Hi all! I'm looking for some advice about Save the Dates and whether they're a fit for the wedding my fiance and I are doing in August '12--
Our wedding is going to be pretty non-traditional-- our goal was to have our closest friends and family come stay for three nights all together in one place, where everyone could spend time together, hike, etc., then we are conducting our own wedding on the last day. No coordinators, no caterers, etc-- just us, our guest list, and photographers.
Our venue is called the Red Rock Ranch in Westcliffe, CO-- it's an 1,100 acre estate mostly used for family reunions, with three large houses that can sleep about fifty in total. You rent it like you rent a beach house-- they give you the keys and its yours for the weekend, with no one present or running anything for you. One piece of this venue, though, is they set a strict maximum of 50 people-- it's good, in that it will keep us to our goal of a small wedding, but makes invites very inflexible.
So here's the situation-- right now we have a guest list of fifty, but that includes about 10 extended family members from my fiance's side that we are hoping may not all come. (If even half don't come, that will open up space for a few extra friends we would really like to invite!) His extended family centers in Rochester, NY, and his parents are throwing us an engagement party there this Thanksgiving when most of his family will be there. We are hoping some will come to that, but will not end up coming to the wedding.
So, do we do Save the Dates if we are actually hoping a handful of people on the initial guest list won't come? And if we're going to have to do invites in waves, inviting the initial guests early (around March) and then inviting the next few as we get any "no"s, is it weird if some of the later invites never got a save the date to begin with? But considering our wedding date is set and everyone invited will have to travel to Colorado from out east, are Save the Dates necessary? How much do you think it will up the chance that the people we're hoping won't make the trip actually will? But on the flip side, how much would not sending them hurt the chance that the people we really want there won't be able to come? Most everyone invited has been told the date at some point, but I'm trying to figure out how much official Save Date cards will move people from yes to no, or no to yes.
Thanks ladies!