Please help me before I make a huge mistake!

Bronzebrunette78

I've always suffered from clinical depression and anxiety, and a touch of OCD, but this wedding has me ramped up in overdrive. I'm completely overwhelmed and emotionally unstable from the stress of planning this wedding. It wouldn't be so bad if I had the support of family and friends, and my fiancé, but I don't. I have a very estranged relationship with my parents these days, my bridesmaids are all wrapped up in their own lives (understandably so), and my poor fiancé works seven days a week! I am obsessing over every decision and ever penny spent and I'm feeling all alone. To make matters worse, I feel guilty asking my fiancé to help with the planning.......he commutes to work an hour away five days a week, and on his two other days, he waits tables doing double shifts both days. He's busting his ass.....and I can feel my resentment growing. Please help! I feel myself falling apart and I'm scared it's gonna send him flying in the other direction! I'm taking my antidepressant and antianxiety meds, but it's getting overwhelming. I hate the person I'm becoming. I bust my ass working as a registered nurse, and when I'm not at the hospital I am planning, researching, trying out all sorts of ideas. All I want to do is be married to this man I love, but I fear my behavior is going to tear us apart. I don't know what to do!

pockysquirrel

You mention meds, but you don't mention therapy. If you're not seeing someone for counseling right now, start looking for one IMMEDIATELY. A good therapist can help you build up your coping skills, learn to manage your stress and symptoms, and give you someplace to vent besides at your fiance. You might also ask your fiance to attend some of your counseling sessions with you, so he can gain more understanding of your illness and how you've been feeling/acting lately.

Also, if the planning itself is that overwhelming, consider simplifying your wedding plans or hiring a coordinator to help you out.

ReyesToy

Sorry to hear the planning has been so stressful. Hire a coordinator...I've heard from so many people that it's the best money they had spent for the whole wedding. I know they can be pricey but check out craigslist!

One of my friends was so overwhelmed with the wedding planning that she cancelled it and they went on a "weddingmoon" instead. They got married (just her and FI) at their honeymoon location...she wore her original dress, their hotel provided them a nice romantic dinner by the beach, and a little white wedding cake. It was beautiful and stress-free. Then they just hosted a dinner at a restaurant back home for close friends and family. As far as I know, none of her guests were offended and they all understood.

Good luck to you! Hope it gets better. 

Creyo

Go talk to your fi asap. That is what the marriage thing is about. You're gonna need to be able to lean on him and when he has problems he can lean on you. Trust me, as a girl w/ experience, if you love him let him be there for you. Even if you're embarrised, overwhelmed, or anything he loves you and wouldn't be marrying you if he didn't want to be there for you.

sarahperhaps

I'm going to echo what previous posters have said. If you're not currently seeing a therapist, I'd recommend starting to do that ASAP. You would have the chance to talk about your concerns and get very important support for your depression and anxiety. I think it would also be helpful to let your fiance know that you feel like you're drowning under all of this stress. He needs to know what's going on because that's what being a committed couple is about. You mention being overwhelmed and starting to feel resentful, yet it doesn't sound like you're asking anyone for help in changing your situation. Your bridal party should be able to help out, even if they are busy, too. Delegating even minor tasks will ease your load a bit. Reaching out to the people you have in your life is essential, especially when your mental health is stake. Good luck!

PetalPockets2012

I agree with PPs. Talk to your fiance. Go see a counselor/therapist. Talk to the doctor who prescribes your meds. Good luck!

Bronzebrunette78

Thanks for the advice, everyone. Tomorrow I'll probably call my psychiatrist to get a recommendation for a therapist in the area. In the meantime, I'll try to ask for help and be more open with my fiancé. One day at a time.....that's all I can do.

BMBrinson

ALso maybe take a weekend where you do anything else but wedding planning...sometimes stepping away gives you time to relax and you have a clear idea of what you want. All the PPs gave great advice I hope it helps! 

cokie216

I definitely agree with the therapy as PP have said.  Also, is your fiance working seven days a week to pay for the wedding? Or has he always done this?  If it's just to pay for the wedding, my opinion would be that the stress isn't worth it.  Take a step back and reevaluate.  Although weddings are a treasured thing, remember that it's just one day and not worth you hating who you're turning in to.  There are lots of other great options. 

fishinflagrl

Sorry to hear this is all stressful on you right now, it should be a happy time for you. I would talk to FI so he understands what you are going through and then for your sanity and everyone elses go talk to somebody outside, a therapist. I have a lot going on right now with my mom and sister...and I am considering doing the same thing. You are not alone, dont feel bad, we will all get through this.