Guest List...Please Help!

cole2585

I have a huge family. Lot's of aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, etc. My fiance has a very very small family that is distant and out of town so he will probably only have his parents and brother attend. Our reception venue, a picnic pavilion, has limited seating and we have a VERY low budget (hence the picnic pavilion!) We have a two year old, so we are having a very casual, low-key reception at a local park and want kids to be there as well. The struggle is, my family is very close and, for the most part, I visit with and enjoy the company of 6 great aunts and uncles and their spouses and kids and grandkids, etc. I just can't afford to feed all of them! My mother insists that you have to invite family in levels. So, if I invite one 3rd cousin, I have to invite them all. Is this the case? I play cards and talk regularly with one of my third cousins and his family, but not his brothers and sisters (who do live in town and attend all family functions, we just aren't close). I don't want to cause a family fued, hurt any one's feelings, or come across as rude. Do I just not invite my one third cousin to avoid the 50 extra people my mother insists have to come along with him? Please help!

cole2585

Sorry, I thought I posted this under etiquette and can't figure out how to delete it.

theelusive1

My daughter is inviting one of my cousins, they are very close.  The has seen the others maybe once in her life.  I see no need to invite who you do not socialize with.

ksblumb

We ran into the same issue. We wanted to keep the guestlist small and only those who we are close with. Some cousins were invited - some werent. Heck, some aunts and uncles were invited while some weren't. My FIs parents have thrown a few fits about it and we just keep telling them that we are only inviting those who we are close with. We havent seen Cousin Ed in 2 years and have never been close, why would we invite him? On the other hand, we see 3rd Cousin Ann and her husband weekly, and are delighted to have them celebrate our marriage with us.

I will say though, that my parents are covering food and alcohol, and my FI and I are paying for the rest of the wedding. If MY parents had guestlist requests, it is something we would consider. If his parents were contributing, their hissy fits would be considered. Money often comes attached to strings, so if your mom is paying, sit and talk with her more about this. And be prepared, if it comes down to it, to either give in or have her stop paying.

cole2585

Thanks for all the help!

*Additional info: My mother has offered to pay for the dress and my fiance and I will be paying for everything else.