How to address inner envelop for a nun?

SaraAndrew2010

We are inviting FI's great aunt, who is a nun, to our wedding.  FI's grandmother provided her mailing address for the out envelope as address to Sister Mary Jean Doe.

 What is the correct way to address the inner envelope?  I haven't had much luck finding a definitive answer online.  Following the formula of title and last name, it would be Sister Doe.  But Sister Mary feels more natural.  FI's family commonly calls her Aunt Mary.

Does anyone know what the correct form for the inner envelope is?  TIA

Lanatir

The inner envelope can say whatever you want it to say.  It's a less formal way of personalizing it.  If you feel most comfortable with "Sister Mary," then that's how it should go, unless FI wants "Aunt Mary," since that's who she is to your FI.

On one of my inner envelopes, I wrote "Caution, the contents of this envelope will induce vomiting" because the person it was sent to thinks weddings are overly cheesy and my FI had picked out super cute and def cheese invitations.  The person receiving the invitation thought it was the greatest thing ever.

I had fun with my inner envelopes with the stated above example and drawing pictures and used the inner envelopes as a general destressor. 

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_address-inner-envelop-nun?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:a910d053-a370-4af3-a872-303f28182f5dPost:71a4fc2d-1d80-439e-ba5c-c062a813018e">Re: How to address inner envelop for a nun?</a>:
[QUOTE]The inner envelope can say whatever you want it to say.[/QUOTE]

This is not technically correct. The inner envelope, according to etiquette, is Mr. and Mrs. LN or the equivalent, based on the actual invitees.  I think if the OP is going for the sort of inner envelope, then "Sister Doe" is correct, even if it feels unnatural. Just like you would address your grandparents, formally, as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, even though that seems totally unnatural (to me at least).

That said, if your wedding is more casual, I think that sometimes using less formal names is an option, even if it is not "correct." It comes down to how closely you follow etiquette (since this is not an issue that will really affect your guests' enjoyment of the event) and how formal your wedding is.

clearheavens

For the outer envelopes, you have no choice but to be formal.  But the inner envelope is less formal.  If your goal is to be proper, then Sister Doe would be best.  If your goal is to be intimate and close, then Aunt Mary.

I'm in the same boat.  Some of my aunts are nuns.  We are putting "Aunt FN" on ours because it will make it feel warmer and less distant.  We prioritized hospitality over formality when they conflict.

mica178

Ask your FI or your FMIL.  Sister Doe would be the formal answer.  If everyone calls her Aunt Mary and she prefers to be more casual with family, then go with that.  Your inner envelope to her should be done in the same manner as that to other family.  If you're doing "Uncle Bob and Aunt Kathy," rather than "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," then Aunt Mary is fine.  But if you're doing titles and last names for everyone else, Sister Doe is the way to go.

SaraAndrew2010

I've asked FI and his family, and no one is sure of the proper way to address the inner envelope.  Our wedding is formal and we have been addressing the inner envelopes formally.  For instance, Mr. Smith instead of Uncle Smith.

 I want to follow the correct etiqette, but wasn't sure if there is a special rule for nuns.  Growing up, I've almost never heard a nun referred to as Sister Lastname. 

mica178

There's a difference between the spoken, casual name and the formal, written name. 

If her legal last name is Brown, then Sister Brown is correct.  Or if you'd like, if you know her religious name in the convent, you can call her Sister Mary Joseph on the inner envelope, Sister Mary Joseph of the Order of XYZ on the outer envelope.

You can also have your FI (or his family) contact Aunt Mary to find out what she'd recommend!

ellen73

I invited about a dozen nuns to our wedding- and we used formal Sr. Mary Francis Smith, SJA, on the outer envelope, and then what we commonly call them on the inner envelope.   Aunt (for my two aunts) or Sr. Common Name...   

Angelamco

I don't know if you've already solved this issue or not, but just speaking from experience. (I was in a convent then a monastery until a couple of years ago.)  ...The outer evelope should read: Sr. Mary John Smith, O.P. (includes the religious name, last name, and initials of the religious order). The inner envelope should read: Sr. Mary John (just the religious name) This holds true because even in a formal setting, she would never go by "Sr. Smith" or "Aunt Mary", she always goes by "Sr. Mary John." The exception, of course is if she would be insulted if she wasn't called "Aunt Mary," but chances are she would realize that it's a formal wedding and invitations are intended to be formal. Either way, I know for us, we got used to people not knowing how to address envelopes, addressing us by the wrong name in public, etc. Most people just aren't familiar enough with religious life to know what to say, so don't worry too much.

I hope this helps.
~Angela