Catholic Weddings

Questions

It's Tuesday!! Time for questions...as always, feel free to add some more!

1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert?
2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?

 

Re: Questions

  • 1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert?
    Cradle.  My Mom is the kind of woman who wakes up at 4-5 AM every day to read scripture and pray.  She also goes to daily Mass.  I was definitely raised in a very Catholic family.  We never missed Mass on Sundays or Holy Days, we always prayed before meals, and most nights, we said a rosary after dinner.  Before I went to school, I went to daily Mass, and once I was in school, I went to Mass a few days a week for school.
    2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?
    I think the two biggest things for me are example and education.  Because the Church's teachings are so interrelated, it's very important to have a complete education on it.  Too many people stop their faith education after middle school, and later reject Church teachings simply because they don't understand.  And of course exampe is a big one.   Why is my kid going to listen to me about Church teaching if I miss Mass on Sundays, or never pray myself?

     

  • I am a cradle Catholic but my family was fairly cafeteria Catholic.  I grew up outside of Boston and being Catholic was a large part of the culture in the town I lived in.  My father took me to Mass every weekend but my mother wasn't as into it.  I think she raised her children Catholic because she didn't want to make her parents mad.  My father is a recovering alcoholic (stopped drinking when I was 4 so I don't remember) so I know he has a stronger relationship with God that he built on his road to recovery.  However, my father is still upset with Vatican II and now that I am grown, no longer goes to Mass.

    FI's family never went to Mass on a regular basis but he went to CCD and had his sacraments.  His parents are Easter and Christmas Catholics.  FI went to a Catholic College and his faith was stregthened.  He and I attend Mass weekly and on Holy Days and we are active in the social life of our parish.  We plan on raising our kids in the faith but we are still undecided on Education (he thinks public school is okay, I say no).
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  • 1. Are you a convert or cradle Catholic? Cradle for both FI & myself.  We went to the same church our whole lives.
     
    If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  We always attended mass every Sunday, holy days, and the "extra" days, like Thanksgiving, Ash Wednesday, etc., and same with FI's family.  I attended public school and CCD, and FI attended Catholic school, so we both made our sacraments together.  Both of our families pray together before meals.  And also, during lent, my family prayed the rosary together every day.

    2. What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?  We will always attend mass with our daughter.  Right now, we try to read to her from her children's bible at night as often as possible.  Once she's older and can pay attention more, we will make this a bedtime routine every day.  Also, we will pray together as a family before meals and at bedtime.  She will most likely attend Catholic school for gradeschool.  We didn't even bother discussing high school yet, because so much can change with the education system so many years from now.
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  • edited September 2012
    1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert?

    I was also a cradle Catholic. While both of my parents are Catholic, my mom was definitely the leader. Mass every Sunday, Holy Day of Obligation, etc. My mom drilled our faith into us in a way that it was just natural. She did a good of explaining WHY we do things. So there was never any question as to why we drag ourselves out of bed for 7:30am mass on Sundays.

    As I grew up my faith became more and more important to me. I feel like I grow more steady and confident in it as I get older.


    2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?
    My fiance is also Catholic. He become more "traditional" as he got older and holds the traditional Latin Mass dear to his heart. I was raised exposed to both and have always been very traditional and conservative myself. Luckily that will make the job of raising our kids Catholic so much easier. 

    I want to be sure I let my children know WHY we believe things and do things a certain way. Our faith should be a constant and open dialogue.

    As a kid I loved reading books about saints and looking at all of the pretty illustrations. I was drawn to them and still think of them fondly. I'll be sure to have plenty of books on hand for them to dive into as well. :)
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  • Christina, I also loved saint books as a child, and want to encourage that in my own children some day. 

