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Letters from family saying we are free to marry

I learned this weekend that my fiance and I have to obtain 2 letters each from our families (or people close to us) saying that we have not been married before and are free to marry in the church.  I'm curious if others have done this and what they asked their relatives to say.

Re: Letters from family saying we are free to marry

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    catarntinacatarntina member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our church gave us a form, called a "B" form.  We had our mothers fill it out and it needed to be signed and stamped by a Catholic priest.

    It just said pretty much what you have written there:  "Have they been married before, do they want children, are they entering into this marriage freely without reservations, have the parents given consent, were they baptized, do you know any reason why this marriage should not take place?"

    That was about it.

    If you have Word, here's a link to Archdiocese of Denver's form that we had to fill out:
    http://www.archden.org/tribunal/marriage_resources/MB--(Computer%20Version)--Word%202000.DOC

    Hope that helps!
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    Anniversary

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    edited December 2011
    We each have to have two affidavits completed by two members of our family at a Catholic church. They are asked the same questions for the same purpose.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_letters-family-saying-marry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:bc359080-87cf-4478-b78b-8baa55d67e5dPost:1d010acc-913a-44eb-af20-447d4d2aa9b6">Re: Letters from family saying we are free to marry</a>:
    [QUOTE]We each have to have two affidavits completed by two members of our family at a Catholic church. They are asked the same questions for the same purpose.
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    This is what we had to do. Our priest preferred our parents fill it out and both sets filled them out, therefore I think we had 4 altogether unless the parents did it together. I honestly can't remember. I hope that isn't bad.
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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I only remember having to send out a total of 2 form Bs: one to my parents, one to H's.  If I remember correctly, it was mostly short-answer (yes/no) format and the hardest part for my parents was figuring out my baptism date.  Lucky for them I already knew it since I had to call the church for my baptism record.
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    edited December 2011

    Our wedding is in three months, and we were not asked to get any letters from anyone.  Does this requirement vary from place to place, or only apply in certain situations?  I am concerned that we may have missed something important--FI's parents live overseas, so it could take awhile to get letters from them if necessary!

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_letters-family-saying-marry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:bc359080-87cf-4478-b78b-8baa55d67e5dPost:1d010acc-913a-44eb-af20-447d4d2aa9b6">Re: Letters from family saying we are free to marry</a>:
    [QUOTE]We each have to have two affidavits completed by two members of our family at a Catholic church. They are asked the same questions for the same purpose.
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.  My H had both of his parents fill out the forms, and their parish priest signed it (I guess as a witness?).  I had my father and my aunt fill out my forms.

    ETA:  And the church where we were getting married sent the forms directly to them.
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    catarntinacatarntina member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_letters-family-saying-marry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:bc359080-87cf-4478-b78b-8baa55d67e5dPost:0b84df12-11a8-40e8-b506-9ccd57a683d8">Re: Letters from family saying we are free to marry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our wedding is in three months, and we were not asked to get any letters from anyone.  Does this requirement vary from place to place, or only apply in certain situations?  I am concerned that we may have missed something important--FI's parents live overseas, so it could take awhile to get letters from them if necessary!
    Posted by christyhal[/QUOTE]

    If your priest hasn't told you that you needed it, then you probably don't. Not all places require it.  You could send an email just to be sure though.  "Just making sure I have all my forms in place for the wedding in 3 months!" or something like that.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone.  To ChristyHal - our wedding is in 5 weeks, and I just learned of this a few days ago so you may want to ask your priest specifically about getting a form or letter from your parents.
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    katetwkatetw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married in three months and haven't heard of this, either. However, in our most recent one-on-one meeting with the priest, he asked us each a lot of questions that sound very similar to this (it was like a six-page questionnaire he referred to as "the third degree" ;) ). Maybe different diocese complete the same action/requirement different ways.
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    edited December 2011
    We had to get 4 - one from each parent and we had to have them notarized.
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    edited December 2011
    We had to get a total of 4 (2 for me and 2 for FI). It didn't have to be signed by a family member, but definitely someone who has known you for a long time & can say you have never been married. Our parents filled out the top section & then signed the form (provided to us by church) while in the presence of our wedding coordinator. She took care of the rest.
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    edited December 2011
    Boy, I sure hope we don't have to do this! We have the registration form from our church that lists all those questions, but my mother and his father have both passed away, so...

    Always something to think about!

    Linda
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    edited December 2011
    Wow our wedding is in 3 months and we haven't heard of that either! I thought with proof of not being married in the church that we'd be clear to marry (on the back of my baptism certificate that shows my communion and confirmation and no marriages). I'm going to ask about this asap!
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    edited December 2011
    We also have to do this but it doesnt say we have to have parents it states that we can have any 2 people that know us very well. My FI's dad isn't around so hes having his mom and his brother do the questions. We already got the forms in a packet when we registered to get married at our parish so all 4 ppl that are doing ours already know the questions that are going to be asked. Its nothing bad..just making sure neither of you have had any previous marriages. I believe it also asks if anyone is against you marrying each other.
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    MissAngelMissAngel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had to do this too.  One for FI's parents and another one for mine.  We were held accountability for getting the form to them and getting them to mail it back.  It had to be 'notarized' by the priest of their parish.  There is a place that requires the parish seal.
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    edited December 2011
    I checked--and we have to do it too! I wonder what else we have to do that we still don't know about!
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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    we did nto have to do this.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_letters-family-saying-marry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:bc359080-87cf-4478-b78b-8baa55d67e5dPost:f8a238df-f216-4544-81d3-84899164da1f">Re: Letters from family saying we are free to marry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Boy, I sure hope we don't have to do this! We have the registration form from our church that lists all those questions, but my mother and his father have both passed away, so... Always something to think about! Linda
    Posted by lmeade62[/QUOTE]

    Linda -- my mother is deceased, so I had an aunt fill out one of my two required forms.  It was not a problem at all for the parish. 

    Your parish might not even require the letters, so don't panic until you've talked to your priest.  ;-)
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    MopsieBMopsieB member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's a new rule. My brother was married 11 years ago and none of this existed at that time. The church is becoming more conservative (again) under this pope. Frankly, I find the whole thing ridiculous and condescending. Fortunately, in Colorado, where we are getting married, you only need to have ONE statement, not two. I had my mother do it and she was FURIOUS about it. (fyi- she is one of the most devout Catholics I've ever known but even she has just about had it with all of the crazy changes). Anyway, she wanted to write "none of my business" as far as the question about whether I will have children, but she didn't. We had to take it to her pastor and have it signed and stamped by him. So degrading. The form is front and back and basically assumes the people getting married to be untrustworthy morons who require vetting by their parents or other family members as far as their "readiness to marry."
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