Oh Alcohol...

mjmchugh86

Please help me setting the debate with my and my mom. We are planning on hosting an open bar for the coctail hour, and then switching to beer and wine durring the reception. Should we include the option for guests to pay for hard alcohol during the reception? Say if someone starts the night with a G&T and does not want to switch over. Opinions please...

lyndausvi

I would just do beer and wine all night.  I think it's weird to get a vodka and soda then go back for the second and be charged.

6512Weaver

I would do beer and wine all night as well. 

HobokensFury

The switch a roo is not cool. Do beer and wine all night.

ZiggyZos

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:988866d1-ad30-4262-9bbe-55ff459b17f1">Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]Please help me setting the debate with my and my mom. We are planning on hosting an open bar for the coctail hour, and then switching to beer and wine durring the reception. Should we include the option for guests to pay for hard alcohol during the reception? Say if someone starts the night with a G&T and does not want to switch over. Opinions please...
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]

You should host whatever you can afford all night. Your guests should not have to open their wallets at all for anything.

If you don't offer gin and tonics to begin with, your guest isn't going to miss it so long as there is a selection of soft drinks, water, etc.. What happens when a guest offers to grab the next round because, you know, it's free on,y to order and be aked for money? How embarrassing is at when he has to start asking others to pony up their share.

Would you serve chicken and have lobster available only to those so can afford it for your meal? I would hope not.

Just host beer and wine all night if that's all you can afford.

AddieCake

Keep it the same all night. To change it up can be confusing and upsetting to your guests. 

mjmchugh86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:080fa797-8222-463b-9150-c98ed6a48cb8">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]Keep it the same all night. To change it up can be confusing and upsetting to your guests. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>More confusing than a cocktail hour without cocktails?</div>

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:c29e6dbd-68cf-4c47-a175-b104ca028f61">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : More confusing than a cocktail hour without cocktails?
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]


???

ZiggyZos

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:c29e6dbd-68cf-4c47-a175-b104ca028f61">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : More confusing than a cocktail hour without cocktails?
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]

Yes. Cocktails are not necessary for a cocktail hour. You just need refreshments and some munchies. Alcohol altogether is not necessary for a cocktail hour or wedding.

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:c29e6dbd-68cf-4c47-a175-b104ca028f61">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : More confusing than a cocktail hour without cocktails?
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]
Beer and wine are cocktails.

mjmchugh86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:b772f436-6d81-45ec-8550-9973d8af6f1a">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Yes. Cocktails are not necessary for a cocktail hour. You just need refreshments and some munchies. Alcohol altogether is not necessary for a cocktail hour or wedding.
Posted by ZiggyZos[/QUOTE]

<div>Im sorry...having a cocktail hour without alcohol is like having a wedding where no one gets married. You can have a reception without one, sure. But a cocktail hour? An hour where cocktails will be served? Yeah...don't think so. </div>

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:31ae6fa2-5e1d-4e15-aff4-9a497144a75d">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Im sorry...having a cocktail hour without alcohol is like having a wedding where no one gets married. You can have a reception without one, sure. But a cocktail hour? An hour where cocktails will be served? Yeah...don't think so. 
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]



Uh, having a cash bar (including cash for hard alcohol only) is like having a wedding where you charge admission to watch. Completely tacky and inappropriate.

Do beer and wine only all night or host an open bar all night. Offering more at cocktail hour than the rest of the night is not technically rude but it can confuse and annoy guests when the shift happens. Best to avoid that.

mjmchugh86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:28e7ecbc-e105-42d8-b718-6a74f6ed3093">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Uh, having a cash bar (including cash for hard alcohol only) is like having a wedding where you charge admission to watch. Completely tacky and inappropriate. Do beer and wine only all night or host an open bar all night. Offering more at cocktail hour than the rest of the night is not technically rude but it can confuse and annoy guests when the shift happens. Best to avoid that.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

<div>Wrong. Having a cash bar is like having a party where you charge for alcohol. Which I agree, totally rude.</div><div>
</div><div>Listen people, I'm totally against the cash bar idea. What I can't get over is that you all think it is appropriate to have a cocktail hour where you do not serve cocktails. Would you invite people over to a dinner party and then only serve hors d'oeuvors? No. That would be increadibly rude to your guests, and they would all be mad and leave hungry. You serve what you say you will serve. Same goes for not having cocktails at a cocktail hour. Its misleading to only serve beer and wine. Unless you are all advising me to skip cocktail hour all together, which I don't think you are. The word will be spread, I am sure, that there will be no hard alcohol at the reception, just as everyone knows were you are registered without having to advertise it. Is it ideal, no. But it is the best I can do within my budget. </div><div>
</div><div>Oh, and no, wine are beer are NOT cocktails. A cocktail is a mixed drink that contains alcohol. Mimosa, cocktail. Champange, not a cocktail</div>