     

  • I am a cradle Catholic, and I would say that my family was pretty involved in the Church growing up.  We attended mass every Sunday, participated in a family fellowship, and my sister and I were faithful attendants of CCD classes.  My parents set a good example, but I think they also let it be known that God accepts imperfection, provided we confess our sins, are sorry for our mistakes, and make an honest attempt to change our negative behaviors.  We didn't pray together as a family (save for giving thanks before a holiday meal), as I think my parents view(ed) prayer as an individual conversation between oneself and God.  We were certainly encouraged to pray, but we usually did so without being in a group.

    Although my FI is not Catholic (he is a non-denominational Christian), we are considering sending any future children to Catholic schools.  We also want to instill in them the weekly habit of mass attendance and stress the importance of charity.  This can take many forms, and it doesn't necessarily need to be monetary or even through the parish.  I just want my children to understand the importance of "loving thy neighbor" and volunteering their time and effort to help others in need. 

    Similar to christinamarie's comment about her books, I remember that when I was a child, I had some videos of "One-Minute Bible Stories" narrated by Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop, and I watched them ad nauseum.  She (with the help of her puppet) put stories from scripture into terms that children can understand, and the stories were accompanied by video scenes and music, so children got the information via multiple modes of input.  I guess I would like to find something similar for my children as a basic and fun introduction to biblical stories.
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    [QUOTE]It's Tuesday!! Time for questions...as always, feel free to add some more! 1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert? 2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?
    Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

    1. Cradle Catholic.  My family was pretty Catholic growing up.  We went to mass every week/holy days (my mother always came with us even though she was not Catholic (but she just converted last Easter)), stations during lent, grace before dinner most of the time.  My sister and I had to put part of our allowance each week into a separate charity piggy bank, my parents would then match the funds and we would shop for a toy for the angel tree at Christmas or food for the food pantry.  I attended Catholic schools K-12 and my sister K-8, and then there was confirmation class, youth group, and choir.  I always felt I had a pretty good understanding and foundation of the faith, although I have come to realize we never really prayed together (other than grace, which we only said at dinner at home).

    FI is also cradle Catholic and his family is very Catholic.  His aunt is a nun and his younger brother is in the seminary.  His mother worked in the parish office for years.  FI was home schooled, attended confirmation classes and bible studies/youth groups.  He never fell away from the Church but when we met he was definitely coming out of period were he had disengaged and stopped making as much of an effort.  Sometimes it is hard for me to get him to mass on Sunday, but he makes certain we pray before every meal no matter where we are, so I guess it is a little give and take. I think he has a more active prayer life than I do, I tend to go to mass and my 1 hour young adult adoration session every week, but then not actively pray during the week, which is something I am working on.

    2. We will definitely good to mass as a family and I hope we can establish some sort of mid-week prayer time. I really liked the charity and service commitments my parents instilled in me and I would also want to pass that along. I would like to send kids to Catholic schools, but it can be logistically and financially difficult, so we will just have to see. As others have said, I think education, explaining why we do what we do and what we believe is the most important part.
    We Do - Since November 3, 2012
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    [QUOTE]It's Tuesday!! Time for questions...as always, feel free to add some more! 1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert? 2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?
    Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

    I'm a convert. I was baptized as an infant in the Congregational/UCC faith. Over the years mt family went to church less and less. By college I was searching for a faith home and was christian more or less in name alone, though I would also say I was doing my best to be a "good person." I ultimately was attracted to the historical authenticity of the Church as well as its universality. As I started learning more and more about the faith, I came to recognize that it taught the truths that I had held in my heart, which has, in turn, drawn me ever-deeper into the ultimate Truths of the Church.

    My husband is a cradle Catholic, but had a personal conversion experience a couple of years before we met that led to really deepening his faith. We do our best to ensure that faith is part of the fabric of our lives. We pray before every meal (even in public), attend mass every Sunday and holy day and as often during the week as we can. We have religious stuff all over our house: crosses/crucifixes in every room, pictures of our patrons, Holy Water by the door, books and rosaries and prayer cards littered everywhere, it seems. God and faith weave their way in and out of our conversations organically.

