Oh Alcohol...

MoxieMickie

In Response to Re:Oh Alcohol...:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol...:In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : Im sorry...having a cocktail hour without alcohol is like having a wedding where no one gets married. You can have a reception without one, sure. But a cocktail hour? An hour where cocktails will be served? Yeah...don't think so.nbsp;Posted by mjmchugh86

Then call it social hour instead. Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

This. This fascination with the effect of the vehicle for ethanol is giving me flashbacks to postmodern classes in college and analyzing the exact article used in the subject's articulation.

Summer2011Bride

Yeah beer and wine are totally sufficient for cocktail hour. Technically alcohol is not required at all and you could just call it social hour or say it is refreshments. Don't get hung up on semantics. You should be getting hung up on how your guests will fee.

Like others have said, I shouldn't have to pay for a drink at 7:00 that I got for free at 5:00. That's awkward and embarrassing, especially if the guest has no cash on them and has to give the drink back. Or if you don't let mixed drinks be available later in the evening, and I have been drinking Screwdrivers all night, I expect a Screwdriver to still be an option when I go for one later.

Also, I have been to weddings where a sign was posted that there was only open bar between certain hours. The line was horrendously long and people were ordering 4, 5 drinks at a time and stockpiling them so they could get them while they were free and drink them later. It didn't save the B&G any money.

Jtownsend3414

I'm getting married in about 6 months and alcohol is something we are trying to figure out. The place I'm getting married at has a full service bar so we are thinking of just offering beer, wine and 2 signature cocktails (his and hers kind of thing) and then if our guests don't want what we have to offer them then they'll have to pay. We'll have a few signs through out, perhaps even listed in the program, So the guests arent surprised when they get to the bar and order something other than our drinks and have to pay. This might not work for your situation if you have to actually bring a "bar" into the venue and stock it.

AdeleDazeem

The hang up on the word "cocktail" here is killing me.  I have literally never thought "well, this is a damn cocktail hour - get that wine away from me and bring me tequila!"

Don't overthink, OP.

And Jtownsend?  What you are doing is exactly what we're talking the OP OUT of doing.  Read the thread again.  Host what you can afford all night long.  Don't offer other options.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:072d1240-456f-49d8-beb7-6d803b0565d4">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting married in about 6 months and alcohol is something we are trying to figure out. The place I'm getting married at has a full service bar so <strong>we are thinking of just offering beer, wine and 2 signature cocktails (his and hers kind of thing) and then if our guests don't want what we have to offer them then they'll have to pay.</strong> We'll have a few signs through out, perhaps even listed in the program, So the guests arent surprised when they get to the bar and order something other than our drinks and have to pay. This might not work for your situation if you have to actually bring a "bar" into the venue and stock it.
Posted by Jtownsend3414[/QUOTE]

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arrippa

I'd hate it if I was drinking a G&T (my summer drink) and then was told that they were offering only beer and wine afterwards. For me personally, I hate changing the kind of alcohol I am drinking. If I start drinking G&T, then I hate changing to beer or wine. For some reason, it makes me feel worse the next day.

There is nothing wrong with only serving beer and wine through out the reception. Also to echo everyone else, please don't even give your guests the option of opening their wallet for something.

ElcaB

I agree with PPs on this one. I'd suggest only offering beer or wine all night. 

Andama08

I disagree. My FI and I are having a cash bar because it isn't in our budget. We aren't going to chop our guest list in half to get people drunk. We debated about not having a bar at all but we decided people would much rather have alcohol available with the option to pay themselves then not have alcohol at all. If you don't want to celebrate with me because I'm not paying for alcohol I could care less if you come or not.

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:28e7ecbc-e105-42d8-b718-6a74f6ed3093">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : <strong>Uh, having a cash bar (including cash for hard alcohol only) is like having a wedding where you charge admission to watch. Completely tacky and inappropriate.</strong> Do beer and wine only all night or host an open bar all night. Offering more at cocktail hour than the rest of the night is not technically rude but it can confuse and annoy guests when the shift happens. Best to avoid that.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:51f842c3-891c-4f7d-8d41-a237fcd45db3">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree. My FI and I are having a cash bar because it isn't in our budget. We aren't going to chop our guest list in half to get people drunk. We debated about not having a bar at all but we decided people would much rather have alcohol available with the option to pay themselves then not have alcohol at all. If you don't want to celebrate with me because I'm not paying for alcohol I could care less if you come or not. n Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... :
Posted by Andama08[/QUOTE]

<div>This is horribly rude.  The fact that you are doing it doesn't make it less rude.</div><div>
</div><div>You can do this all you want, but don't try to pretend that it is acceptable or try to convince other people to join with you in being rude.  </div><div>
</div><div>Trying to turn it around on your guests and blaming them if they are offended by your rude behavior is just terrible.    </div>

julie650

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:51f842c3-891c-4f7d-8d41-a237fcd45db3">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree. My FI and I are having a cash bar because it isn't in our budget. We aren't going to chop our guest list in half to get people drunk. We debated about not having a bar at all but we decided people would much rather have alcohol available with the option to pay themselves then not have alcohol at all. If you don't want to celebrate with me because I'm not paying for alcohol I could care less if you come or not. n Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... :
Posted by Andama08[/QUOTE]
I agree with you. As a guest, I would be irritated that "because of etiquette" I am limited in my options and I'm not able to buy a drink that I want...especially if there are other options avilable to me anyways. I'm in the party of thinking that if a guest is really that in to themselves that they would be pissed about not getting free alcohol than they have separate issues because that isn't what the day is about. Etiquette is a guideline...not a rule. To follow it blindly without understanding your particular social circle is just silly. And if this actually puts a damper on a guest's day than good riddance.

ZiggyZos

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:2955c364-cc2f-499b-a9e9-60b628228305">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : I agree with you. As a guest, I would be irritated that "because of etiquette" I am limited in my options and I'm not able to buy a drink that I want...especially if there are other options avilable to me anyways. I'm in the party of thinking that if a guest is really that in to themselves that they would be pissed about not getting free alcohol than they have separate issues because that isn't what the day is about. Etiquette is a guideline...not a rule. To follow it blindly without understanding your particular social circle is just silly. And if this actually puts a damper on a guest's day than good riddance.
Posted by julie650[/QUOTE]

It isn't about "being so into themselves that they are pissed about not getting free alcohol" - its about being invited to an event by so end else, who is supposed to be acting as the host, and then not being properly hosted.

Weddings do not require alcohol. So if you cannot afford to host it all night for every guest, don't host it. And don't have it available.

Will you be allowing guests to purchase lobster for dinner if they aren't satisfied with your entree choices? Because that is essentially what you're doing by having a cash bar (we're giving you chicken, but you can buy lobster if you want... Or we're hosting soda and tea, but you can buy liquor if you want). What about the people who can't afford the lobster (or liquor)? Sucks to be them?

That's a great attitude to have towards your guests. <--- sarcasm

julie650

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:548124a2-f23d-47db-9633-0ae6b63dc5a0">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : It isn't about "being so into themselves that they are pissed about not getting free alcohol" - its about being invited to an event by so end else, who is supposed to be acting as the host, and then not being properly hosted. Weddings do not require alcohol. So if you cannot afford to host it all night for every guest, don't host it. And don't have it available. Will you be allowing guests to purchase lobster for dinner if they aren't satisfied with your entree choices? Because that is essentially what you're doing by having a cash bar (we're giving you chicken, but you can buy lobster if you want... Or we're hosting soda and tea, but you can buy liquor if you want). What about the people who can't afford the lobster (or liquor)? Sucks to be them? That's a great attitude to have towards your guests. <--- sarcasm
Posted by ZiggyZos[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I see what you are saying...however this is very dependant on your social circle. For example, if I were to do this, no one would have an issue financially and that is a fact. They would be more dissapointed that it wasn't available as an option at all. Also, people have suggested that they can go elsewhere for alcohol, like a bar in another area in the venue...how is this any different? Your guests are still buying drinks and that variation is still there...however you're making them walk somewhere else, to me, that is rude. Any party you throw is going to have slight variations depending on who it is being thrown for. For example, my friend had a wedding outdoors at a barn with a buffet, pies made by family, beer/wine, etc and it was a wonderful wedding and everyone had a great time. Now if my other friend were to throw the same wedding, her guests would have been completely apalled. This type of reception would not be anywhere close to what she could have. Social circles are different, to put one rule on every party is not a good idea...certain etiquette is not a done deal, to follow it blindly would sure be easy, but definitely not practical.</div><div>
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Andama08

This!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_oh-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f00e1981-0155-4e7f-b1dd-106f8e8d2a93Post:01b89b61-c6d9-41ee-9428-512a3acd9c76">Re: Oh Alcohol...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh Alcohol... : I see what you are saying...however this is very dependant on your social circle. For example, if I were to do this, no one would have an issue financially and that is a fact. <strong>They would be more dissapointed that it wasn't available as an option at all.</strong> Also, people have suggested that they can go elsewhere for alcohol, like a bar in another area in the venue...how is this any different? Your guests are still buying drinks and that variation is still there...however you're making them walk somewhere else, to me, that is rude. Any party you throw is going to have slight variations depending on who it is being thrown for. For example, my friend had a wedding outdoors at a barn with a buffet, pies made by family, beer/wine, etc and it was a wonderful wedding and everyone had a great time. Now if my other friend were to throw the same wedding, her guests would have been completely apalled. This type of reception would not be anywhere close to what she could have. <strong>Social circles are different, to put one rule on every party is not a good idea...certain etiquette is not a done deal, to follow it blindly would sure be easy, but definitely not practical.</strong>
Posted by julie650[/QUOTE]

ashleyep

I'm torn on this. I, personally, don't really see the big deal with a cash bar. If you host a fundraiser or some other event at anywhere that's not your home, it's probably going to have a cash bar. I've been to plenty where it's been open bar during cocktail hour and then switched to cash. And for the extra $4K lots of these places charge to have an open bar all night instead of 1 hour, I completely understand. If etiquette says that you're supposed to spread the word around about registries rather than printing it in the invite, then you can just as easily spread the work about a cash bar or put it on your website.

I think I would also rather have the option to pay for a cocktail than be limited. I'll drink the wine, but my fiance doesn't really like beer or wine and would like to be able to get a jack and coke. Same with other family members. 

But I think that having a full open bar during cocktail hour and then switching to only beer and wine is very confusing. 

And if you don't want to come to my wedding because it's not open bar, then all the better. One less plate of food I have to pay for.

acanon526

I agree with PP about 1-2 signature cocktails. We will be having cocktail hour with beer, wine, and 1 signature cocktail (my fiancé is a huge bourbon man, and our mixologist/bartender friend has come up with a delicious blood orange, bourbon concoction). If people don't like the 1 cocktail, they can stick with beer and wine!