Catholic Weddings

Anyone not doing NFP?

2

Re: Anyone not doing NFP?

  • Jasmine&RajahJasmine&Rajah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    afmilner, I've been reading/posting on this board for a long while, and I can state with confidence that none of the ladies here would EVER say anything like, "You're a horrible person."

    I'm not pushing you to change your mind, although I do hope that this thread has given you food for thought.  And either way, you can now say with certainty that your FMIL was simply mistaken.  The Catechism (2370) calls contraception "intrinsically evil" and 2399 says this: 

    The regulation of births represents one of the aspects of responsible fatherhood and motherhood. Legitimate intentions on the part of the spouses do not justify recourse to morally unacceptable means (for example, direct sterilization or contraception).


    There's no room for debate about what the Church teaches there!  :-)

    God bless you!


  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:baea9443-f53d-4138-b4e2-c159975a00a0">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]But in support of your stats to some degree, Human Reproduction Today found it to be as effective as the pill. And in some studies, the pill was more effective than abstenance! (Yeah, don't ask me how that works. Self-reporting's an interesting thing.)
    Posted by meep2[/QUOTE]

    I think that the only person on the planet in all time that abstinence did "not work" for was the Virgin Mary  ;-) 
  • Jasmine&RajahJasmine&Rajah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:08f1e2a7-973b-4e6a-9961-2bb4d7edf65e">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got jumped all over (like you are in this thread) for thinking that depo is okay.  So my thoughts are with you, OP!
    Posted by chrissyinatl[/QUOTE]

    Chrissy, I really don't think anyone is jumping all over her.  She asked what everyone's understanding was on the matter, and the ladies responded with accurate information about what the Church teaches.

    And unless I'm thinking of the wrong thread, I didn't see anyone being unfair to you in your own post.  In fact, I - and several other ladies - gave you the benefit of the doubt and said that you probably didn't realize that several of your comments were offensive, and you responded that that was true. 

    It's not attacking someone to share Truth.  Not only is it Biblical to do so, but it's one of the Church's seven spiritual works of mercy - we're supposed to do it!  :-)
  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I will admit that for the first two months of my marriage, I used artificial birth control.  (I wish that I had started charting while engaged!)  When I confessed this to the priest, he said to stop worrying about the rules and enjoy the grace of God.  I wonder if he would have said something different if I didn't amend my confession by saying that we use NFP now.  ;)

    That being said, H and I are happy that I'm not using birth control any longer.  It's nice not having artificial hormones in my body.  And H and I like that we're both involved in managing my body's fertility, it's a joint effort as is the rest of our married life.
  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    (I do hope that the OP doesn't feel like we're "jumping all over her," but, keep in mind that when you ask a question in a public place that hundreds of people might read, you very well may get hundreds more answers than you were looking for!)
    :-)
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I will not be doing NFP either and as a Catholic will be on the pill.  It is the right choice for my family.  Don't feel pressured to make a decision that isn't right for you.  I think NFP is a great choice for other people, but at the end of the day you have to make the right choice for you, whatever that may be.  Good luck with your decision!
  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:51efc57a-3069-4543-a99c-286fed29a1af">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone not doing NFP? : Chrissy, I really don't think anyone is jumping all over her.  She asked what everyone's understanding was on the matter, and the ladies responded with accurate information about what the Church teaches. And unless I'm thinking of the wrong thread, I didn't see anyone being unfair to you in your own post.  In fact, I - and several other ladies - gave you the benefit of the doubt and said that you probably didn't realize that several of your comments were offensive, and you responded that that was true.  It's not attacking someone to share Truth.  Not only is it Biblical to do so, but it's one of the Church's seven spiritual works of mercy - we're supposed to do it!  :-)
    Posted by Jasmine&Rajah[/QUOTE]

    Agreed (as usual =)) Also, this paragraph from the Catechism:
    <strong>
    1868 </strong>Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when <em>we cooperate in them</em>: (emphasis in original)
    <p>- by participating directly and voluntarily in them; </p><p>- by ordering, <em><strong>advising, praising, or approving them</strong></em>;(emphasis added) </p><p>- by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so; </p>- by protecting evil-doers.

    So, a response to the OP saying something like "Great! Whatever works for you!" would actually make one complicit in the sin. I did not see a single uncharitable, accusatory, nasty, what-have-you response, but a truthful one requires stating what the Church teaches. In fact what is really uncharitable is to purposely leave someone believing that a sin is not a sin.
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  • meep2meep2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:f10f3c84-0495-4dec-a4bd-1ca1bd5e1171">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Meep, if you read TCOYF, it explains in there that it can be used as a long term birth control.  She said something about being on her 384th cycle while writing the book.  If people get pregnant, it's not a method failure, it's user error.   Similiarly to forgetting to take your pill, or using an expired condom.  You may get pregnant.  The difference is, NFP is highly unforgiving to those types of mistakes. 
    Posted by catarntina[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it <em>can</em> be used long-term, and it's not even the length of time I'm talking about. It's a very subtle distinction, and obviously I'm not doing a very good job with the wording. The culture of Life in the Church means that any instance of pregnancy must be viewed as God's gift. (No arguments there.) This means that NFP therefore must be a method that is not for the complete prevention of pregnancy, but for the timing of it. Every time that you decide to use NFP to avoid pregnancy, you should ask yourself whether children might be part of God's plan for you at the moment, and whether your decision not to have more children is selfish or virtuous. There are arguments within the Church that the way that the Couple to Couple League teaches NFP is illicit, because it teaches couples to deliberately frustrate God's plan. I'm not making an argument either way, but on either side it's pretty clear that it's not just the <em>how</em> you're preventing a pregnancy you need to consider, but the <em>why</em>.

