July 2012 Weddings

Money/Honeymoon Dance?

Are you guys having one?  Opinions on them?

My mom thinks they are super tacky and said we can't have one. Most of them weddings I have been to have had them recently. I definitely like the name "Honeymoon dance" over the" Dollar/Money Dance" though. I feel like since I've participated in others, that now it's my turn to get some back in return. I know that sounds horrible, but it's so true. Our DJ rationalized it saying that if you are hosting an open bar, then it's like your guest buying you a drink back. I was thinking of having this dance, but not mentioning any money when announcing the dance and that guest sthat want to participate can and guests that don't want to dont have to. I like the idea of being able to dance/talk with our guests that we otherwise wouldnt have that time with.
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Re: Money/Honeymoon Dance?

  • They are considered to be extremely rude.  A guest shouldn't have to open their wallet at any time during the wedding and reception.
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  • I don't think they are rude and it totally depends on where you live and what is the norm. We thought about doing this, but decided against it so we would have more time with our guests and dancing the night away.
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  • edited May 2012
    I'm in the 'they are rude/tacky' corner. I've only been to one wedding with one and it was weird. There were a few people who were eager and participating, but then a whole crowd behind them giving WTF faces. But, I also believe that guests shouldn't pull out their wallets at a wedding, so there's that.
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  • I think they are rude, super tacky and awkward; however, if they're normal in your circle, no one will think you're being rude, super tacky or awkward. :)
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  • I think it's strange.  Most people already bring a gift and spend money to stay overnight so I would not feel comfortable pressuring them to spend even more.
  • They're normal in my FI's family and with some of my friends. I hate them and never participate if I'm at a wedding where there is one. I already bought you a gift, and I don't really want to slow dance with you, so why would I pay you? My family also does not like them. 

    But it is one of those things where it depends on your family and circle of friends. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moneyhoneymoon-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:93fb21b7-8712-4b75-ae35-4ba1660ca641Post:e7b71d08-cef6-4802-a1fb-817d817248d0">Money/Honeymoon Dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you guys having one?  Opinions on them? <strong>My mom thinks they are super tacky</strong>and said we can't have one. Most of them weddings I have been to have had them recently. I definitely like the name "Honeymoon dance" over the" Dollar/Money Dance" though. I feel like since I've participated in others, that now it's my turn to get some back in return. I know that sounds horrible, but it's so true. Our DJ rationalized it saying that if you are hosting an open bar, then it's like your guest buying you a drink back. I was thinking of having this dance, but not mentioning any money when announcing the dance and that guest sthat want to participate can and guests that don't want to dont have to. I like the idea of being able to dance/talk with our guests that we otherwise wouldnt have that time with.
    Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]

    I am sorry but I agree with your mom.  However this is not the norm in my circle I have never ever seen this done at a wedding.  But in our circle of friends we do give very generous monetary gifts at weddings.  So it would look money grabby to me. 
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  • I think they are fine to do if they are a norm among your friends and family. I've never been to a wedding that had one nor would I ever do one. If it's not a tradition in your family then it might be best not to do one.
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  • I've never been to a wedding that had one, but I know people who love them.

    It has no special meaning for us so we're not doing it.
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  • I think it depends on what is the norm in your circle of friends/family and in your region.

    I am with mbody and part of the rude/tacky team.  I have been to one wedding EVER (and trust me, I have been to LOTS of weddings) that had one. It was in a slightly hick-ish small town in Indiana. (this was the same wedding where a group of ladies surrounded me and demanded to know where I was from, because they could tell "I wasn't from around here by looking at my shoes.")

    Those of us who were not from the weird small town were confused and felt awkward. My fiance felt pressured to pull out a few dollars and do an awkward sway back and forth with the bride. it was weird. I stood next to them and didn't know what to do while it hapened. 

