Catholic/ Lutheran Wedding

xokristenelise

I am catholic and FI is Lutheran. Since my parents are hosting the wedding we decided to have the ceremony in a catholic church in our town. I don't really have any connection to the church, but it is the only catholic church around and my grandma would practically disown me if i didnt have a catholic wedding. Anyway, FI is lutheran and very close to his religon. He is from out of town, so his church is tohave to far out to have the ceremony.
I was wanting to know if anyone has had or heard of a catholic priest and a lutheran pastor officiating the wedding together. We don't want a full mass, but want everyone to be able to accept communion like in a lutheran service.
I'm scared to go and talk to a priest because I'm scared he'll think i'm dumb for wanting such a mixed ceremony!
any advice ladies?!

SaraAndrew2010

Congrats on your engagment. 

In cases of mixed marriage, it is usually advised to have the wedding outside of mass (as you already suggested doing).  When it is not a mass, there is no communion.  If you did have a Catholic mass, non-Catholics would not be able to receive communion.

If you talk to the Catholic church where you are getting married about bringing in a Lutheran pastor, they should be able to arrange for him to take part in the ceremony. 

I'd also recommend checking out www.catholicweddinghelp.com that has a lot of helpful info.

bibliophile2010

Ditto everything that Sara said. Especially the congratulations!

In addition to that, I would really encourage you to consider the role of religion in your own life and that of you and your FI as a couple. You indicated that you are not really practicing your faith, but he is active in his. What about you as a couple? Are you going to attend Mass? Will he go with you if you do? Are you going to go to the Luthern church with him? How will you raise your children? In which church, if any, will they be baptized? Are you comfortable promising to do everything possible to raise your children in the Catholic church (you will be asked to make this promise)? Do you think you might want to get back to practicing your faith now or in the future?

These are things you need to think through for yourself and discuss with your FI at length until you have an answer. Maybe you have done this already. That should really guide your decision to have a Catholic wedding more than your parents hosting or your grandmother being upset.

If you genuinely see Catholicism as part of your future, your plan is solid. If you do not, you have some thinking to do, IMHO.

agapecarrie

Catholics believe that the bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ at the mass. This is the marriage of Christ to His church. This is possible because the priests have apostolic succession. Some branches of lutheranism do not believe this, others believe in consubstantiation which is not the same belief, and they do not have apostolic succession for it to be possible.

For someone to receive communion, they are making a commitment of faith in all the catholic church teaches to be true. This is why only Catholics, in the state of grace, can receive the Eucharist. It is a statement of faith in the sacrament and the church.

It is not possible for non-Catholics to receive communion. In order to have communion at a wedding at all, you have to have a mass, which is not recommended for mixed marriages.

A pastor of a different denomination may take part as any lay person can take part in a liturgy of the word (readings, witness, etc) They may allow for him to say an extra prayer at the end.

MuddyInsignia

Hello--FI and I are experiencing similar cermony questions. I am Episcopalian and he is RC (Roman Catholic).  We are both very observent (liturgicaly, etc.)

Just as background, the Episcopal Church (Anglican) and Lutherans are the only protestant religions to believe in transubstantiation. (Where the bread and wine become the Blessed Body and Blood of Christ). In fact, some Catholic bishops will allow both a Catholic to accept communion in one of these other churches or an Epicopalian or Lutheran to have commuion in the Catholic Church. (Episcopalians can also claim Apostolic succession, by the way).

I attended a military service academy for college and was unable to leave base to attend Episcopalian mass. At the base chapel, the only 2 options were a very low-church evangelical style protestant service or an RC mass. The Catholic priest met with me and encouraged me to attend Catholic mass and approved me taking commuion... sorry huge tangent. But it is good to note that there are VERY strong ties between these two churches and particularly the clergy always seem very cognizant of that.

I attended a wedding ceremony in our local Catholic church where my Episcopalian priest co-officiated with the Catholic priest. It is good to note that at that service, the Episcopalian priest did not assist with communion (as the altars must be kept separate when consecrating the host). 

FI and I are also having a combo ceremony, but in my church (Episcopalian). The Catholic priest, who I know very well, is co-officiating. We are actually even having all of our pre-marital classes combined with both priests (at their request, lol), and we have all really enjoyed the involved theological discusions that have arisen. I think one thing that drew FI and I together was our mutual respect and interest in religion and history of the Church.