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:ec5b32f6-d5fc-45c5-9310-7eb9e82e8649">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Wrong. Having a cash bar is like having a party where you charge for alcohol. Which I agree, totally rude. Listen people, I'm totally against the cash bar idea. What I can't get over is that you all think it is appropriate to have a cocktail hour where you do not serve cocktails. Would you invite people over to a dinner party and then only serve hors d'oeuvors? No. That would be increadibly rude to your guests, and they would all be mad and leave hungry. You serve what you say you will serve. Same goes for not having cocktails at a cocktail hour. Its misleading to only serve beer and wine. Unless you are all advising me to skip cocktail hour all together, which I don't think you are. The word will be spread, I am sure, that there will be no hard alcohol at the reception, just as everyone knows were you are registered without having to advertise it. Is it ideal, no. But it is the best I can do within my budget. 
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]
Nobody is saying not to have cocktails. They are saying just have beer and wine for both that time AND the reception. No, they are not "cocktails" by the true definition, but they are alcoholic beverages, and therefore suitable as "cocktails." I honestly doubt any of your guests would feel deceived. 

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:ec5b32f6-d5fc-45c5-9310-7eb9e82e8649">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Wrong. Having a cash bar is like having a party where you charge for alcohol. Which I agree, totally rude. Listen people, I'm totally against the cash bar idea. What I can't get over is that you all think it is appropriate to have a cocktail hour where you do not serve cocktails. Would you invite people over to a dinner party and then only serve hors d'oeuvors? No. That would be incredibly rude to your guests, and they would all be mad and leave hungry. You serve what you say you will serve. Same goes for not having cocktails at a cocktail hour. Its misleading to only serve beer and wine. Unless you are all advising me to skip cocktail hour all together, which I don't think you are. The word will be spread, I am sure, that there will be no hard alcohol at the reception, just as everyone knows were you are registered without having to advertise it. Is it ideal, no. But it is the best I can do within my budget. 
Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Then why in the hell did you post your question?</div><div>
</div><div>Beer and wine serve the same purpose as cocktails. You can have a cocktail hour with beer and wine alone. It is also legal and within etiquette to have an hors d'oeuvres hour with no alcohol at all. People (like me) will be pissed when they have a captain and coke or two at the cocktail hour, and then go back to the bar during dinner to tell me I can't have it anymore. These same people will understand when they go to a wedding where there is only beer and wine. </div><div>
</div><div>It's like setting down someone's plate and then snatching it up 5 minutes later and telling them they can't have it anymore. It's just not the right thing to do. Either cut costs somewhere, save some more money or cut it back the whole time.</div><div>
</div><div>Or whine and get defensive. That works too. </div>

SlothGoals

mrsbobfilson

i really tried hard to search the web for proper etiquette on this issue for you..i found this..i hope it helps you..

5. Cash Bars Don't Work
Boy, does this one bear repeating. Often. Cash bars at a wedding reception are just plain bad form. Most people don't carry cash to a wedding, so it's possible your guests will find themselves in a bind if they want something other than wine or beer - particularly at more formal evening receptions, where inevitably, someone will want a mixed drink. One of my recently married girlfriends and her husband shunned a DJ in favor of an I-Pod (a creative and worthy alternative to a band) in order to increase their alcohol budget. If budgetary constraints are an issue, consider combining the cash and open bar. Distribute drink tickets in the wedding invitations as part of the enclosures. Make it clear to your guests that after they exhaust their drink tickets, they will be expected to pay for their drinks.

ZiggyZos

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:0afccaef-0338-40db-951d-b5f2123adc8b">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]i really tried hard to search the web for proper etiquette on this issue for you..i found this..i hope it helps you.. 5. Cash Bars Don't Work Boy, does this one bear repeating. Often. Cash bars at a wedding reception are just plain bad form. Most people don't carry cash to a wedding, so it's possible your guests will find themselves in a bind if they want something other than wine or beer - particularly at more formal evening receptions, where inevitably, someone will want a mixed drink. One of my recently married girlfriends and her husband shunned a DJ in favor of an I-Pod (a creative and worthy alternative to a band) in order to increase their alcohol budget. If budgetary constraints are an issue, consider combining the cash and open bar. Distribute drink tickets in the wedding invitations as part of the enclosures. Make it clear to your guests that after they exhaust their drink tickets, they will be expected to pay for their drinks.
Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]

OP don't do this either. Drink tickets are rude and still require a cash bar for guests who want to continue drinking.

AddieCake

Ditto Ziggy. No drink tickets. No asking your guests to pay for anything, at any time, during the wedding, and no changing what's available to order. Just keep it the same all night, even if that means just beer and wine for cocktail hour. I repeat, your guests will not feel deceived that they didn't get ACTUAL cocktails (mixed drinks) during said hour. 

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:0afccaef-0338-40db-951d-b5f2123adc8b">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]i really tried hard to search the web for proper etiquette on this issue for you..i found this..i hope it helps you.. 5. Cash Bars Don't Work Boy, does this one bear repeating. Often. Cash bars at a wedding reception are just plain bad form. Most people don't carry cash to a wedding, so it's possible your guests will find themselves in a bind if they want something other than wine or beer - particularly at more formal evening receptions, where inevitably, someone will want a mixed drink. One of my recently married girlfriends and her husband shunned a DJ in favor of an I-Pod (a creative and worthy alternative to a band) in order to increase their alcohol budget. If budgetary constraints are an issue, consider combining the cash and open bar. <strong>Distribute drink tickets in the wedding invitations as part of the enclosures. Make it clear to your guests that after they exhaust their drink tickets, they will be expected to pay for their drinks.</strong>
Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]

Slams head on desk

Maggie0829

OP, you should serve the same type of drinks all night.  If you want to have a true cocktail hour, offer a signature drink.  This can constitute as you cocktail and then supplement the rest with beer and wine, soft drinks, iced tea, water, etc.  But just remember that signature drink should be made available all night along with the rest of your options.

