North Carolina-Outer Banks

Tradition vs. Realistic????

Ok.  This is a question for the OBX brides past, present(MS_Teach and any others???), and future.

Kel(KSJ10032782) and myself like we do on a normal workday are emailing each other back and forth about things and of course wedding tidbits and things of that nature.  Normal day. :-)  So I bring up houses and "her getting dressed on her wedding day".  Which made me think of this.  As some of the OBX brides know this is my 2nd go around in walking down the aisle, er sand, er 1st time down the sand, dammit!  You guys know what I mean!  My first "train wreck" of a marriage was a traditional wedding/reception in every sense of the word.  180 guests.  Small church out in the middle of nowhere.  Then a country club reception.  Just goes to show you that no matter how much money the brides' family has, don't mean "poop" if you aren't in love!  Another story for another time.....back on point.  So, night before we have rehearsal.  Then rehearsal dinner in a different room of the country club where we had our reception the next night.  My brother takes me back to the apartment I shared with my ex, and she goes to her mom and dad's to spend the night.  Next day, my brother(who was spending the night with me and was my BM), takes me to church, I get dressed, etc.  The limo picks up my ex, who dresses at her mom and dad's, and brings her to church, etc.  Herein lies the "tradition vs. realistic" question.  Since we are getting married in the OBX, and housing is the issue, what have all you brides done in regards to letting your future hubby see you before you walk down that sandy aisle?  Kel says to me, "I have never gone more than 24 hours without talking to you".  LOL.  Basically did the brides stay seperately the night before the wedding and not see future hubby until that "unforgettable moment", or are the "traditions" that i've come to know thrown out the window because it's a destination wedding and logistically it's just too "different" to go that route?  Sorry for being so long winded ladies! 

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Re: Tradition vs. Realistic????

  • JAK33JAK33 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it all depends on what is important to you.  If that tradition is important, try and stay with it.  Stay with parents, friends, family, etc the night before or have her do so if that is easier.   Hopefully someone will have an extra bed/couch/rollaway in their hotel/motel/inn/house for one of you. :)

    OR, if that isn't all so important, then don't stick with it!  I will tell you that my plan is to rent a house with my FI for the week, then the night before and the night of the wedding, book an inn just for FI and I.  We will stay together the night before, he will leave in the morning, play golf, go fishing, manscape, drink, whatever boys do on the day of and I will use the room to get ready.

    To take it another step, I was my sister's MOH and they took pics before the ceremony to save the cocktail hour to enjoy with friends/fam as oppose to using it for pics.  That is way untraditional, but they were so happy they did it.

    I think it should be all up to what you both envision, if you want to stay traditional, try and find a place for someone- if not, I think it is perfectly OK to stay together.

    Let us know the outcome!
  • mparwulskimparwulski member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are staying in the same house.  But, he's not going to see me all dolled up until he sees me coming down the aisle.  I want to leave a little mystery and anticipation there.  So, he'll probably help with the ceremony site, chairs, etc. while us girls work on the reception area.  Send him out of the house early, but will come back to switch into his super hero costume.  (Can you tell I used to work for Marvel Comics?)  I'll use my sister's and cousins' rooms to get ready in.
  • edited December 2011
    We aren't traditional at all...  we stayed in the same house, slept in the same bed, and ate breakfast together the day of.  He didn't leave until noon when the makeup artist arrived.  Then he went to his parents' rental and got ready there.  We debated doing a first look, but ended up not seeing each other until I walked down the aisle.  I'm glad we did it that way, even though I was initially set on doing a first look.

    We had debated him staying the night with his parents' the night before or him sleeping in a different room and/or getting up and leaving first thing in the morning while I was still asleep.  In the end, we just wanted to be together and enjoy a peaceful morning together before all the festivities. =)
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  • hibiscus118hibiscus118 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    My DH stayed with me at our rental the night before.  His mom is a traditionalist and suggested he stay at her house the night before.  We talked about it but we rented an amazing house and it didn't feel "right" to us to send him up the street.  We slept in the same bed also. The morning of the wedding we had breakfast together and got some stuff ready.  The plan was for him and all the guys to go up to his moms to get ready when the girls started getting ready.  He didn't really want to do that though so last minute I told them that as long as he stayed all the way down in the basement then the guys could get ready down there.  It worked out fine.  A few of the guys like my brother and a friend popped up from time to time to check on us or get something he forgot upstairs.  I think they just wanted to be nosy, hehe.  It worked out fine though and he didn't see me until I walked down the aisle. Very non-traditional overall though.  You guys should do what feels right to both of you.  Who cares about tradition!

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  • edited December 2011
    Our Plan....We are renting a house for the week, so the night before we will be staying together and having breakfast together. Then when the girly fun begins he is taking off and hanging out with his guys doing whatever it is that they will do!!!
    Now wether this is what actually happens, we will see :)
  • sarahebrownsarahebrown member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    This week I've been considering this same thing! We are renting a house that we will check into the day before the wedding. But my FILs are renting a house too. So, we are going to stay together the night before the wedding, then he will leave in the morning and get ready at his parents while the girls and I get ready at our rental home.

    I think you should go with realistic vs. traditional, but that's just me. :)

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  • edited December 2011
    My husband and I stayed together Friday.  Then Saturday I had the bridesmaids and mothers stay with me.  We did not see eachother until we walked down the isle.  I thought it was fun to do it this way but it is what we wanted.  It gave us time to spend with our closest friends that had taveled all that way to be a part of our day. But if you want to see eachother, then go for it!  I think it is cool how some of the othr couples have/are going to separate when it is time to actually get ready.  That way you are still surprised when you see eachothe.
  • obxlaurakobxlaurak member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Since we live here, I imagine this won't be an issue for us.  One of us will sleep at our house and the other one at the hotel w/the guests.

