Ok, I might be long winded with this post, but it's pretty important. Thanks in advance for everyone's understanding!
As many of you know my FI, KSJ10032782, otherwise known as Kelly, and I are planning on getting married next September 2012, in the OBX, Duck or Corolla area, with venue, caterer and date TBD(we will hopefully have this figured out this September when we take our yearly vacation over the week of Labor Day). Now, Kel and I are at odds(I know, we aren't even married yet!) about a certain topic, "who pays for the wedding"?
Last night Kel's mom called her and among other topics discussed, they got to talking about the wedding, and costs associated with the costs. As I might have mentioned before, we have a "mental" budget of about $12K-$15K for everything. Well, FMIL, who has, from what we can gather, offered to pay for the wedding, discussed an amount of $10K, and then made the comment to Kel, "and I thought it would be less than that.....". Well, needless to say, when Kel got off the phone with her, we began to talk, and the tears just began to flow down her cheeks. She said to me, "I don't care about this, that and the other thing. I just want to marry you, and we could do it tomorrow, I would do it." Very emotional type of situation....
Now, keep in mind that FMIL hasn't really sat down with us and said that, "Ok, I'm giving you X amount of dollars for the wedding, do with it what you need to do." Every time we have tried to talk to her she basically hasn't given us a bonafide amount, or anything to that extent. Kel has left our wedding binder with venues we are visiting(Sanderling, Whalehead club) and caterers we are having tastings at(Coastal Provisions, Red Sky) and a cake tasting at(Great Cakes) for FMIL to review. We also have talked about having everything at an event house, but putting prices side by side, have seen the same or higher prices at event houses.
I love my FMIL to DEATH. She has gone through ALOT and is a STRONG woman, as is Kelly. Kel's father passed away a few years ago after fighting brain cancer. She would do anything she possibly could for us(she gave us a nice chunk of coin for the down payment of our house). However, I know her making comments like this is due to how tight she can be with things. She reuses wrapping paper, and washes out some ziplock freezer bags and reuses them for pete sakes! Before you ask, to our knowledge, she has the money to pay for the wedding, and financially is not struggling.
Kel has another sister that was married a few years ago. However, her sister and her husband are in a totally different financial situation than we are, probably combined making 3 times what we make. They paid for their own wedding, however FMIL paid for a few things I think, including the wedding dress.
Here's what are dilemma is. What do we do? Before you say, accept what FMIL is willing to pay and make up the difference, it's not that easy. For us to save $2K-$5K additional would be next to impossible. My pay is severely hindered by paying child support for my daughter to the witch I was married to, so saving is next to impossible. Kel does NOT want to go into debt for the wedding, so taking out a loan for what we would need is not really an option either.
Sorry for being super long winded, but I wanted to give a pretty accurate background as to what was going on and what happened. I'm putting a poll up to see what you all think and would love responses both short and long! Thanks ladies!