Catholic Weddings
Options

Prayers please!

Not for me actually.. well sort of.
If anyone saw my post last week about my dad on the Snarky Brides wall, this is the same situation.  You may skip to the bottom.  But I just feel so lost as to what to do.
Long story short, my dad has always physically provided for us (clothes, food, house) but has always been very hard on us too.  Almost too hard.  He'd yell at us for nothing and get very intimidating at times.
Fast forward to me leaving the house.  My parents were in a financial bind, and as my dad is a freelance website developer, his income is not steady.  They needed money so I took $1000 out of my savings to help them, all the while he insisted I'd get it back the following week because he was expecting a check.
I didn't get that money back, and stupid me has lent him more money while he slowly whittles it away, never having it at zero.  Early junior year of college I had enough and told him that, while I loved him, I could not lend them any more money.  He got very upset with me and called me selfish, but I didn't budge.
We were okay for awhile, then about a year later, I learned that my grandma had set aside $2000 for each of us grandkids to have on our college graduations to help us start our lives.  Dad cashed in on it early telling her that I needed it to pay my college bill (which was a lie) so she wrote him the check.  I found out about it and he and I had a huge blowout.
It was right around that time my mom decided to leave him, which I am very proud of her for (she was miserable for 10 years.. they tried counseling but he refused to communicate with her or listen to what she was feeling).
I decided to sit my dad down and tell him how worried I was about him stealing my money and his spending habits in general, because I heard he was planning a trip for a few months later to go visit my brother in Europe.  I told him my feelings and really opened up to him, while he more or less told me to "prove" my feelings.  He apologized for taking the money however and promised me he'd have it to me when I graduted.
I graduated 3 weeks ago.  Still haven't seen that money because he claims he's broke.  Might I mention in the past 5 months he did take that trip to Europe, threw himself a massive 50th birthday party and bought a 55" TV and bose system? 
I went home last weekend to visit for Father's Day and the electricity had been turned off!
He's been dating a huge slew of women as well and is in danger of getting the house and car taken away.  All he does is make excuses about everything.
I don't care about my money anymore, I'm just worried about him.  And our relationship.  I'm getting married in a year and this man has done nothing but hurt me for a long time. I have a hard time even imagining him walk me down the aisle or our Father/Daughter dance.
Sorry this was long.  I'm just hoping you guys can say a few extra prayers for me and my dad.  It just hit me like a ton of bricks todayn that I'm getting married in a year and I am so bitter towards him still....  I want to fix it, but my dad is such a proud man that he will not help me fix something that he doesn't think is broken.

Re: Prayers please!

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear about this, that really sucks I pray that your dad finds a way to get help for himself and that you two can regain a relationship again. :-)
    Anniversary PersonalMilestone
  • Options
    newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    :(  Not a good situation!  I've been in conflict with both of my parents for extended periods of time before, but nothing like this.  Even that ate away at me and made me miserable, so I can't even comprehend what you're going through!!  I will keep you all in my prayers.

    Do you think that your dad would be willing to meet with you and a priest or deacon to discuss things?  I can't say that would be effective either, but might be worth a try.  So sorry you are going through this!
  • Options
    ring_popring_pop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What a tough situation. Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers!
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker
    Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I will also keep you in my prayers.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    chelseamb11chelseamb11 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thank you everybody!  I know he won't be willing to meet with a priest or a deacon because he isn't Catholic anymore, he's Lutheran.  My mom tried therapy with them to help their marriage before they divorce but it got them nowhere.  He hates involving a third person in "peronal" matters like this.  I think he's embarrassed quite honestly...
  • Options
    KamakananiKamakanani member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You and your family are in my prayers.  I hope things get better.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    One thing to remember: The wedding is just one day. The marriage is all the rest of them.

    April 2012 Siggy Challenge: Cake Inspiration
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards