2 questions: kneeling and counseling

zimgsgirl26

So I went to a Catholic wedding this weekend in the same church I am getting married in and they kneeled for a VERY long time. My fiance was injured in Afghanistan and will not be able to kneel for the ceremony. He said he could probably get down to kneel but not back up due to his injury at war and a previous knee surgery on his other leg. Is kneeling necessary or could we get out of it?

Also I start counseling in October and was wondering what it's like? Thanks

Meg1036

I've been to Catholic weddings where the bride and groom kneel the entire time, and some where they kneel no more than the general congregation (which at my congregation, is not at all - although that is controversial/unpopular with more conservative Catholics...I digress).

So while I don't know this, I assume its a priest's preference.  And I would think that if you discuss this with your priest as a concern, he will be willing to work with you on this, since it sounds like your FI can't kneel for very good reason!

ootmother2

I've only been to two weddings where the couple knelt for a significant amount of time.

Tell your priest the problem with your FI.  I'm sure he will make sure that he doesn't have to kneel for any extended period

GL

Riss91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_2-questions-kneeling-counseling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:a6f38358-3e4c-4aa4-82d8-f41f778adc42Post:025417db-c46b-4bf0-9555-7d63c2fe01b7">Re: 2 questions: kneeling and counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only been to two weddings where the couple knelt for a significant amount of time. Tell your priest the problem with your FI.  I'm sure he will make sure that he doesn't have to kneel for any extended period GL
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

This - and one of the weddings was mine! But that was expected with the Latin Mass. I'm sure your priest will be okay with your FI sitting instead of kneeling. Elderly folks with hip/knee problems often sit or half kneel/halof sit.

BrideBling82

I've been to Catholic weddings and the bride and groom sit while everyone else is kneeling. I think it depends on your priest. Just ask...I'm sure he'll make an exception for your FI.

ootmother2

I haven't been able to kneel since an accident 6 years ago and I really think that God understands my problem.

bibliophile2010

Not being physically able to kneel/genuflect is the standard exception. I would just make sure that it is clear to your priest why you are not kneeling (presumably sitting), so that he's aware at the wedding mass.

We will be kneeling during the prescribed time for kneeling during mass.

Assuming "counseling" is marriage preparation classes, they will vary greatly from place to place. You can expect conversations about finances, communication, sexuality, families (both your families of origin and your future family as a couple), and any issues that may be particular to you as a couple. You may have to complete a course in Natural Family Planning (NFP), though I would recommend this to everyone, even if it is not required. Generally speaking, if you go in with an open and honest mind and heart, it will be a good and pain-free experience.

zimgsgirl26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_2-questions-kneeling-counseling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a6f38358-3e4c-4aa4-82d8-f41f778adc42Post:1b40e7d6-708d-4121-970f-fc01a5b44342">Re: 2 questions: kneeling and counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]Not being physically able to kneel/genuflect is the standard exception. I would just make sure that it is clear to your priest why you are not kneeling (presumably sitting), so that he's aware at the wedding mass. We will be kneeling during the prescribed time for kneeling during mass. Assuming "counseling" is marriage preparation classes, they will vary greatly from place to place. You can expect conversations about finances, communication, sexuality, families (both your families of origin and your future family as a couple), and any issues that may be particular to you as a couple. You may have to complete a course in Natural Family Planning (NFP), though I would recommend this to everyone, even if it is not required. Generally speaking, if you go in with an open and honest mind and heart, it will be a good and pain-free experience.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]<div>Thanks...just kinda nervous for the classes. I'm very liberal with my beliefs and don't fully agree with all of the church's beliefs. We are also living together starting in August.

</div>

Calypso1977

we had a latin mass too, so there was a significant amoutn of kneeling.  however, if one is physically unable to do so, you dont have to kneel.  i also personally feel that non-catholics dont have to kneel either unless they want to. 

same goes for standing.  a person who is in a wheelchair cant stand.  also, anyone who has trouble walking may have a hard time standing for a long period of time.  our priest will actually make statements as palm sunday and easter vigil mass about anyone with standing/kneeling issues to let them know its ok.

lisa89760

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_2-questions-kneeling-counseling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:a6f38358-3e4c-4aa4-82d8-f41f778adc42Post:e9891359-9a00-44b2-9bf7-0f440012b110">Re: 2 questions: kneeling and counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 2 questions: kneeling and counseling : Thanks...just kinda nervous for the classes. I'm very liberal with my beliefs and don't fully agree with all of the church's beliefs. We are also living together starting in August.
Posted by zimgsgirl26[/QUOTE]

We have lived together for 2 years now and the church & priest both know that.  I would consider myself a "liberal" catholic as well and I had no problems at all  with any pre-marriage stuff.

As for the kneeling - just explain to your priest.  At my church, the couple sits the entire time on the alter!

doctabroccoli

We were given a choice of kneeling or standing/sitting on a bench.  I had absolutely no desire to kneel the entire mass, so we chose the standing/sitting option.

Also, don't worry about the Pre-Cana stuff.  It's not really meant to bludgeon you over the head with Church teaching.  It's more to ensure that your relationship with your FI is strong and that you are prepared for marriage.

catarntina

I didn't kneel during the ceremony.  The priest had chairs setup for us by the alter and had us sit during the kneeling parts.

mica178

Definitely talk with your priest about your concerns, and I'm sure a solution can be found.  H cannot kneel for very long, and it takes him a long time to get into that position (lots of old knee injuries), but trust me, no one questions his devotion when he does his half-kneel or backwards genuflect (he has an easier time with his left knee).

mt4sbwy

I have a similar issue due to old ballet injuries - I can get down, but getting up requires serious assistance.  I spoke with the secretary at the church, and she's arranging benches for the parts during the Mass where you'd normally be sitting, and FI is going to help me stand up from kneeling.  That is my choice though - they did say that given my issues, sitting would not be a problem.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_2-questions-kneeling-counseling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:a6f38358-3e4c-4aa4-82d8-f41f778adc42Post:c52878dd-6841-4186-8c72-f791067c620a">Re: 2 questions: kneeling and counseling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 2 questions: kneeling and counseling : We have lived together for 2 years now and the church & priest both know that.  I would consider myself a "liberal" catholic as well and I had no problems at all  with any pre-marriage stuff. As for the kneeling - just explain to your priest.  At my church, the couple sits the entire time on the alter!
Posted by lisa89760[/QUOTE]

You guys are both lucky.  Our priest/church is VEEERRY conservative.  Our priest won't even marry us if we are living together (we even offered to get a two bedroom apartment and "live" in the two separate bedrooms). But that's off topic.
If you explain to your priest why your FI cannot kneel, I don't see how it could be a problem.