Not feeling much like bride..

Jules1112

Good morning ladies, I know some of you has posted about this in the past so i figured you'd have advice or encouraging words. Lately I just haven't felt like a bride. This will be my second marriage, my FI first, andi feel like its nothing to some people. Mainly my family who made comments about how they different think I'd need another shower, maybe i don't NEED another one, def not a traditional one but if still like something... I tried to just let it go but everyone at work is asking about it and days they want to come and is asking for me to give me sister and bf their info so they'll invite them. I also decided in the beginning I wasn't going to go the traditional route with BM dresses, I would shop with them and find cute dresses in normal store they liked anda long as they matchedI would be fine, I an even buying them! Yet i feel like a bother to my sister when I ask her to look... My sister is great Dont get me wrong, I just feel like no one cares that I'm getting married and happier than I've ever been. Sorry this is so long ladies, I just really needed to vent and dont know who else to talk to. Thanks for listening!

minionlover

I completely understand how you feel. This is a second wedding for both FI and I and sometimes I don't feel bride-like either. My parents pretend that everything is exciting and sometimes I feel like they only do things for us to be nice not because they actually want to. And family that a whole story too. I am the same as you with the whole shower thing. I don't know if anyone will do one for me since it's my second wedding, but just a little lunch with some people would be nice. I don't even want any gifts. I guess I just try not to think about it too much. I can't change people's perception of the wedding. I just keep looking forward to the wedding and know that I am marrying the manif my dreams.

venus909

I'm right there as well.  My family seems to pretend to be excited.   Actually they try to not bring the wedding up at all!  Out of the 70 or so family members I invited on my side only 6 are coming.. 7 including my mom.  I didn't have a big wedding the first time around (we just got married at the court house) so it's not like I did this before but I guess since I was married and I have three kids it isn't a big deal to them. 

As for the shower, the same thing...  I have no idea what they are doing.  I really just wanted my family to be happy that finally I have a good man in  my life that takes care of me and my kids. 

I really don't have much advice, as I'm not even sure I'm dealing with it well.  But I just try to ignore the comments or lack of excitement.  I surround myself with FI's family who are super thrilled and excited.  Which amazes me because this is his 2nd wedding... his first had 300 people!  But they really like me and are happy we are getting married...  That makes me feel great.  Maybe if you surround yourself with people that are genuinely happy it will help.

Sorry I'm not much help, but just know that you are not alone.

deanozzi

I am right there with you too, this is our 2nd time planning our wedding. We did a last minute postponement 8 years ago.

My estranged grandmother even made a comment how she hopes we actually go thorough with it this time. And it was not meant to be funny or a joke on her end.

Really made me feel like crap since the decision we made 8 years ago was one of the hardest decisions that both my FI and I had to make (but one of the best).

Jules1112

It does make me feel a lot better that i'm not alone in this feeling... And my family is excited about the wedding itself. They can't wait to go to Jamaica itself, its just everything else they don't seem to care about. Thank you for showing me i'm not the only one... I just don't know how to shaker this feeling and I don't want to say anything, ugh I guess I just have to get over it! And Cathy I feel the same way about a shower. It doesn't have to be anything crazy a nice lunch would've been perfect. I don't care about gifts, I just want to feel special for a few hours! Lol. I'm sorry you ladies are going through the same thing

BMcLeodTeam

Sorry that you're feeling this way. We've had so much going on with family drama that I feel like my wedding has been back burned by everyone as 'so far away', even when I need them to do something. I want to buy accessories for my mother's dress as a surprise to her, however she hasn't even started looking for one, and when I bring it up I get the 'there are more important things to worry about' vibe from her everytime.

jtoly

Your not alone, but I hid mine from people until right before I left. The only thing I can say is I felt amazing on the day of my wedding. Even though We didn't have people with us, everyone who I saw, including other brides, guests at the hotel, even people on the streets that saw me in my dress, congratulated me and made me feel special. The most important person that made me feel like a bride was DH, as soon as he saw me he said "you look beautiful", and that was all I needed to hear. I obviously didn't have a shower and am not having a party or anything like that but I'm hoping that when I see people they at least acknowledge that I got married!