questions

sdelgaicco

Okay, I have a couple of questions.

1) Can anyone give me a basic play-by-play of what the ceremony will be like (without mass)?

2) I am Catholic, but my fiance is not and has never been religious at all. He does attend mass with me, though. Can we still get married in the Church if he has not been baptised?

If y'all know anything that would be helpful, I'd really appreciate it.

Resa77

Hi and welcome!

1)  I believe a non-Mass ceremony varies, depending on whether the couple are both baptized or not.  For the ones I've been to (between baptized people), it resembles a Wedding Mass, except the Consecration and distribution of Communion are left out.  Most that I've been to have lasted about 30 minutes.  The nuts-and-bolts of it will be the procession, an opening prayer, an Old Testement reading, the psalm, the New Testement reading, the Gospel, a homily, and then the vows and rings.  Then then some people opt to do things like presenting flowers to Mary, or a unity candle, but these things aren't required.  Then there will be the nuptual blessing.  Then I believe it's the final blessing, followed by the recession.  Now, keep in mind I've only been to Catholic weddings between 2 baptized Christians, so it might be different since your FI isn't baptized.

2)  I believe you need a dispensation from your Bishop to marry a non-Christian.  It is my understanding that these dispensations are almost always given.  I recently had friends marry each other, where the man is Catholic and the woman is Jewish.  They went through his parish and her Rabbi for marriage prep,  Their ceremony took place at their reception venue, and was officiated by a Rabbi.  The Catholic priest was also there and said some prayers and a few words.  I think they would have been allowed to marry in the church building if they'd wanted to, but I'm not sure.  Anyhow, I know they had to get a dispensation.  Not sure all it entailed, but they said it wasn't a "big deal," meaning it wasn't a hassle at all and no one gave them a hard time.

My advice is to contact your parish ASAP and set up a meeting with your priest so that you can make sure to get things all straightened out BEFORE you get too deep into planning:) 

Hope that helped!

Tami87

!) http://catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/order-wedding-catholic-unbaptized.htm

This shows the order of the wedding ceremony with all the details.

2) Yes! Only issues may be if he has been previously married or does not want children. Also you will promise to bring your children up in the faith, so for him this would mean not interfering with your efforts to raise your children Catholic. The site I linked in 1, has lots of great info that will hopefully answer most of your questions.

ETA: This answers the questions about married someone who is unbaptized. You do need a dispensation from the bishop but I have also heard these are commonly given and it shouldn't be much of a hassle to obtain.
http://catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/unbaptized.htm

agapecarrie

If one of the couple isn't baptized, a dispensation from the Bishop is required, but the priest takes care of this part. Most of the time, the Bishop relies on the priest's judgement that the Catholic won't lose their faith.

Something to realize is that while the marriage will be a valid natural marriage, it will not be sacramental. You can still get married in the church, but both people have to be baptized for it to be a sacrament.

Outline:

Procession

opening prayer

First reading

psalm

2nd reading

Gospel Acclamation

Gospel

Homily

Rite of marriage/rings

Petition prayers

Our Father

Sign of peace

Blessing

Recessional

Unity Candle: Some won't allow at all, Some won't allow it if it isn't a sacrament. (Candles in the church are representation/Symbol of Christ).

Nuptial blessing: Im not entirely positive, but for some reason I remember that this isn't done when it isn't a sacrament. The couple is still blessed, but its a revised version and its not called the nuptial blessing. Check on this one.

Eliz77

FI is baptised but that's as far as his Catholic upbringing has been. We chose a ceremony when asked what kind of wedding we wanted. I just spoke with my Deacon about this yesterday and what PP outlined is exactly what he told me. However, he also said I could do the unity candle and/or prayer of the couple (not doing either). However-we ARE allowed to do a nupital blessing-there are 3 to choose from. And he said to expect 45 minutes from start to finish. 

sdelgaicco

thank y'all!