Remembering Loved Ones

Fenkeilah

I am looking for  a way to remember my FI's grandma, who passed away this past october. Unfortunately, only the very closest in the family attended her funeral in colorado, and this will be the first time we are all together since she has passed. We will also be honoring our other grandparent's who have passed, but would like to do something a little special for her. I was originally thinking a short memorial service following our mass, where I would have a bag piper play amazing grace, but I feel this will be a little too emotional, and uncomfortable for those who have no clue what is going on. Not to mention we will all be balling and have to take pictures shortly after. What should I do?! Any suggestions on how to honor her specifically without making everyone so upset???

newlyseliski

So sorry for your loss!  There are numerous ways to honor the memory of your FI's grandmother at your wedding.  You can include your FI's grandmother in the prayer intentions, carry a momento with you... like a memorial pendant on your bouquet and include an extra note in your program about her.  Another way would be having one of the altar arrangements (if you're doing them) include her favorite flowers.  I think you just want to balance not over-emphasizing it at the wedding itself because the focus should remain on the marriage sacrament and Mass.   

Of course at your reception, there are many more opportunities to honor the memory of deceased relatives!  We had old wedding photos from our parents, grandparents, etc and made family trees.  I've also seen these tables include special flower arrangements and memorial candles for recently deceased relatives.  If you're having someone say a prayer before the meal, you can always request that they mention your FI's grandmother there, too!  An odd memento, but we used old canning jars from my husband's recently deceased grandparents as vases for all of the flowers at our reception in honor of them.. and their tendency to can any unattended fruit or vegetable in the house  You can call attention to any of these memorials through little notes or by having someone mention it in their speech!

Fenkeilah

All great ideas. Thank you so much!

professorscience

I agree with Newly that the focus should be on your marriage.  H and I had a friend whose grandmother passed away something like a month before her (the friend's) wedding, and I think it was pretty unexpected.  The featured her in the memorial section of their program, something like:

"In loving memory of ________________, a wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother.  She is dearly loved and missed."

Then they included the names of the other family members who had passed on.  It was really sweet.

I really like the idea of including her in the prayer, too.

H actually received his grandfather's wedding band to use as his own.  Only family knew, but it is a wonderful tribute to him and I know H's aunt lost it after our ceremony, and Tink had been dead for years.  You never know what is going to bring all those emotions back up.

bibliophile2010

We included deceased family in moth a "in memory" section on the program and in the intercessions. Originally, it only included immediate family members, but H lost an uncle somewhat unexpectedly (he was ill, but no one realized it would happen so fast) a couple of weeks before the wedding, and we added him as well. Honestly, that was just enough. There were some tears (mostly because my sister who read the intercession choked up), but it wasn't ALL ABOUT missing loved ones.

My sister included the family wedding pictures at her reception, which were really cool. I didn't end up doing it because things are a bit more complicated on H's side of the family.