    That being said, those who WERE from said small town were loving it and having fun and thought it was cool.  So as others have said, customs and traditions vary by culture and region, so what I think is weird might be the norm in your book.
  • BTW, I don't know who's hosting your wedding, but if your mom has contributed a large part financially then I think it might be more respectful to not do one. 
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  • None of MY friends have had this done at their weddings, but ALL of my Fi's friends have. FI really wants this dance and would be normal for his side, butt my side of friends/family might frown on it.
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  • One of my friends did this. It wasn't so bad, but I can see where people are saying it is rude and tacky. Like I said it depends on where you are and your circle of friends and family.
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  • Here's the thing... you said in your OP, that you like the idea to dance/talk with your guests that you otherwise wouldn't have that time with. But, isn't that what the entire recepetion is for? You can most definitely dance/talk/mingle with your guests without designtating a special song to do so. Just make it a point to dance with everyone on the dance floor at some point.
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  • um where do they stick the money during this dance?  In your dress?  Lol reminds me of a strip club. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moneyhoneymoon-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:93fb21b7-8712-4b75-ae35-4ba1660ca641Post:dd881c8e-8214-4417-bb15-f21f7a8222c2">Re: Money/Honeymoon Dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think they are rude, super tacky and awkward; however, if they're normal in your circle, no one will think you're being rude, super tacky or awkward. :)
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]


    All of this exactly
  • I didn't know this existed until I came to TK. A friend recently explained the whole thing to me and I was horrified. Not only that people have to open their wallets, but that the bride has to dance with everyone in order to get the money.  I love all my guests, but I don't really want to slow dance with any man other than my husband (unless my dad wanted to although he wouldn't because he doesn't dance) on my wedding day.  I would never want to be passed around to a bunch of men so that I can make a few bucks. LOL it just sounds awful for the bride and the guests.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_moneyhoneymoon-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:93fb21b7-8712-4b75-ae35-4ba1660ca641Post:189748bc-cec1-40e5-8523-97442d2bb75f">Re: Money/Honeymoon Dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]um where do they stick the money during this dance?  In your dress?  Lol reminds me of a strip club. 
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>haha...I think sometimes they pin it on your dress (weird?) but I went to a wedding last summer where the bride had a cosmetic type bag to collect the money in. 

    </div>
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  • In my area, it's normal to have them and to skip them. We are not doing it, just because we are having somewhat a cash bar (free beer, pop, punch) which is what our venue does. Because of the bar, I feel weird having people pay for a dollar dance. I've been to wedding where there wasn't a dance, nobody missed it, and I've been to where there was a dance, and everyone participated. Also, I'm not having one because I am inviting 350 people... That would take forever! FYI to the ladies who want to know where the cash goes: usually the MOH and best man collect the cash in some container or bag then give it to the couple. Oh! And I love how you would call it "honeymoon dance". Seems less weird. It is a weird tradition, isn't it?
  • Nancy00714Nancy00714 member
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    edited May 2012
    Haha...I started a thread on this on the E board.  I'm not having one because it's not something we do in my culture.  I've seen it done and I haven't thought anything about it.  if you want to join in and participate then do so.  If you don't,  then sit down.  If whoever is coordinating it is pulling people and making them dance with you, I can see how that can be awkwrd.  The greek weddings I've been to,  this doesn't happen because people are eager to dance with the bride and groom.

    I think when seen as a cultural thing, people have no rieason to get ticked off.

    ETA: a link http://greekweddingsandtraditions.com/category/money-dance/
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  • We are having one. It's very normal in our circles and it can provide for some fun times. I have pictures from our friends wedding with FI dancing with the groom. It's our opinion that if people don't like it then they wont do it. Besides it's not like they ask for tons of money to do it - you could dance with B&G for $1.
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  •  "if you are hosting an open bar, then it's like your guest buying you a drink back"
    I think your DJ is misguided. Buying you a drink back? I get it but aren't they already buying you a gift?

    Also, if it's normal in FI's circle but not yours don't you think you'd get about half of the reception cringing? Dollar dances are fairly popular at weddings that I've been to but I know there's lot's of whispers when they happen.

    But, it's up to you. You know best about your situation. However, calling it a honeymoon dance and not saying anything about money might confuse those who are used to dollar dances and leave everyone else puzzled as to what was happening. If you're going to do it just call it a dollar dance.
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  • The 'Dollar Dance' however it's worded, is the norm in our families & area for the most part.  However, we are not having one.  It'd be nice for the extra cash, but it isn't necessary.  I do not find it rude. i think it's fun!  I remember my cousin's wedding they got a shot for every dollar that they gave..hahaha...but it all depends on where you're at and what not for it to be 'acceptable'.
  • No for us. I don't like participating in them as a guest, so I wouldn't want anyone feeling obligated. I think they're awkward.  And LADY, the weddings that I've been to that have them usually have the MOH collecting the money.
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