Processional question

samanthaeisner

Hello everyone!  My name is Samantha and I'm getting married in the Church in 13 days   I've been lurking here for months and you all seem so nice, but I've never posted.

I am trying to plan out how everyone will walk in and I need a little help.  I have 1 grandmother and FI has 1 pair of grandparents.  Should they be included in the processional?  If so, what order?  Who should I have escort my grandmother if she's in the processional?  My brother will escort my mom and he is the best man, would it be ok to give him that job also?  Also, who walks out first, my mother or FI's parents?

After the grandparents and parents, I'm going to have bridesmaid 1, 2 3 (FI's sister), 4 (FI's other sister) MOH then me and my dad.  Is that good?  I wanted to separate FI's sisters because they're twins and I want them to look like different people, but they are his sisters and good friends of mine (I met FI at the suggestion of one sister) so I want them to come down right before MOH.

Does this sound ok?  Thanks for the advice!

Calypso1977

grandparents dont have to be part of the processional, but some choose to include them.

your FI"s grandparents can walk together, and they shoudl come before your grandma.  your grandma can be escorted by one of her sons or an usher.

the mother of the bride is always seated last, before the WP comes in.  the seating of the MOB indicates that the processional of the WP and you is about to begin.  its also a place of honor for the MOB.

i dont think it matters if you split up the twins or not.  some have the ladies walk in shortest to tallest but there's really no method.

bibliophile2010

Welcome! We're glad you're here -- we'd love to have you stick around and post (we do accept us old-married-with-kids-types ).

Do you know who will be running your rehearsal or do you have a parish contact? Some priests/parishes are particular about these details, so it would be a good idea to check with them.

FWIW, we didn't include any grandparents in the processional (in part because I had 2 in wheelchairs).  It went 1) Priest (he asked to process, and we wanted him to anyway, but I know many do not process at weddings), 2) H and his parents, 3-5) pairs of BM & GM, 6) MOH and BM, 7) Ring Bearers, 8) FG, 9) My dad and me (mom is passed, but I probably would have included her if not).

For you, if all the guys are just "appearing," I would do this: Include the grandparents if you want. Get a cousin or and uncle (just in whatever they are wearing) or a groomsman to escort your grandmother in. Have the other grandparents escort one another.  Have your brother escort your mom, have your FILS escort one another, then do the processional as you suggested in your OP. The guys doing escorting would just go stand in their place when they get to the front.

The order of BMs sounds fine -- it really doesn't matter as long as you're comfortable with it. I agree that I wouldn't have the twins walk together -- they aren't adorable 5yo flower girls, they are grown individuals!

lalaith50

If you do decide to have your brother escort *both* your mom and grandma, consider whether there will be time for him to walk to the back of the church again to get your mom. (Depending on how big your church is, how long the aisle is.)

samanthaeisner

Thanks for the advice!  I may leave grandparents out because 1.  My grandmother is 98 and I'm unsure I'm comfortable with her walking down the aisle (although she does it every Sunday).  2.  My uncle is not the most reliable person so I'm not sure I trust him to come to the ceremony to escort my grandmother. 

I still have a little bit of time to decide.

My only contact at the church is my priest and as long as I'm going with what the church says, he's given me a lot of freedom in what I want to do.  There have been very few weddings at my church in the past few years because of the pastor before the current pastor, so I think he is happy to have weddings again. 

samanthaeisner

Also, I wasn't planning to have the twins walk in together, just one right after the other.  I'm going to have my girls walk in single and walk out 2 girls/usher on the way out, with the exception of the MOH/BM.  The twins would be together on the way out, but with a man in between. 

They are being announced together into the reception, but they requested that.  They said they'd have more fun walking in with each other than with another bridesmaid and a groomsman.  Whatever makes them happy!

professorscience

My BIL escorted his and H's grandmother and then circled back around to process with "his" bridesmaid.  H's cousin, one of our ushers, escorted their stepgrandmother.

Could your dad escort your mom and then circle back for you?  That is how we did it.  That would free up your brother to escort your grandmother.

itzMS

I would definitely suggest you ask your grandparents if they would like to process. It means the world to some, but others prefer to be out of the spotlight.

If your FI's grandpa has this type of personality, he could walk with a lady on each arm! (your grandma and his wife)

I think it might be best if you walk with both parents, if you don't have an usher that could escort your mom.

I'll just echo others that the order should be:

Crossbearer, if you have one
Priest
Grandparents
FI & his parents
Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
Maid of Honor & Best Man
You & parents

Eliz77

Regarding the untrusty Uncle...very good thing to consider. My MIL asked to have her brothre escort her since she is divorced and didn't want to upset the flow of things by having someone in the WP escort her. I was concerned since he is extremely unreliable. Well, he showed up for the ceremony and all was fine but then was 45 minutes late to the reception (which was 5 minutes from the Church), showed up disheveled, missing his jacket and tie and my poor MIL was furious, stressed out and very embarrassed. I would never had refused her request, but I felt terrible for her. She still has not spoken to him since the wedding (this was like the final straw upon a mountain of other things). 

As far as grandparents go-I have a grandfather and my husband has a grandma. One of our groomsmen walked the grandma and my mother and grandfather walked in together. I don't think there is a hard fast rule about who HAS to escort certain people. Just whatever makes things flow easily and comfortably!