *have* to come. 

I think part of the motivation to my IL's wanting DH to go with is that they want to be able to split the hotel and gas bill with us.   Which is BS, IMO.  They should suck it up and go or tell SIL they just can't afford it, not rely on us and our checkbook.  But I don't even want to get into that right now because it's the tip of the iceberg with regard to things my IL's do/say/think/feel that makes me crazy.

**O-Face**

Wow.  Wanting peopel to come to split a bill is crap, IMO.  If you want them to come, fine...but don't make it about splitting bills.  That's just nuts!

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_oh-tired-today-long-little-venty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:992c2fef-dac4-4202-8de8-c7567afd54b0Post:036db39b-979d-4c20-9879-4fe7ba72c8b5">Re: Oh so tired today (long and a little venty)</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow.  Wanting peopel to come to split a bill is crap, IMO.  If you want them to come, fine...but don't make it about splitting bills.  That's just nuts!
Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]

Oh I don't think they came out and said that to DH. Just knowing them and seeing how they've operated for 7 years, I have a feeling it's definitely an underlying motivation.

**O-Face**

Oh, it doesn't have to be expressly said for it to still be a load of poo.

mrsconn23

Update: MIL got a flight to be with SIL today.  DH, the kids, FIL, and I are heading to the graduation goings on in Peoria. 

I'm glad everyone backed off the panic.