    We hope this example really helps our kids grow to be faithful Catholics themselves. C has been to mass every Sunday and Holy Day since birth, "says" her bedtime prayers, hears Bible stories and religious songs at bedtime. Eventually, I'm sure she (and her siblings) will have religious toys and books and videos to help develop their faith. We would love to send them to Catholic school k-12, but that is going to depend heavily on number of kids and finances and such. There will also be explicit teaching from mom and dad to ensure that they learn the real Truth.

    Lest that post makes us sound too full of ourselves, let me assure you, we're not. We watch really junky TV, have many more secular books and movies and toys than religious ones, etc.
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    [QUOTE]ILest that post makes us sound too full of ourselves, let me assure you, we're not. We watch really junky TV, have many more secular books and movies and toys than religious ones, etc.
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    That's why I love you, Biblio....you are so honest (and humble).  I wasn't thinking "wow, someone's a little holier-than-thou..." at all, but rather "wow, I wish I could be like her."  But then I read the last piece and couldn't help but chuckle and think "maybe I could be like her..." 

     

  • 1) FI and I are both cradle Catholics. We have very similar upbringings- attended Catholic schools, mass every Sunday and Holy day, involved in youth group, church choir/ altar-server, etc. We also both felt growing up that it was shoved done our throats and not really explained properly, and we both fell away from the Church after high school. Gratefully, we've both found our way back and are in mutual places of learning and actually understanding all that was just "told" to us growing up.

    2) My daughter goes to Catholic school. I hope to be able to keep her attending through high school, but that may depend heavily on finances. We hope to have any additional children also attend Catholic schools. We will make sure they are able to discuss what they've been told in school so they actually understand it, rather than just parrott back what was told them in school/ church. So, we'll continue family prayer here at home and teach the message in everyday terms and situations/ scenarios. We both feel there needs to be a constant correlation between Biblical history and modern day. And we'll focus a lot on "why" the teachings say what they say and mean what they mean. We both felt that was extremely lacking in our own Catholic education growing up.
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  • Resa, you rule because I was just wondering this the other day :)

    I am definitely a cradle Catholic and growing up, I thought we were really devout, but after reading on this forum for a while, maybe we weren't because there is definitely a lot of information I didn't know about the church. We went, without fail, to mass every Sunday and on holy days (I remember we would always be on vacation for Assumption and thinking every year, "Ugh, why do we have to go to church on vacation!!" :) ) I went to public school but went to religious ed. I remember I was always the first one in the class to memorize the prayer sheet (because it was all the prayers we say at mass every week). We said grace every night at dinner and I'm sure we said prayers at night time as well but I don't remember that as well. I had a favorite book of stories about Jesus (which I read to my preschoolers now). I went to a Catholic college but I don't think it had a real impact on my religious life and, in fact, I basically never went to mass or really practiced the faith during my college years and only came back to it several years ago. I'm still not doing really a great job at it, but I'm trying!

    As a side note, both of my grandmothers, though very holy and devout women  married protestant men (my grandpas) and both successfully raised Catholic children despite being in a "mixed marriage" which always impresses me considering how frowned-upon it was back in the day. My husband isn't Catholic either  (but grew up in a strongly religious family) so I'm in the same boat and I'm glad to have had good role models in this arena.

    As far as our child and future children, we say prayers each night before bed (he doesn't participate really yet) and usually before meals. We're strongly leaning towards sending him to Catholic school when he is old enough, mostly because I work at a Catholic school and I would love to have wherever I am working but also for the quality of education and the religious and moral background.
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Questions : That's why I love you, Biblio....you are so honest (and humble).  I wasn't thinking "wow, someone's a little holier-than-thou..." at all, but rather "wow, I wish I could be like her."  But then I read the last piece and couldn't help but chuckle and think "maybe I could be like her..." 
    Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

    *blushes* You're too kind. Ultimately, we're all on our own paths and journeys, with our own struggles, sins and fallen-ness. We all have plenty to learn from one another. Hopefully, with that fellowship, we will all reach our Heavenly destination in the end.