    If we didn't live here, or if we get married up in Corollo or on Hatteras, we'll probably get 2 rooms for the night before.  I don't want to see him the morning of.  I want the anticipation, however that may make me more nervous! 
  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    We have rented a house for just the 2 of us for the week of the wedding, families will each have their own homes as well.  We wanted to do a "mini-moon" since we aren't taking our official HM until Jan/Feb of next year, so this way we can have a little bit of "us" time.  I will stay in our house with the BM's the night before and he will stay with some of our friends that will have a house down there too.

    He tried to get me to show him the dress last week and the text went something like this:  "nice try, but no go Mister!  You have to wait until 9/16 for this.  Seeing you see me for the first time is a moment I will always hold close to my heart"

    His response:  "I fuucking love you!!!!"

    I thought I was going to die of laughter....and still laughing :)  So needless to say, we will spend the night apart until the big day :)

     

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina-outer-banks_tradition-vs-realistic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:598Discussion:c6768f99-d721-40d6-a7c6-753cb26e9882Post:ded36d78-98ce-491e-bb60-344d0bc4eb1e">Re: Tradition vs. Realistic????</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have rented a house for just the 2 of us for the week of the wedding, families will each have their own homes as well.  We wanted to do a "mini-moon" since we aren't taking our official HM until Jan/Feb of next year, so this way we can have a little bit of "us" time.  I will stay in our house with the BM's the night before and he will stay with some of our friends that will have a house down there too. He tried to get me to show him the dress last week and the text went something like this:  "nice try, but no go Mister!  You have to wait until 9/16 for this.  Seeing you see me for the first time is a moment I will always hold close to my heart" His response:  "I fuucking love you!!!!" I thought I was going to die of laughter....and still laughing :)  So needless to say, we will spend the night apart until the big day :)
    Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

    OMG OBX!!!!  I love his response!!!!  That's a classic.  I want us to be apart, but trying to figure out how it's going to happen.  Let's not put the cart before the horse here though.  We don't even have a date yet!  All this is gonna come together "fast" I think when we are in the OBX for our yearly vaca, Labor Day week, Sept 4th-11th. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />
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  • sarahebrownsarahebrown member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina-outer-banks_tradition-vs-realistic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:598Discussion:c6768f99-d721-40d6-a7c6-753cb26e9882Post:ded36d78-98ce-491e-bb60-344d0bc4eb1e">Re: Tradition vs. Realistic????</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have rented a house for just the 2 of us for the week of the wedding, families will each have their own homes as well.  We wanted to do a "mini-moon" since we aren't taking our official HM until Jan/Feb of next year, so this way we can have a little bit of "us" time.  I will stay in our house with the BM's the night before and he will stay with some of our friends that will have a house down there too. He tried to get me to show him the dress last week and the text went something like this:  "nice try, but no go Mister!  You have to wait until 9/16 for this.  Seeing you see me for the first time is a moment I will always hold close to my heart"<strong> His response:  "I fuucking love you!!!!"</strong> I thought I was going to die of laughter....and still laughing :)  So needless to say, we will spend the night apart until the big day :)
    Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]


    CLASSIC!!
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  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    LOL....there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't say some "classic" lines to me. 

    We are checking into our house on the 11th....we should wave at each other in traffic, lol :)

     

  • edited December 2011

    OBX,i'll see you on the bridge!  I'll try to wave, but might have a pissy scowl on my face as either A) the result of vacation being over, B) the fact that we couldn't get our date/venue that we wanted C) my FMIL who drives incredibly slow is driving me crazy D) our dog is slobbering all over me or last but not least or E) all of the freekin' above! Laughing

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  • ksj10032782ksj10032782 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    He will have a scowl, that's his normal look in the car on the trip.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina-outer-banks_tradition-vs-realistic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:598Discussion:c6768f99-d721-40d6-a7c6-753cb26e9882Post:88921628-ab13-4450-95c8-ba503516848d">Re: Tradition vs. Realistic????</a>:
    [QUOTE]He will have a scowl, that's his normal look in the car on the trip.
    Posted by ksj10032782[/QUOTE]

    That's only because the two women i'm in the car with feel the need to turn a 7-8 hour trip from Mechanicsburg, PA to Duck, NC into a 12 hour "let's stop every 30 minutes for a bathroom break" marathon.  Need I say more? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina-outer-banks_tradition-vs-realistic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:598Discussion:c6768f99-d721-40d6-a7c6-753cb26e9882Post:98e8c3f6-a844-4dec-bc77-5c509883d78c">Re: Tradition vs. Realistic????</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tradition vs. Realistic???? : That's only because the two women i'm in the car with feel the need to turn a 7-8 hour trip from Mechanicsburg, PA to Duck, NC into a 12 hour "let's stop every 30 minutes for a bathroom break" marathon.  Need I say more?
    Posted by Phillyboy06[/QUOTE]

    Hilarious!!  We are anything but traditional.  We have two kids so we'll be spending the night together in a house my parents have rented for two weeks and we will wake up together.  We'll probably have a family breakfast and then off to get ready for me!  We'll have two separate houses across the street from one another so it will make it easier to get ready separately :)  I don't want him to see me "all dolled up" until I walk down the aisle.
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