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October 2012 Weddings

Vent

FI had warned me long before I met her that his SIL was a complete b!tch, but I didn't really take it to heart...until recently. I cannot understand what is wrong with her that makes her act so obnoxiously! We were over at their house for a belated birthday party for her eldest daughter/ mother's day get together and she screamed at everyone. She even made my FMIL cry- on mother's day- because she said that her daughter's acting out was all her fault. FMIL had done nothing but give her grandkids love and hugs, and she is honestly the sweetest woman ever. To do that at all is horrendous, to do it on Mother's day is unfathomable.

FI had asked his brother if he would be okay with his daughters being our flowergirls, and his brother and SIL said yes. This was back in November. They knew the date, they knew the dress, they knew the store, and they knew the exact cost because I had been exceedingly careful in getting all the details and making sure they would be okay with it all before they made a decision. Then, I emailed SIL in March to just remind her of those details, making sure that it was all still ok and she said yes. Then I emailed her to let her know that the order by date was fast approaching and that other girls had all ordered and that the color was being discontinued. She sends back this overly sarcastic email stating how she's soooo glad that we all have so much time on our hands that we could all get in and get ordered, but she's sooo busy that she's just not going to even try until August because she has no plans to do alterations.

I know I'm not wording it in such a way that really conveys how bad her email was. But I even had FI read it without my saying anythng about it and he, the most mellow and level-headed guy I've ever met, even said "Wow! What a b!tch!".

I would love to be able to buy the dresses for them, but we can't afford it, even though they're definitely at the cheaper end of the scale at $95.46/ per w/tax. And they live on the other side of the state, so it's not like we can take the girls in to get measured ourselves. I made it clear to FI that I will absolutely not be communicating with her again, no matter what. That kind of passive hostility towards someone she barely knows is so uncalled for, especially when I've been nothing but polite and patient. I almost want to say to her "F you, forget about it then", but that wouldn't be fair to their daughters who are really looking forward to it. It'll be a damned shame if she can't get her act together and let them participate, but at least they'll still be there on the day- flowergirls or not.

I wish I could justify her nastiness, but I can't. She's a teacher, but so is my mom and my sister and my dad before he retired. I get it. They can be really busy. But the year ends next week. Surely she could get them in end of June or early July. To say she's not even going to TRY until August baffles me. And I wish I could say it's the cost that's the hang up, but even that doesn't make sense. The woman just had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck because she felt like it-- not needed it. They ordered two huge bouncy castles for her daughter's birthday. Either they're really irresponsible with money, or they have plenty. Even if they had set aside $5 a week since we asked them in November, they'd have more than enough now.

Arg!!!

Sorry. I just really needed to get this out. Thanks for reading through that mess :)
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Ovarian cyst lapro: '01, '04, '09 Conal biopsy: '01- results negative Dilation: '03 for cervical scarring Pcos test: '05, FSH and LH normal Mirena removed July '12 My Ovulation Chart

Re: Vent

  • That is frustrating, but maybe you could compromise and find a cheaper dress.  I think $100 is a bit much to spend on a little dress she will out-grow.  We found ours at JCP for $20.  I know that option may not be the dress you were invisioning, but it might be worth it not to have this escalate...  Good luck!

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  • That would be fine, but I don't think it's the dress. I think she just has a problem with everyone. If cost was an issue, I wish she'd said something any of the 4 times I asked her. And she certainly isn't a person that has any problem saying "no". I honestly wouldn't be at all offended if the money was an issue, and would be very flexible with finding another alternative. But for her to respond toward me in such a manner was just unnecessary. There were at least a dozen better differrent ways for her to voice her concerns. She took the crappy, b!tchy route and I really didn't appreciate it.

    It doesn't matter. Either she gets the dresses or doesn't. Whichever way she goes, it ultimately will not affect our day. At the end, we'll be married. That's all that matters.
    image
    Ovarian cyst lapro: '01, '04, '09 Conal biopsy: '01- results negative Dilation: '03 for cervical scarring Pcos test: '05, FSH and LH normal Mirena removed July '12 My Ovulation Chart
  • I agree that she went about it the wrong way, and I think you have a great perspective that she can't ruin your day.  I'm sure she is doing it to be b%tch, but another thought may be that she is worried about her daughter having a growth spurt in between.  It might work out best for her to find something right before.  Regardless, I would let her continue to complain, but keep her daughter as the FG, whether she is wearing something new or not, because I'm sure it's very important to that little girl!  Good luck!

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  • Wow. I'm really hurt now. I hadn't even responded to FSIL's email, and she had FI's brother call him to tell me to back off! I didn't even do anything! It feels like this chic has got it out for me and I have NO idea why. WTF makes someone act like this?!?
    image
    Ovarian cyst lapro: '01, '04, '09 Conal biopsy: '01- results negative Dilation: '03 for cervical scarring Pcos test: '05, FSH and LH normal Mirena removed July '12 My Ovulation Chart
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