    I love hearing the stories of cradle Catholics who have successfully grown up in the faith, since neither H nor I had the kind of growing up experience that we want our children to have in terms of faith. I really appreciate everyone's honesty.
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  • I'm a cradle Catholic, but I definitely had my rebellious time!  I was very devout until about 19-20...sure, I'd stumble along the way, but my heart was there, you know?  But then I went through a few rough years that made me question my faith, I'm sad to say.  In the end, I came back.  But I wouldn't want to mislead anyone into thinking I've never missed Mass on Sunday, etc.

     

  • Good afternoon, ladies!

    FI and I are both converts.  I was raised sort of generic Christian, never really went to church.  FI's mom is a lapsed Catholic, but he was never baptized or taken to mass.  His dad was atheist, so he basically adopted that mentality in his teens.

    In my teens I started getting more into my faith, and started attending an evangelical church.  When FI and I started dating, he became interested in my beliefs, and reluctantly went to church with me.  He never REALLY liked our church because it's very happy-clappy, pop-music, speaking in tongues, etc.  But he did start to believe in christianity.

    When I went to college, I went to a private Catholic U. that requires lots of theology and philosophy classes.  I was already questioning my evangelical theology a lot, and began really looking for answers.  After a couple years of college, lots of studying, lots of researching, and lots of praying, I really started to believe in Catholic teachings (ironically, the first teaching that attracted me was the anti-contraception one.  It just made so much sense). 

    Junior year of college I went to mass at a real church for the first time (I'd been to a couple in our college's gym).  The mass was so beautiful, and the homily so inspiring, I finally knew that it was time to convert from being just a christian with Catholic beliefs to being a true, practicing Catholic. 

    During this process, FI was a little freaked out.  Confession to a priest?  Praying to Mary?  But he also knew that I wasn't the type of person to convert to a new religion on a whim.  So he became interested, and after many discussions, and sometimes fights, he started to agree with a lot of teachings too.

    We joined RCIA fall of 2008, confirmed Easter 2009.

    As both a teacher and a theology and history major, I'm probably going to bore the crap out of my kids with constant history and theology lessons.  I want to encourage them to question things and read for themselves though.  Taking them to mass is really important too, but I think you need to also talk to them about the mass and pray with them as much as possible so that it doesn't just become a boring routine (I've know too many people who were dragged to church everyday as a kid but ran from that religion as soon as they could).

    I worry a lot about being a future parent and how hard it is to raise children in the faith, but I think at some point you have to just trust God and know that you can't force anything on them.  Just do you absolute best, and pray.

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  • I'm usually a lurker, but decided to jump in.
    1.  I'm a cradle Catholic.  My mom is Catholic and my dad is Protestant, who attends church with my mom more than his own church.  We were brought up attending mass weekly and holy days, as well as grace before dinner and bedtime.  We attended religious education through the parish weekly.  Our religious education was very important to my mom, since she teaches in a Catholic grade school.  The main my parents taught was service to others.  That was so important to me that I did a year of service after college.

    2.  Once we have children we will be bringing them along to weekly mass and the holy days. We will continue to pray before meals and bedtime. We will also encourage service to others and to be thankful for what they have. Like all of you have said, we would be leading by example.

