vent engagement party

melisal07

so my fi and i have been together for 5 years got engaged on thanksgiving getting married 10/27/12 and noone has offered to throw us and engagement party eventhough neither sides of the family and friends have met eachother i'm not sure what to do i have a feeling the reception might be really awkward and yet my sister got engaged this month and is getting married in september and she is getting an engagement party my mom is hosting next month.

SteveAndSara2005

hmm I would probably feel a little strange and jealous too if my mom hosted one for my sister but not me, have you talked to your mom about it?  Maybe your sister asked her to have one? If I were you I wouldn't let it bother you, because if you do it could cause problems between you and your sister in the future.

melisal07

thanks I'm going to talk to my mom about possibly doing a potluck bbq at her house i don't want anything fancy i just want everyone to have a chance to meet before the wedding.

missmckenzie2

I think that if it is upset you, just get to the heart of the matter and either ask someone to have it at their host. Or just host it yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking your family and friends all over for a BBQ at the same time to get to know each other.

fishinflagrl

At first I thought it was silly you were upset until you said your mom threw your sister one. I really would be hurt then. We didnt have an engagement party mainly b/c I didnt really want one and FI and I have been together for over 5 years when we got engaged (hence why at first I didnt think you should be upset). Has your sister not been with this guy for very long maybe? Either way, I would be hurt and def would talk to your mom about the BBQ potluck. Good luck!

music11

What PP's said--at first, it didn't seem like a big deal, but if they're throwing your sister one, that would be kind of hurtful.  Have a heart to heart with your mom.

jonesma204

Agree with PP, go right to the source and just talk about it with your mom...

BrittneyRN

You could talk to your mom, but please don't throw your own engagement party. It seems very gift grabby. I would probably just let it go. You guys have already been engaged for 7 months, and are getting married 4 months, it seems like an odd time for an engagement party. If you want to host a get together for both sides, that'd be fun, just don't call it an engagement party. Lots of brides don't have them.

Simply_Caitlin

Yeah I'm going to have to agree with everyone, talk to your mom.  You don't want to be holding this in and having it turn to resentment.  Maybe she couldn't do it back when you first got engaged, maybe it was a weird oversight.  Who knows.

I agree though, you can host your own party, it doesn't have to be an "engagement party" just a get together so the families can meet.  We didn't have an engagement party and we couldn't afford to do a party so the families can meet, so they basically haven't.  Our parents have met and that's pretty much it.  If you guy can swing it, definitely go for it.

melisal07

yea we aren't doing it for gifts we just want a chance for even just our parents to meet but his dad is antisocial and neither of his parents like me. but i want to atleast give them the opportunity to meet they haven't even had that choice my sister and her fi have been together for over two years my family has done several things with his family like going camping and what not so yea for my mom and cousin to put on a party for them is really frustrating to me.

kimm260

I can understand your frustration and feeling hurt because your mom is throwing a shower for your sister and her FI and not you and yours.

Definetly let her know how you are feeling but I wouldn't ask her to host one for you.  Just have a big backyard bar b que for all of your family.  You can invite everyone you want and do it as a pot luck, and if they don't come that is not on you and they can't say you didn't try to get your families together. 


Our parents have met each other and my sister has met my fbil but we each have other family members that haven't met.  We are having a little get together this weekend at our house for our immediate families.  If a pot luck doesn;t work, could you do something like this?

minionlover

Just have a get together of your own. Don't call it an engagement party though. I think that it's kind of strange for you or your sister to have an engagement party this close to your weddings anyway.

AEPerpete

I think it's odd that they would throw one for your Sister and not you, but as some people have mentioned, it seems like an odd time to be thrown an E party as well...so far from the engagment and so close to the wedding.I would talk to your Mom about why she chose to do one for your Sister and not you.

Also, maybe you could invite your immediate family for dinner (at a neutral place, like yours, or a resuraunt if you don't live away from parents) and that way they can meet properly.

Good Luck!

ewithnell

I would be a little hurt too, but I agree with everyone else in that you should talk with your mom, or just throw your own. We didn't have an engagement party and my FI's brother just got engaged, so I'm kind of hoping that they don't throw them an engagement party, but at the same time, I'm excited and happy for them, so I wouldn't mind it. I guess it just depends on the day if I'm feeling crazy or not haha 

TheSlowskys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_vent-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:814d4133-074d-4708-bd54-e03413d7a058Post:1a361864-b958-4c84-8744-f5f18589d490">Re: vent engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]You could talk to your mom, but please don't throw your own engagement party. It seems very gift grabby. I would probably just let it go. You guys have already been engaged for 7 months, and are getting married 4 months, it seems like an odd time for an engagement party. If you want to host a get together for both sides, that'd be fun, just don't call it an engagement party. Lots of brides don't have them.
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]

THIS.

Do not throw an engagement party. My guess is she didn't throw one because you got engaged right around the holidays and there was enough other stuff going on.  I don't see the point of an engagement party so close to the wedding and so far away from the actual engagement.