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Reception Ideas

3 Months until the wedding and now I can't use candles!

When we booked our vineyard venue we specifically asked if candles were ok to use in a centerpiece. Our coordinator said it was fine as long as they abide by fire safety standards (which ours do). In our contract it also says candles are fine... 

4 days ago my coordinator tells me that candles are no longer allowed, the owner's decision, because they had a "problem" with another wedding. She says they're very strict on no candles AT ALL now and want me to switch to flameless, which I honestly think looks pretty cheesy and cheap.

Do I become Bridezilla and say it is printed in the contract that I can have candles and that's why I chose to book them? Do I go with flameless candles anyway and be flexible? Or do I waste money and switch my centerpieces all together? (which I REALLY can't afford)

By the way I already bought the centerpieces and candles and have specific details for my florist for my current candle lit centerpieces....

please HELP!

Re: 3 Months until the wedding and now I can't use candles!

  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    Just use flameless candles. If you're concerned about how the flame looks, toss them into frosted candle holders and call it a day.


  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Go with the flameless. If you can't return the original candles, maybe ask the venue if they can shave off a little of the price since you had to buy something else even after you signed a contrat with them. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I agree with PP go with flameless and ask venue to cut you a break since now you have to go get different candles which will be more expensive that what you had orginally planned and budget for.

    Yes it will look slightly different, but in the big picture, it will still look good.

  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh, I'm sorry. I agree with you about flameless candles. 

    You need to talk to the venue. Bring a copy of your contract and express your feelings calmly & reasonably, but be firm. If you have to take extra money out of your budget to purchase different candles, they need to compensate you with a discount to cover the expense. 

    And if you have to go with flameless candles (which you probably will) try not to sweat it. Put them in something pretty - it'll still offer a similar effect. And remember, ultimately, it's a minor detail. 
    image
  • since you already bought your centerpieces just switch out battery operated for real.

     

  • i do agree with you though-it's super dicky to go back on a contract.

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_3-months-until-the-wedding-and-now-i-cant-use-candles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:cd01ba08-4d8f-4239-817e-236efb599eb5Post:29fcef33-0bab-4987-8960-700c3ba1e73e">Re: 3 Months until the wedding and now I can't use candles!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ugh, I'm sorry. I agree with you about flameless candles.  You need to talk to the venue. Bring a copy of your contract and express your feelings calmly & reasonably, but be firm. If you have to take extra money out of your budget to purchase different candles, they need to compensate you with a discount to cover the expense.  And if you have to go with flameless candles (which you probably will) try not to sweat it. Put them in something pretty - it'll still offer a similar effect. And remember, ultimately, it's a minor detail. 
    Posted by ClaireyBee[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I 100% agree with this post. Good luck, be strong, and flameless candles will not look tacky - promise!

    </div>

  • I'd talk to the vendor about it. Ask what the incident was that caused the policy change so that you could avoid it best and since they are aware of the problem, they can also be aware of it.

    Ask them to give you a credit toward the candles that you already paid for.

    Annoying, but not the end of the world either, and at least you know in advance
    image image image

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  • I totally know how you feel. I asked about candles when I booked my venue, and they said yes too. I'm going for a romantic, dimmed lighting, candles at all of the tables kind of feel. My FMIL saw heart tea light holders and loved them and decided to get them (she knew we were allowed to use candles). She bought 36 of them! I was sooo excited, because they weren't expensive and it was going to be the perfect look. I had a meeting with the venue two weeks ago and THEN they mentioned that all candles have to be in at least a 1" holder. The hearts aren't that tall. So now I have 36 heart votives that I don't know what to do with. I still want to use them but I agree with you that the flameless just doesn't look the same.
    Sorry this isn't very helpful... just sharing in your disappointment.
  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I agree -- flameless are ugly.  While I wouldn't say be "bridezilla", I would fight for yourself and hold them to their contract.  It's not your fault the other wedding had issues with theirs.  Is there something you can do to the candles to prevent any issues from happening?  If they still won't budget, ask them to remove money from your final balance due to the additional money you have to spend.  Is there any way to "frost" the centerpieces you already have with the spray?


  • Don't they have insurance that will cover incidentals? There is a cool white candle that looks a bit more realistic when on. (Check amazon or eBay). Lamplust even has floating candles with the white light. (The amber glow just looks too fake to me. None of my real candles glow orange.) Flameless are not the same as the real glow. However, the big picture will be the same. I encountered a similar issue. I wish there were pics to easily find online of a gorgeous wedding/ reception where flameless candles were used in masse. I wish you the best.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Either rework your centerpieces so you won't need candles or buy flameless candles. There are some that look very realistic by Candle Impressions. We saw some in Pottery Barn that were indistinguishable from a real flame, unless you were less than a foot away. They were more expensive, though.

    Since it's going to cost you money to change your centerpieces, you should discuss it with the banquet manager.
                       
  • It depends on how important real candles are to you. If they aren't that important than the easier, less conflict ridden path is to just suck it up and get the flameless. I would still definitely fight for a reimbursement for the candles you have already bought. Now if they are really important to you, you are completely in the right to fight for them since it is in the contract and they can't just change the contract, that defeats the whole purpose of even signing a contract to begin with. And that wouldn't even be bridezilla of you because it's your right, as stated by what you and the venue agreed. Perhaps you can find out what the incident is and work out a compromise in order to avoid a similar situation.
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