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    [QUOTE]<strong>I'm usually a lurker, but decided to jump in</strong>. 1.  I'm a cradle Catholic.  My mom is Catholic and my dad is Protestant, who attends church with my mom more than his own church.  We were brought up attending mass weekly and holy days, as well as grace before dinner and bedtime.  We attended religious education through the parish weekly.  Our religious education was very important to my mom, since she teaches in a Catholic grade school.  The main my parents taught was service to others.  That was so important to me that I did a year of service after college. 2.  Once we have children we will be bringing them along to weekly mass and the holy days. We will continue to pray before meals and bedtime. We will also encourage service to others and to be thankful for what they have. Like all of you have said, we would be leading by example.
    Posted by SusieSunshine2[/QUOTE]

    You should totally do some jumping in more often!
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Questions : You should totally do some jumping in more often!
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree!</div><div>
    </div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert?</span></strong></div><div>I'm a convert.  I was raised Church of Christ, which is different from the UCC, and very similar to Baptist.  Very "strict interpretation," no instruments in church, stuff like that.  My grandma told me to dump H when she found out he was Catholic.</div><div>In high school I really started questioning my faith.  Not so much the existence of God, but just a lot of the teachings and practices of the churches I'd been in.  From about 1st grade to 8th, we'd attended a really awesome church where I'd received a ton of religious education, and then we moved to a really small town with a preacher who I just could not see eye to eye with.  I kind of hated that churches of Christ were so different from one place to another (although I used to say that was what I loved) and it blew my mind that I could be raised to be a good person and follow God's law and then move to another place where suddenly "God's law" seemed so different.</div><div>When H and I started dating, I initially thought I would be the one to convert him.  He is a cradle Catholic and had gone through a phase where he considered himself an atheist and I just assumed he wasn't too strong in his faith.  I was so. wrong.  I learned so much from him and the more time I spent going to mass the more things felt "right."  When I finally signed up for RCIA, I intended for it to be a surprise, and I certainly had no plans to actually be confirmed.  I just knew that marriage was coming soon and knew that if we were going to raise our kids Catholic, I wanted to know what I was talking about.  I was fortunate enough to have such a wonderful RCIA experience that I became convinced that the Catholic church truly is the church set up by Christ.</div><div>It's funny -- my dad was raised Catholic and "officially" became Church of Christ when I was in middle school, but I look at some of the similarities in the "basic" principals of the CoC and think, "You guys are Catholic and you don't even know it!"
    <span style="font-weight:bold;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?</span> </div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">I really hope that we are able to show a united, strong love of Christ to our children.  I want them to learn as much as they can about all faiths, but I would really love it if our kids could avoid having their faith "shaken" like H and I both did.  I will echo the plans and practices of PPs of weekly mass (maybe even daily in the summers since I teach), prayers, and lots of books and songs.  I really just want to instill an understanding and love of Christ's teachings very early on in our kids.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">I have been very against private schools for as long as I've been a teacher, but having been told I'm not allowed to even wear a cross necklace, I've started to change my mind a little.  I think that kids need the socialization they get from public schools, but I also think the educational opportunities are sometimes just better (plus small classes!) in private schools.  Also, there are a ton of public Catholic high schools, so I think we will explore that option for sure!</span></div>
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  • @ Prof

    I know this is straying from the topic, but you can't even wear a cross necklace?  I haven't tried or asked about wearing religious jewelry yet in my student teaching.  I am afraid though that working in a public school will be a little stifling to my faith.  I already feel really limited in what I can say, and I'm surrounded by some pretty anti-religious feelings among the faculty.

    I would like to put my future children in public schools too, but I might consider Catholic schooling if we can afford it.  And I'm going to try to work at a Catholic school too if I can.

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  • Monkey,
    Keep in mind that this was when I taught in a really big (read: often sued) school district with a WIDE array of faiths.  We all had to take a course over understanding religious diversity (I know that my phrasing makes it sound like I felt put-upon taking this class, I really wasn't -- I loved it), and at one point we were basically told that we're allowed to wear certain "emblems" of our faith, but that at any time if a student or parent voiced concern, the administration would not back us up.  It felt a little disheartening to realize that by trying to make us more "culturally accepting," the district (and a lot of districts, I think) was really just "whitewashing" all of us so that we could be stacked in one big unfeeling lump.

    I honestly don't think it came up too often, although there's currently a big case in maybe the TX supreme court, maybe even on its way to the US court of appeals, about a group of parents who are suing my former district because their kids were told they couldn't hand out candy canes with religious messages attached to them at Christmastime.  I get why districts like the one I came from would adopt such strict standards, but it doesn't make me any less sad.
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    [QUOTE]I have been very against private schools for as long as I've been a teacher, but having been told I'm not allowed to even wear a cross necklace, I've started to change my mind a little. <strong> I think that kids need the socialization they get from public schools</strong>, but I also think the educational opportunities are sometimes just better (plus small classes!) in private schools.  Also, there are a ton of public Catholic high schools, so I think we will explore that option for sure!
    Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

    Prof, out of genuine curiosity, what socialization do you not think Catholic school students receive? I think perhaps there's a misconception here that I'd love to clarify if I can.
     
    I've been in and involved with Catholic schools much of my life- and still am on account of my daughter. Certainly, not all Catholic schools are the same, just as all public ones aren't. But from personal experience and watching my daughter go through her education, I can tell you that her class size is small, but there are 2 classes for each grade. Plenty of students. They have extracurricular activities that I never had in my public high school. They do theatre, debate, band/ orchestra, science olympiad, forensic team, key club, CERT team, FIRST robotics team, big brothers/big sisters, boy/girl scouts, trekking club, ski club, young Rembrandts, national honor society, math squad, and a whole slew of athletics.

    In addition to twice weekly mass, their religious education being integrated into the normal curriculum is a tremendous blessing. And no student/ family is turned away for inability to pay or because they're not Catholic. My daughter's school has a Hindi family and two Islamic families enrolled presently. They attend mass with everyone else, but are also allowed their head-wrap (the girls) and their own religious icons. It opens the door for fantastic conversation that it sounds like you're lacking at the public school level.

    I come from a family of teachers: my dad taught in both Catholic and public schools, and went on to be a college administrator. My mom teaches at a public school, and one of my sisters teaches at a Montessori school. And even though that sister has turned away from her Catholic upbringing, she still, as do they all, agree that the value of a Catholic education is outstanding comparative to public schools. And none of us felt in the least bit "unsocialized" ;)

    And lest you think that perhaps I'm in a highly metropolitan or affluent area, the school my daughter attends is in a town with a total population of just 8,372. Our nearest neighboring town has 10,047.

    Please, please do not let any misconceptions stand in your way if you truly desire a Catholic education for your children.

    I hope my information helps! Sorry I got off in a bit of preach about the schools. It's obviously a subject I'm pretty passionate about :)
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  • I'm enjoying this topic, it's interesting to read all your different journeys. I am a convert in the process now and my FH is a cradle catholic. I really enjoy the way we bond over matters of faith. As for raising children I hope to build traditions in the home that revolve around praying together, the expectation of attending mass and I hope to instill all the morals my parents did when raising me by being gentle and honest.
  • I'm a little late to the party here, I've been mulling over these questions since yesterday.

    1. Are you a convert or cradle Catholic? If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc? If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert?

    I'm a cradle Catholic, and both my parents were pretty religous growing up.  We went to Mass every Sunday - occasionally if the weather was too bad to travel on the country roads we missed it, but my mom still made us watch the TV mass.  We always prayed before meals, and during Lent we prayed a rosary on Fridays (I never liked that as a child, but always participated).  My parents provided a really good example of a loving Catholic couple.  As I got older, I definitely started to get "lazy" about my Catholic faith, and stopped going to Mass as regularly, although FI and I are working on getting back to that as we complete our marriage prep.  I know that my parents would have (and would still) be more than willing to discuss our faith, teachings, etc.  I just never really went to them with my questions during the times that I started to drift away from the Church - at the time, I think I was worried that they would be disappointed or mad that I was questioning things, but I see now that they would've been fine with me having questions, and would've just tried to help me find answers.

