What to do about the Preist Leaving......

NicnJen01

We're getting married at the church I've been going to since I was 6, so I've been going there 20 years.

Father Michael has always been there for me, If I had an issue that I coudln't talk to anyone about I'd go to confession and talk to him whether I would be subject to penance or not.

Ever since I got engaged it's been a pain to try and get a call back from him- everyone in the office relies on him to make final wedding date and times (not a small church)

He was told he's changing parrishes and they just announced it, his new parrish will be about 15 minutes away and he told the congregation that he'd come back to to events as requested.

Finally I get a call back confirm my date and time and try and discuss Marraige classes, which I get the brush off (so to speak) and told to contact the new priest after 06.21.11.  I was going to ask him to come back afterall he did all the sacrements for me except baptism.

Do you think I should ask him to come to do my wedding?  But we'll be doing all our pre-marital courses with the new preist I don't want it to be a "slap in the face" PLUS my FI wasn't a memeber so he doens't have the established relationship like I do, yet I know that it's been awhile since I was an every sunday attender, but it feels like he's giving me the cold shoulder since I've become a lot less regular in attendance. 

recap on questions:
1.) Invite Father Michael since i've known him forever despite teh behavior change?
2.) Go with the new preist?
3.) if we decide we don't really like the new guy, how far in advance do you think i'd need to request Father Michael to come back?

Thanks

Equine Osmosis

I say invite him.  The behavior change you perceive may be due to all the changes going on between parishes.  It's probably a very chaotic time for him.  Also, since you have been a bit less regular in attendance he may wonder about your commitment to the church but I don't think priests intentionally try to give the cold shoulder.  I think the best thing to do is to try to talk to him (in person is always best for me).  Let him know that you need a little personal counseling one-on-one.  You can ask him during that talk if he'd be willing to marry you and your FI and lay out your expectations for him. He may be able to tell you whether or not he'd be able to do your premarital counseling.  He will probably also lay out any concerns he has regarding your attendance if that really is the cause for the change in behavior  This may also lay the groundwork for your premarital counseling as he may decide that he wants to encourage your attendance to increase. Sometimes it's just good to connect in that sense, one-on-one and see what is going on.

I realize that this may sound like wishful thinking since you've had such a hard time getting him to call you back in the first place but if you say "I need some personal counseling about some issues" rather than "let's talk about my wedding" he may get back to you more readily.

One last thing- I don't think he'd see it as a slap in the face for you to invite him if you do have a different priest do your classes.  You're the one being referred to the new priest.  You're not the one asking to have somebody else. 

[Deleted User]

Even though he won't be the priest there anymore, you could still ask him to marry you if he doesn't have anything already booked. The current priest will have to give him permission to do so in his church. If not, I would definitely invite him.

This sort of thing happens all the time. The priest that helped H and I through some issues switched parishes right after our wedding. In fact, we were his last wedding at our church. Had he already been moved, we were going to make the appropriate arrangements for him to still marry us in our church.

bibliophile2010

I would ask him to celebrate the wedding.

This happens when priests move all the time. In fact, just last night, I was meeting with our wedding coordinator, and she was talking about how she's really just starting to do weddings with the new priest, after a long-time favorite priest left. We are having a third priest we know from another situation celebrate the mass, but have gotten to know the new priest in the last year. When we talked to the new priest about it, he did not seem at all upset not to be doing the mass -- he clearly understood the situation.