Groomsmen issues...arrggggg

I need to vent about my fi's boys! To be honest i have never fully liked some of them, but that doesnt mean i dont respect that he loves them and they are a part of hislife, I just think they are mostly selfish and immature but i can overlook those things normally. So what im getting at is that our engagement party is this Satuday yah!!! but since we sent the invites out, all but one of them has been trying to get out going, they first said they were probably going to go to the beach that weekend, when that fell through.., then they went out and bought phillies tix, then decided they didnt want to go all the way to NYC for the game so said they may stop by for a little but not stay because they want to get back down to philly to go out in the city for the night... now i definitely don't consider myself a bridzilla and normally am very mellow and unphased, but this is seriously pissing me off, i feel that this is part of thier duty to attend the majority of the party and help thibngs go smoothly. Our families have not met before, so this is also an into party for the fams and they are totally trying to ditch it just because its not something they feel like doing. I feel that they are being so selfish and can't give up one day for their best friend... this is so typical of them though, afterall, we moved out to Pittsburgh over a year ago and not one of them has made an attempt to come out and see my fi, even when he goes out of his way to make plans and get tiz for stuff.... arrgggg am I overreacting? I've already talked about it with my fi, but he is so laid back about things that it doesnt bother him and he just says that this is the way they are....any help??????

Re: Groomsmen issues...arrggggg

  • edited December 2011
    Well, I think the biggest thing that stuck out to me in your post is that your FI isn't bothered by it and he admits "it's the way they are."  IMO, if I were you, I would take this same attitude.  I could see if your FI was really upset and hurt by his friends' lack of enthusiasm, but since he's not you *may* be overreacting just a little bit.  I've learned through this whole process that guys are seriously oblivious to weddings and what they mean for the bride and women in general.  They just don't get it the way we do.  Pick and choose your battles.  If they can't attend the E-party, I wouldn't sweat it too much.  Just hope that they come through for the super important times like the bach party and the actual wedding day.  In reality, that's really all you can ask for.  If it makes you feel any better, one of my FI's GM has asked him twice if he is in the wedding (my FI asked him the week we got engaged) and the best man is constantly asking us when we're getting married. makes me a little nervous but again, they are just guys and this stuff doesn't click with them like it does with us.  I hope this helps!
  • edited December 2011
    boys could care less about this kind of stuff.. its just them.. The best thing you can do is KISS (Keep it simple stupid).  Dont force them to go to parties and lunches.. dont force them to have get togethers to "touch base"..  Just tell them where to get the tux, when they need to do it, and what time to show up for the rehersal and wedding..  But that being said, I would still be feeling the way you are!!  I have three older brothers, so ive spent my entire life dealing with the annoying "laid back" attitude of men :) If they show up, they show up. if not, oh well. the party does not revolve around them :)
  • Kaytee241Kaytee241 member
    edited December 2011
    It sucks that they are making stupid excuses to avoid the party. However, you shouldn't expect the people in your bridal party to do anything for your wedding except stand next to you on your wedding day - the rest really is just icing on the cake. If you think about it that way, it might be easier for you to handle these guys through all of the wedding events. GL!
  • edited December 2011
    One thing to remember during your process is that your wedding is not as important to everyone else as it is to you.  It would be nice if his friends were there, but honestly, they are young guys.  If your FI is fine with it, you need to be also.   Otherwise it will put a strain on your relationship with him. 
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