Is it okay to not have a reception?

jtmh2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_okay-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:db526651-26d5-490e-9a37-1a664e604f58Post:5be804d7-a613-4f4b-9d07-d66d65b15719">Re: Is it okay to not have a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it okay to not have a reception? : So people are supposed to interrupt their day (quite possibly take off work), get dressed up, attend the wedding and then not even get a slice of cake?  That's not okay.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Perhaps I'm in a pissy mood today, but I really hate responses like this.  Are you going to the wedding to see someone you care about get married or are you going for the free food afterward?

jbwed1

OP - I completely understand the anxiety issue....I have quite a bit of anxiety around events of any sort (especially my own!) We are only inviting immediate family and my best friend and my fiance's best friend and wife. Keeping it small has minimized the anxiety I believe I would have otherwise. If I were you, I  would keep things simple - you can still have a beautiful wedding and have it be small. Go to dinner afterwards at a restaurant (which would take some pressure off of you.) Or have just a cocktail or cake and punch reception. There are alot of great ideas on this thread, just try not to get overwhelmed and plan slowly so you don't get too anxious It will all work out!

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_okay-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:db526651-26d5-490e-9a37-1a664e604f58Post:3f00a6b3-f51c-4b5d-b2c0-7ba349a95fdc">Re: Is it okay to not have a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it okay to not have a reception? : Thanks for welcoming me to the board!!! I know nothing about weddings. You act personally offended. I was just asking for information.
Posted by waterfalllady84[/QUOTE]

I'm not offended.  Just pointing out how it would look from a guest's point of view.

ETA  and FWIW, my reply wasn't even to you, it was to Jen F who said "just don't have a reception if you don't want one".

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_okay-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:db526651-26d5-490e-9a37-1a664e604f58Post:885bf201-b9b8-48c6-8a24-486c79d42004">Re: Is it okay to not have a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it okay to not have a reception? : Perhaps I'm in a pissy mood today, but I really hate responses like this.  Are you going to the wedding to see someone you care about get married or are you going for the free food afterward?
Posted by jtmh2012[/QUOTE]

You missed the point.  It's not about "free food".  It's about proper hosting and after a social event like a wedding, the least the couple can do is provide a light refreshment to their guests.

cpfwvu

In my mind, the point of a reception is an opportunity to say hello and spend some time with your guests. They should be there because they are happy for you - they will want to at least give you a hug and say congratulations. Maybe if you look at it as a chance to just chat with the friends and family who love and support you, you won't feel as anxious about it. Cake and punch was all a reception involved for years and years. You can have a receiving line where all the guests get a chance to say hello, then get their cake, eat it, and say goodbye. Or you can just make the rounds talking to people one-on-one. No first dances, toasts, bouquet tossing, etc. necessary. Just give them a chance to talk to you, even briefly. 

MeaghanandMichael

I have known Mrs B for a while and she would clearly be happy for any one who is married in any way so you can take your personal attack and focus on the real fact mostly every one is trying to convey. That point is to just have consideration for others you love and enjoy and offer them the chance to congratulate you and celebrate with you. A wedding is a social affair. An actual marriage can be a private one. If you don't want to have a wedding have a private marriage and move on. Call it semantics but most people would call it decent etiquette. No one is knocking either choice but with certain choices come certain responsibility.

cpfwvu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_okay-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:db526651-26d5-490e-9a37-1a664e604f58Post:1abf3f81-00e9-496b-b83e-07790e5ad8cc">Re: Is it okay to not have a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]cpfwvu, please read my post above. The reception is NOT for the bride and groom. It's for the guests, and is necessary in order to show appropriate hospitality to those who attended the wedding.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

I agree with you... maybe my point wasn't clear. Did I say it was just for the bride and groom? If so, that's not what I meant! Wedding guests deserve a chance to spend time the bride and groom to celebrate. You said it and I agree - guests are being received. It stems from the traditional "receiving line" where each guest was greeted and thanked by the couple. It would be disappointing to deny guests that opportunity. I was just trying to point out in a positive way that it doesn't have to be some kind of large affair where the bride and groom are on display. Hopefully most of the guests are people the B/G actually WANT to celebrate with and vice versa! Anyway, I don't think we're at odds here on what we were saying.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_okay-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:db526651-26d5-490e-9a37-1a664e604f58Post:f3ee6588-73d8-42c1-801c-1bf51565eb5c">Re: Is it okay to not have a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it okay to not have a reception? : I agree with you... maybe my point wasn't clear. Did I say it was just for the bride and groom? If so, that's not what I meant! Wedding guests deserve a chance to spend time the bride and groom to celebrate. You said it and I agree - guests are being received. It stems from the traditional "receiving line" where each guest was greeted and thanked by the couple. It would be disappointing to deny guests that opportunity. <strong>I was just trying to point out in a positive way that it doesn't have to be some kind of large affair where the bride and groom are on display.</strong> Hopefully most of the guests are people the B/G actually WANT to celebrate with and vice versa! Anyway, I don't think we're at odds here on what we were saying.
Posted by cpfwvu[/QUOTE]

I think that almost everyone here said that a reception doesn't have to be a large affair.  Almost every post said that a "cake and punch" reception in the church fellowship hall can be charming and personal.  I don't think that anyone told the OP that she had to have the big Wedding Industry Wedding Reception.

The only thing that people responded to were the people who have the very, very poor advice that it was fine to skip a reception if she didn't want one, because it's "theirrrrrrrrrrrrr dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy".

GL

cpfwvu

Oh my, I was not in any way trying to debate or argue with what other posters said! I didn't mean to imply that others weren't positive or that other people were suggesting a large reception. My main and only point in my post was that she should make some time to visit with her guests because they love her. Yes, redundant, but no poor reflection on other posts.