    2. What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?
    We will make a point of going to Mass, and they'll attend CCD (or RE, or whatever it's called these days).  I want to teach them good morals, and help them gain an understanding of the Catholic faith.  I also want them to know that it's OK to have questions and be unsure about some of the teachings, and help them search for answers to whatever questions they have.
  • ChloeaghChloeagh member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2012
    This is a really interesting board!

    1. I'm a little of both, mostly convert. I was baptized and my grandparents are devout Catholics, but my parents left the church when I was young. I was an atheist because I didn't know any better, then became a spiritual agnostic when I got older. I didn't become Christian until FI started taking me to church. FI is half a craddle Catholic, since he was raised in both the Lutheran and Catholic churches. He had to pick where he wanted to be confirmed and chose the Catholic church. Although I found God during a Bible study at a Lutheran church, I feel a very strong pull towards the Catholic church.

    2. Having kids is about 10-15 years away for us, so we don't really have this nailed down. Respect and tolerance for other religions is really important to us. Not only to we get comments from others about the Catholic church, but we also are both connected to the Lutheran church and have family and friends who are Muslim or Jewish. There are a few Hindus and Buddists, too (this is why I love public school - there was so much more diversity at my high school than my Christian college). We want to educate our kids about what the Catholic church really teaches while also encouraging the exploration of other religions. I think have knowledge and a genuine curiosity about other faiths helps one be more respectful of them.

    And this may get side-eyed, but it is really important to me that we don't pressure our kids to be confirmed unless they truly want to join the church. I will do my best to give them all the tools and knowledge they need, but I don't want them to be scared to ask the hard questions or admit that they don't agree with something, aren't comfortable with something, etc. I can make them go to church for awhile, but at some point I have to let them make their own decision and find their own spirituality. Going to church is important to me, but I have had many more spiritual moments outside than I have in a church. I understand if they need to distance themselves for some self reflection. I want them to go to church for themselves, not me.

    ETA: We are definitely going to show and talk about our faith, because that is something we didn't get growing up and we were very "whatever" about religion. My parents never mentioned their own spirituality until I was older and FI's parents never really talked to him about anything. It was just go to church, pray before meals, that's all. A lot of my friends were like this, too. They were Christian because they were. Having the conversation and giving our children the resources to develop a strong faith is really important to me.
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  • Lv, I wanted to let you know that I typed out a well-thought-out response to your question, and then my network did some weird things and it didn't post.  =(  I will retype when I get home.

    Chloe, I totally agree with you.  Having been raised where it was "your choice" to be baptized, I struggled A LOT with the idea of "forcing" baptism on my kids (I'm okay with it now, and I get that it's not a forced thing, so please don't read a lot into that).  My RCIA class on confirmation actually included all the parents and students who were getting confirmed (they were required to go -- it was really interesting to have that mix in the room) around the same time that the RCIA group would be and the priest made sure to point out that no student who was having doubts should be confirmed unless he or she sought someone out who could help them do away with, or at least temper, those doubts.  It was really neat, because I can totally see how one might feel "pressured" into confirmation if "everyone is doing it."
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_questions-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:1ed05c82-2864-4441-b2d6-ea4a2e84ab37Post:c9ecc333-2695-4a03-8072-3bf56a5de082">Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's Tuesday!! Time for questions...as always, feel free to add some more! 1.  Are you a convert or cradle Catholic?  If you're a cradle Catholic, how "Catholic" was your family growing up, in terms of attending Mass regularly, educating you on the faith, providing a good example, praying together, etc etc?  If you're a convert, what faith were you prior to, and why did you convert? 2.  What are ways in which you will pass your faith onto your children?
    Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

