Father Daughter + Stepdad...

Kittikat1786

I'm getting married in September and my latest concern is the father/daughter dance.

My parents have been divorced since I was 3 and I am not CLOSE to my dad, as he isn't a very warm and lovey person, but he has always been there for me and helped me whenever I have needed him. 

My step-dad has been part of my life since I was 8, and pretty much helped raise me with my mother. He and I have never had a father daughter relationship of the "daddy" sort, and I really missed out on that with both dads...but I digress.

I've decided to have them both walk me down the aisle because they are both fathers to me and important in my life. But for my dance, I certainly can't dance with both at the same time. I know they'll understand I want to share a special dance with them both, but I don't want to slight either one.

Have any of you faced this before? My first thought would be to split a song and dance with my biological father first. 

Lored

I think your options are to either a) skip it altogether - you don't HAVE to do a father daughter dance at all or b) do one with each. In the interest of your guests not getting antsy/bored, I would encourage you to choose a song and just split it between the two. One can just cut it halfway. Hopefully they will both understand. This way you are not slighting either.

mlg78

Split the dance or skip it.  Those are your only options because doing two dances is unnecessary and drives guests nuts.

ZiggyZos

I had two spotlight dances, one with my dad and one with my stepdad (they also split walking me down the aisle). Our cake and coffee bar was being put out and the bar was one, so many guests did take the time to help themselves to one of those, but both of the "dads" in my life appreciated the moment and I love the pictures.

stoophie89

my mom was married 5 years ago and she had been put into foster care when she was young she had been still keeping in touch and close to her father and her foster dad, she picked two diffrent songs had them shortened a little bit and danced with both. so that everyone was pleased, and more importantly she was pleased!! just make sure you explain that to your band/dj so that they know what to do and what to say! 

FSS13

I have the same situation, and I am tempted to skip the dance altogether to avoid insulting my real father's family (and plus I don't really like dancing in front of a bunch of people...) However, if you don't want to skip the father/daughter dance, it's probably best to pick a song that works for both of them, find a good place in the middle, and switch dads. As long as they both know in advance that this is happening, it won't look or feel awkward. 

Also, I know you didn't ask about this, but I thought I'd throw my two cents in anyway... Instead of having both walk me down the aisle, I'm having my step-dad walk me in and down the aisle, then give me to my real dad at the end of the aisle, who will then officially "give me away" when the minister asks the questions. I mostly did this because my real dad is in poor health and can't walk very far, BUT also because I went to a wedding once where the bride had her dad and step dad both walk her down the aisle, and the three of them were a little too wide for the aisle and knocked down some decorations =/ Something to think about if you have shepherd's hooks or other decorations along the aisle.