But from my point of view and many people I know, a cocktail hour is where alcohol is served whether that be a true form of a cocktail made with liquor or just beer and wine.  As long as alcohol is involved then it is considered a cocktail hour, at least in my eyes.

harper0813

Imagine a guest's embarrassment if, having not seen the sign through the crowd that says "no cocktails after dinner", he/she orders a cocktail after dinner, the bartender says "Eight dollars, please," and he/she has to excuse him/herself to run back to the table to grab cash. Because that will happen, and that's never fun.

Jen4948

Whatever you decide to offer, you should keep it consistent throughout the evening and not charge your guests at any time. 

If you want to serve only beer and wine at your own expense throughout the evening, that's fine, as is a dry wedding.

But if you want to serve hard liquor, you need to pay for it throughout the evening-not limit its availability to those guests who are willing to pay for it.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:61d99904-f4eb-459e-bc84-ab7fb8a87b38">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]Imagine a guest's embarrassment if, having not seen the sign through the crowd that says "no cocktails after dinner", he/she orders a cocktail after dinner, the bartender says "Eight dollars, please," and <strong>he/she has to excuse him/herself to run back to the table to grab cash.</strong> Because that will happen, and that's never fun.
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

Or even worse, has to hand the drink back because he/she has no cash on her because if it were me I would have to give the drink back because I never carry cash to a wedding.

harper0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:a653f64f-d3b1-4041-9fad-5acbaa591923">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Or even worse, has to hand the drink back because he/she has no cash on her because if it were me I would have to give the drink back because I never carry cash to a wedding.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>I always, do, just in case, because cash bars in Wisco are so common. I never pack cash happily, though. And I never stay long at the wedding.</div>

winelover123

I don't think switching is technically rude (unless you charge the guests) but it's super confusing. I guess if you're determined to go this route, you'd have to have the bartender not make mixed drinks after cocktail hour and put signs up or something. Either way, do NOT charge your guests for anything.

And I guess I'm doing it wrong, since our cocktail hour will have beer, wine and soda. Pretty sure everyone will understand though that that hour is there to keep them occupied while FI and I and family do pictures.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:475c4d77-8c29-41eb-ba7f-6c112a0d6a0f">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : I always, do, just in case, because cash bars in Wisco are so common. I never pack cash happily, though. And I never stay long at the wedding.
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

I have been to a few weddings where they charged for mix drinks but I still refuse to bring cash.  If it is a complete cash bar then I will just drink water.  Cash bars irritate me to no end and I would rather be pissed and drink water then being pissed, drinking wine and out $4 or so bucks.

krispi921

If it is important to you to have cocktails at the cocktail hour, I second the recommendation to do beer, wine, and 1 or 2 signature drinks (which would be cocktails by your definition). You could make the signature drinks available all night and still save on your bar tab. 

dem068

I went to a wedding that had cocktails at cocktail hour in an outdoor space, then when we moved inside for dinner, we only had wine at the table (that was never replenished), and cash bar with everything else outside the main room (where everyone was sitting).  I definitely would have preferred just beer and wine the entire time, since it definitely caused some confusion when people came inside after cocktail hour (and we weren't even allowed to carry the drinks we had in our hands inside).   

At another wedding I went to, there was rumor going around that it was open bar for an hour, then changing to cash bar.  People literally camped out around the bar for the first hour and were watching the clock to see when they would be able to get their last free drink.  It ended up that the couple decided to change it to open bar the whole time at the last minute, but it didn't make for the best atmosphere at cocktail hour.  Just pick whatever is in your budget and stick to that the whole time.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:0afccaef-0338-40db-951d-b5f2123adc8b">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]i really tried hard to search the web for proper etiquette on this issue for you..i found this..i hope it helps you.. 5. Cash Bars Don't Work Boy, does this one bear repeating. Often. Cash bars at a wedding reception are just plain bad form. Most people don't carry cash to a wedding, so it's possible your guests will find themselves in a bind if they want something other than wine or beer - particularly at more formal evening receptions, where inevitably, someone will want a mixed drink. One of my recently married girlfriends and her husband shunned a DJ in favor of an I-Pod (a creative and worthy alternative to a band) in order to increase their alcohol budget. If budgetary constraints are an issue, consider combining the cash and open bar. Distribute drink tickets in the wedding invitations as part of the enclosures. Make it clear to your guests that after they exhaust their drink tickets, they will be expected to pay for their drinks.
Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]
Still giving out terrible advice, I see.

Viczaesar

OP, despite your vehemence, actual cocktails are NOT required of a cocktail hour.