    <div>1) I'm a cradle Catholic and our faith was pretty integral to our upbringing.  We were in Catholic school through 5th grade and public for the rest.  We attended Mass every week and holy days of obligation, prayed before meals, kept Sundays as family days and had prayer night on Sunday evenings to talk about the gospel together as a family.  Amongst my peers in public school, I had the "strict" parents and couldn't go to gatherings where parents weren't present or see PG-13 movies under age... it annoyed me at the time and I tried to sneak around the rules quite a bit, but I do appreciate them in hindsight.  Through high school and college, I tended to focus more on academic achievement and not too much on growing in my faith beyond continuing to attend Mass every Sunday.  After college, I started to grow again once I got involved in a young adult group at my parish.  </div><div>
    </div><div>2) We haven't decided on the school thing yet... but definitely plan on trying to be good examples of prayer, service and love to our children and making a point to teach our children the faith at home beyond whatever their religious instruction may be through CCD or a school.  I also loved picture saint books when I was growing up, so I think that will be a good addition as well as potentially morning or night prayer as a family when possible.  We have a great Catholic radio station in the Twin Cities that I enjoy listening to, so I'd probably have that on in the background fairly often.  All I know is that I see way too many teens in our confirmation program that don't know anything about their faith, really don't care and are just getting confirmed because their parents are making them... so I'm going to do my best to ensure that isn't the case with our kids, God willing!</div>
  • Just to go back to the whole confirmation issue--the Church has repeatedly emphasized that confirmation for youth is not supposed to be viewed as a sacrament that children only go through when they're ready to fully choose the church.  It's not about choice at all, really.

    Confirmation is the same as baptism in this regard.  Traditionally, we don't wait until out children choose baptism because that would be denying our children the graces that they need.  Confirmation in the eastern churches happens when the child is an infant for that reason.  Confirmation seals a child in the faith and provides them the full graces to be able to live the Catholic faith.

    Of course it's up to the parent when to confirm their child, and I'm not trying to judge anyone's parenting choices.  I'm just trying to clarify that having your child "choose" confirmation is a modern notion, not traditional Catholic teaching.

    That doesn't mean that you're brainwashing your children or can't teach them about other religions.  I hope my children will ask questions about our faith and seek out answers on their own, not just listen mindlessly. And after they're confirmed, it will eventually be their own choice whether to continue practicing their faith.  But confirmation is important in helping them make that choice to practice later on.  Without the graces of confirmation, it will be harder for them.

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  • Okay, so I will try to retype what I said to address your question, LV.

    To be honest, I just feel like there are going to be some social aspects that privately educated students miss out on.  I don't think it can be pinpointed in just one or two things.  Obviously lots of private schools have moved ahead leaps and bounds in terms of student population and extracurriculars, so I'm certainly not worried that my kids would miss out on those opportunities (in fact, educational and extracurricular activities are probably greater in private schools).

    Part of my hold-up is really just based on the fact that I am a public school teacher and fiercely proud (and defensive) of my students.  I could be basing my assumptions on a totally outdated worldview.

    It's definitely a difficult topic for me, especially now that we are TTC.  At first, I would not discuss it -- our kids were going to public school because that's what H and I did and we were fine.  Now, I'm not a hundred percent sure I would want my kids going to the school where I teach, but then I wonder what that says -- this school is good enough for me to work at but not good enough for my kids?


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  • I can understand that, to an extent. I guess we all tend to be biased to our personal experiences. I try not to be, but clearly am. Certainly everybody should make the choice best suited for their family and children. Some public schools are really great, but in my area there are sooo many that are really struggling because of poor parental influence at home and poor financial administration. I think the same could easily be true of any school. Education really does begin and foster at home, with religion as well as academics.

    Just based on what I've read from you here, Prof, I'm sure your kids will do well in any environment :)
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    Ovarian cyst lapro: '01, '04, '09 Conal biopsy: '01- results negative Dilation: '03 for cervical scarring Pcos test: '05, FSH and LH normal Mirena removed July '12 My Ovulation Chart
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