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Wedding Date Conflict

Hi There Ladies!

So I lovethe knot toronto for the amazing people who are so supportive and willing to share in their special days and planning with everyone else! It makes for such a good community!

So here's my problem, We've had our eye on a reception space and photgrapher for a few months now but unfortunately due to financial reasons we haven't been able to put down deposits, but now due to some AMAZING raises we are FINALLY able to put everything down! yeahhhh !!!!!! Only to find out that our date has already been taken for both the venue and photgrapher..... Cry

I am sooo disapointed!!! So both the photgrapher and venue have the week before open yeahh!! (the date isn't a huge deal to us) onnnlllyyyy my lovely good friend and the lovely wife of FI's best man lets me know that they already have a wedding that day for another friend.......

So now I'm soooo stuck !!! Do I go ahead and get the wedding venue and photgrapher that I want in the month (November 2011 ) that I want and for the (discounted because of the month) price that I want/can afford and say sorry to her that she has to choose between our weddings and make FI's best man not even get to choose? or Do I reschedule the entire wedding and try for a march 2013 wedding in order to have her there?

She's a really good friend of ours, her husband and my FI have been best friends since they were in grade school and since we've been together I've gotten to be good friends with them, her hubby is our sons godfather even. But I don't know if it would be a deal breaker if she wasn't at the wedding.....

What would you do?

Re: Wedding Date Conflict

  • I rescheduled my wedding by two weeks so my friends could make it (both are in the wedding party). Their company has a policy that employees with children get priority for time off over March break. Since it takes a day to fly here, they'd need the Friday off. It also saved my guests a lot of money, since flights during March break are expensive!

    Could you find out what time of day the other wedding is? If it's an evening wedding, you could do the morning. You could also do the Friday night of that weekend, which might save you money. Are your friends in the wedding party of the other wedding?

    I guess your last option is to let one of the photographer or venue go. Is there another date for your venue in November? You could ask the photographer for recommendations for someone else. That's how I found my photographer.


  • What do you mean not let your FI's best man choose? Do you mean he wouldn't have a choice over where he would go? Although as a close friend he wouldprobably choose your wedding, you wouldn't be able to not let him choose. He will go where he wants to go. (or where he and his wife decide they should go)

    That being said, you have to do what works for you and your budget. If you need that discount than try for a firday wedding like PP said, or do the March wedding. (or January, February, they are also off-season)

    If you don't need the discount just adjust your date slightly.

    If you keep the date be prepared that the best man and his wife may not attend the entire wedding.
  • You have to do what's best for you.  Is it a deal breaker for your FI to not have the BM there?  That's something you have to discuss with him.  Although, I'm pretty sure March would still be considered a cheaper month since high season doesn't start until May.

    The fact that she's told you they already have a wedding sounds like their priority will be that wedding.  Why not go with a Friday night?  You'll get it even cheaper than on the Saturday. 

    But really, what it comes down to is whether or not your FI is okay with the BM not being there.  You need to talk to him.
  • I agree with all the PPs - ask fi if BM not being there is a dealbreaker, first of all.  Second, is the venue or photographer a complete dealbreaker, as in you will really regret not having one or both?

    Are they both booked for all the weekends except one in November?  Could you do a Sunday or Friday wedding instead?
  • I have a different opinion. I think you should go with your venue of choice and the conflicting date. And here's why – you simply cannot plan your wedding around other people's schedule. Because there is ALWAYS a chance someone won't be able to come. These things are completely unpredictable. I mean, what if you changed the whole thing, had to find a venue you didn't love as much and then, suddenly, another member of the BP or close relative wasn't available? This stuff happens. It happens all the time. Even last minute.

    At my good friend's wedding, a GM traveling from the states was detained at the border and not alowed to cross and so he never arrived for the wedding. It sucked, but that's life.

    There's only so much you can do to accomodate others. Plan your wedding and your friends will simply have to figure it out. Of course you can tell her how bad you feel about the whole thing, but surely she doesn't expect you to change your actual wedding venue just for HER!
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