The sacrament of holy eucharist/communion is also very important to us, so we are struggling with how we can both possibly receive it during the marriage ceremony. One option for us is the priest to carry over a previously consecrated host to offer Catholic wedding guests. While the Episcopalian commuion would be available to all baptized Christians who have full understanding of the significance of the consecration of the Body and Blood. Maybe you can do the same at your mass.

But to be honest, I am not sure how well it will work logisitcally for us--I mean do we say Catholics to the right, proties to the left... If you are really set on having communion, I think it can happen--but it will be difficult. Let me know if you have any ideas.

LauraT25

I just want to point out that not all Lutherans believe in transubstantiation, and in fact all of the ones I've ever met do not.  Just to clarify the statement that "the Episcopal Church (Anglican) and Lutherans are the only protestant religions to believe in transubstantiation. (Where the bread and wine become the Blessed Body and Blood of Christ)."  In fact this was a point that was brought up often in my Lutheran confirmation classes as a major difference between Lutherans and Catholics, and it is why I was told that I (and other non-Catholics) cannot receive communion in the Catholic church.

I'm not saying that there aren't Lutherans that believe it, but I don't think it's very common, and I think it is unlikely that the Lutheran guests will be able to receive communion at a Catholic wedding.

agapecarrie

The episcopal church does not have apostolic succession. The only churches with apostolic succession that are not in communion with Rome are the orthodox churches.

The episcopal church USED to have succession, but the line has long since been broken.

Also, the episcopal belief is not the same as transubstantiation, a similar form of it, but it isn't the same. If you really look into the history, the different strains of episc/lutheranism, and understanding of human nature, you will find the differences. in fact, back in the origins, there was doctrine written against transubstantiation. Bottom line, if your pastor's ordination cannot be traced back to a catholic bishop/pope, he's not a successor.

They also do not believe in the communion with Rome....this is the biggest part of split that exists which is why only Catholics in the state of grace may receive communion. (A catholic must go to confession and receive absolution-- which is communion back in the church before receiving communion if they aren't in the state of grace).

Priests that allow protestants to communion are not following canon law. If a priest brings the Eucharist from the Catholic church to an episcopal church for a wedding, this would be a GROSS violation and illicit practice and should be reported the the bishop.

A protestant pastor may not "co celebrate" a catholic wedding. It may appear like they are if they let them stand up front, but they are technically not allowed.

MuddyInsignia

Laura, yes, I think you are right that they will not be able to receive communion. And so sorry that my post ended up being so long. I just get so into religion sometimes, lol.

I guess my point was that it is quite amazing at some of the similarities between those more liturgical denominations.

Unfortunately, I agree that some many people today do not understand/ remember/ follow their confirmation training or catechesis. I remember questioning my first college roommate (who was Catholic) about her taking BCP and if she thought it was ok--she had no idea the Catholic Church had anything against it! I am also the only single person in my generation that regularly attends my church... nearly all my friends appear to be distanced from whatever faith that were raised in...

But the tradition and teachings of the Episcopal Church do teach being in a state of grace with fasting, etc. to be eligible to receive communion as it is a sacrament. In other words, it is not simply a symbol of the last supper (like most other protestant denominations), but is truly the Body and Blood. hmm.... maybe it is more different than I thought in the Lutheran church, I will have to look that up! 

Nevertheless, the Vatican does not recognize the Episcopal Church to universally support a Catholic taking of Episcopalian communion (or vice versa). My military experience was certainly a unique one--but the more I talk to Catholic clergy, I find that most would have made the same allowances in that situation. But this does bring into mind when we had that week when were praying for Christian Unity--and be aware of those things that can bring those of us that are still observant closer together.

I also agree with you guys that it is really important to discuss how to raise any possible children with a strong respect and observance of the church and its teachings.

It is so wonderful to find people with similar mixed marriage questions, though...

bibliophile2010

MuddyInsignia -- May I ask if you belong to a church in the branch of Anglicans that has been granted permission by the Holy See to become Catholic? I probably worded it wrong, but I generally hear them referred to by Catholics as Anglo-Catholics.

My understanding is that there are pockets of these Anglo-Catholics who do, in fact, believe Church teaching on transsubstantiation and certain other issues, but still have to do through a process of some sort to become "Catholic" and enter into communion with Rome.