questions

jenny&will2014

-Those of you who are getting no help financially from others to pay for the wedding are you giving your parents gifts? Or is that as a thank you for helping fund the wedding?
-Did you send actual invites to your vendors for rehearsal dinner/reception or just email/call them and ask if and how many were coming?
-Are you giving your vendors monetary tips or something else? (ie for every meeting I met my officiant at scooters so thought gc would be better)
-For those of you who do not have attendants who is "in charge" of making sure the vendors get their money?
-for those of you who wrote your own vows but didnt memorize them what are you writing them on to read them at the wedding?

I'm sure I will have more but TIA for the help!

mlperkins12

FI and I are paying for the wedding ourself.  We are still giving our parents small gifts, it's more of a token of thanks for all that they have done for us over the years.  We also put their names on the invitation, which was something I felt strongly about regardless of who was paying.

I made an electronic invitation to the RD for our WP.  We are not having any outside vendors.
Our vendors all own their own businesses.  In the case of our limo, the gratuity was built into the contract, same with our venue.  Fortunately we will not need to give out any cash tips. We will just need to give the DJ his final payment at the wedding, my sister (MOH) will be taking care of that.

We didn't write our own vows, so I can't be much help there.

mpjf1001

1- We got partial help from my parents- big cash wedding gift in advance, my mom is paying for my dress, hair/makeup, nails, stamps, etc....FI's mom is going to try and pay for our HM but they are paying for the rehearsal dinner- so we are getting them all parent albums via our photographer
2- we didnt send invites to our vendors, they have all the details, that is a waste of $
3- tipping DJ and mait're d, everyone else owns their own business so not tipping them- and yes monetary gifts except for our pianist and singer/violinist we are giving them either a GC or coach wristlet (the singer is our friend)
4- we have GM so i am having my brother in law pay for the tolls for the limo company and tip the DJ; you could have parents do it or a close friend that you trust
5- sorry cant help on the vows but im sure index cards are fine

schnugglebug

FI has never heard of parents gifts etc...he said they don't nor never have done them in his family/friends etc... culture (he is Quebecois French) ... SO we are not doing that

I gave my MOH and BM a small gift and something for the flower girls, and ring bearer... up to him if he is going to get him GM anything....
We are paying for the wedding on our own
All our vendors etc, have their own buisnesses so we are not tipping... might give my photographer might get a bit but that is cause I am rounding the total up to an even number...

Our Dj is doing it as a favor, so we are going to get him a little something or a GC... not sure yet... less than 2 weeks to decide LOL that is FI's JOB!!! lol

minionlover

1. We are paying for everything but staying at my parents house the week before the wedding.  We are going to give both parents a small gift.

2.  We are not having a RD but you don't have to invite your vendors to the RD either.  The only one that you might invite is the officiant.

3.  I don't plan on giving tips to anyone except maybe our coordinator at the venue.

4.  We are having a BP but we are "in charge" of paying the vendors.  That is no one else's responsibility especially since we are paying for everything.

5.  We are not writing our own vows.

ericaandtom2012

1.  Parent gifts are not a "thanks for helping pay for the wedding" gift, they're a "thanks for putting in all the effort to raise me and support me" gift.  You should give your parents a gift of your appreciation, even if it's small.

2. We're behind and haven't done anything with our RD yet.  We're not including any vendors at the rehearsal.  For the reception, I still need to call and ask their meal preference.  They do not get sent an invitation.

3. We're tipping with cash, mostly because we don't know our vendors well enough to buy something else.

4. I would say your DOC or someone associated with the venue. If neither, I think I would ask my dad (or someone else trustworthy and close to me) to handle the tips.

5.  I'd write them on a 3x5 note-card.

mana8503

1. No parents gifts.  They would rather have albums of the wedding for christmas.  FI and I aren't even exchanging... I told him he's getting me, that's his gift! 

2. I emailed them asking their food choice.  I did sent an invite to the pastor for the wedding since he's a family friend, and we invited his wife.  No RD invites, just emails.

3. I'm tipping the bartenders, and I'm giving pastor a TY card with a check.  He's went above and beyond for us, and we got a lot out of our sessions.  The rest of the vendors owe their business so tips aren't expected.

4. supposely the BM is in charge, but I might let my parents do it.

5. No vows... just following the pastor's lead.

catwine

1. our parents are paying for 90% of our wedding but I haven't put too much thought into a gift  for them all.  we will likely do a small wedding album. I think you can still give them gifts if you are paying for your own wedding becuase it';s kind of a "thanks for raising me and supporting this marriage"

2.we did not send an invite to our DJ  but did for our photographer because she and her partner are eating during dinner. we aren't doing a RD so didn't send invites to anyone.

3. i don't plan on "tipping" the vendors becuase it seems kind of unessacary.

4. i'm paying all my vedors in advance of the wedding day.

5. i'm probably just writng them on a piece of paper and having one of my BMs hold it until I'm ready.

jenny&will2014

Okay soooo if your officiant, readers, musicians  etc are at your rehearsal and your dinner is at the same place, how is that not awkward to not invite them? I am confused sorry

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:889b0c99-bb59-4d92-8da3-9073732d1e53Post:9a334004-d69a-455c-939e-74f30f7f7150">questions</a>:
[QUOTE]-Those of you who are getting no help financially from others to pay for the wedding are you giving your parents gifts? Or is that as a thank you for helping fund the wedding? -Did you send actual invites to your vendors for rehearsal dinner/reception or just email/call them and ask if and how many were coming? -Are you giving your vendors monetary tips or something else? (ie for every meeting I met my officiant at scooters so thought gc would be better) -For those of you who do not have attendants who is "in charge" of making sure the vendors get their money? -for those of you who wrote your own vows but didnt memorize them what are you writing them on to read them at the wedding? I'm sure I will have more but TIA for the help!
Posted by jenny&will2014[/QUOTE]

1) I think the parents' gifts are for their love & support over the years.  I will probably do something small, a letter to them, and then photo albums after.
2) I believe FMIL is making invites for them too. 
3) I haven't thought of it, but I wouldn't make our BP pay people.  It will either be us or the DOC.
4) We are having our vows written down and we will read them to one another.  This is what our pastor said is normal.

tristalwedding

1.  Both sets of parents are helping us out in a major way.  We are giving  them each an 8x10 picture from our engagement photos and it was the one that I noted that both mothers gushed over.  We are also compiling a photobook via shutterfly of the wedding and other wedding related things for them as gifts.  We would have gotten them something even if they hadn't been able to help us out just because we are super close with our parents and would want to thank them for helping us out in other areas of our lives.

2.  We invited our officiant and his wife to the RD because they are good friends of ours as well.

3.  After reading this thread and wondering about tipping the caterer that owns her own business, I'm not tipping.  The bartender is going to have a tip jar though. All of our other vendors will have been paid off by the date-we only have the DJ and the transport left and I'm handling those payments 2 days before the wedding.

4.  We tailored our vows together and gave them to our officiant so he can help us out with that aspect.