    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone not doing NFP? : I think that the only person on the planet in all time that abstinence did "not work" for was the Virgin Mary  ;-) 
    Posted by newlyseliski[/QUOTE]

    I've often thought that I'm reeeeeeeeeeally glad I have the benefit of time on that one, because I can just have faith.

    Stats can be twisted every which way. I wonder on those whether people were lying ("look Mom! I swear I was good! I'm even telling the doctors in the study I was in!"), or whether it comes from a fundamental lack of understanding about how babies are made. Ever watched Glee? Hot tub!
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The culture of Life in the Church means that any instance of pregnancy must be viewed as God's gift. (No arguments there.) This means that NFP therefore must be a method that is not for the complete prevention of pregnancy, but for the timing of it. Every time that you decide to use NFP to avoid pregnancy, you should ask yourself whether children might be part of God's plan for you at the moment, and whether your decision not to have more children is selfish or virtuous.

    true.

    but i think PP was trying to make the point for efficacy since so many seem to think that nfp will most certainly give you an "ooops" baby at somepoint, and therefore could not be viewed as a long term option the way the pill or other artificial means might.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:b7bdeacb-238c-4685-9a48-8f12a65ec066">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Every person I know who has done NFP (NOT rhythm) has gotten pregnant within a year. two years and counting using NFP.  not pregnant. but as angie pointed out, the only 100% way to avoid is abstinence.  that's why when you know you are fertile, you abstain.<strong> i definteily want sex more (as does H) when i'm fertile.  that's pure nature, i think.</strong>  that's where discipline and self control come in.  you have ot be able to say "no" if you dont want a baby.  some choose to throw caution to the wind and take a chance.  they may or may not get pregnant. rather than "get into the moment" and have to say no, we have a system where in i say to H "we are good to have sex now until i tell you otherwise"   or "we cant have sex until i tell you otherwise (unless you want a baby)".  that way, we can still have some spontenaeity and it avoids us getting into a situation where saying no can be hard or when trying to make a rational decision abotu whehter we are ready or not for a child could be difficult.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    Praise God! I thought I was crazy. FI and I are waiting for marriage, but it always seems like the wait is tougher on those fertile days!  I'm so amazed at how well-designed we are by God to share in His creative process and bring children into this world.
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  • catarntinacatarntina member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:f661f66c-cd48-4ceb-b89f-0e9208091539">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone not doing NFP? : Praise God! I thought I was crazy. FI and I are waiting for marriage, but it always seems like the wait is tougher on those fertile days!  I'm so amazed at how well-designed we are by God to share in His creative process and bring children into this world.
    Posted by linzluvsgzuss[/QUOTE]

    You are definitely not alone! LOL  There have actually been studies suggest that all men are more attracted to any woman when she's nearing ovulation.  One study I once read showed that woman received increase tips around that time of month if she was a waitress at a restaurant.  Here's one article:

    <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38755436/ns/health-womens_health/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38755436/ns/health-womens_health/</a>
    ---------
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:51efc57a-3069-4543-a99c-286fed29a1af">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone not doing NFP? : Chrissy, I really don't think anyone is jumping all over her.  She asked what everyone's understanding was on the matter, and the ladies responded with accurate information about what the Church teaches.
    Posted by Jasmine&Rajah[/QUOTE]

    Actually, if you read my original post again:


    <div><em>"I am wondering if there are any other Catholic women out there who are NOT planning on doing NFP once they get married, and will be (or already are) on the pill instead. I have seriously looked into both as an option and have decided that the pill will be able to provide me with the best security and the least amount of stress, especially since I will be working full time and going to grad school part time, and my fiance will also be working full time. Does anyone else have different reasons for doing so?</em></div><div>
    </div><div><em>Sometimes I feel like I am alone in my decision to use the pill instead. I also have mixed sources as to whether or not it is actually "forbidden" by the Church. My mother has always said that it is, but my MIL (who is licensed to teach the Catholic faith) says that it is not. What are your understandings about this matter? I am very interested to hear!!</em>"

    you will notice that I only asked for Catholic women who were considering/using the pill to post on this board. And since I specifically adressed only this group of women in my first paragraph, then the "your" in "what are your understandings about this matter?" was thus addressed to this group of women as well. A pronoun always refers back to the most immediate previously stated person or group of persons. It is a basic rule of the English language.

    With that said, it has been very interesting to read everyone's take on the matter. Just know that I am aware of <em>official</em> Church teaching on BC. If I wasn't, I would have asked for everyone's opinions--that is why I asked women who have decided to take a different interpretation (and I know there are a lot out there!). And to those women who replied, thank you for sharing your experiences! I know there are a lot of Catholics who do not agree 100% with everything the Church says, and it is nice to know that you do not feel as though your Catholic identity is threatened becasue of this one decision.

    Also, please know that I am not making my decision to use BC lighty and that I have given a lot of consideration to both. I fully respect those of you who are choosing to use NFP, but it is not the best method for me, especially considering that my fiance and I are looking at waiting to have children for about seven years.
    </div>

    Adrienne & Jonathan
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  • ally1218ally1218 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:a412bd83-3d22-481b-9227-3e66bb77c7ee">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone not doing NFP? : It may be unfair to say.  But it's what the Church believes.  By having contraceptive sex, you're <strong>tearing sex away from its #1 purpose: making babies.  It's the same reason why the church does not believe in invitro fertilization.  That's babies without sex.</strong>  Birth control is sex without babies. A by-product is the pleasure and intimacy. Not its #1 purpose.  I'm not judging you. You asked what the church believes.  The church says NFP is acceptable because God made a woman fertile only during a small window of time.  If you're having sex thinking, "God, I don't want to get pregnant!" then you're forgetting what its #1 purpose is.  The church also asks that you be open to having children.  If you're contracepting, you're not open to having children.  Right now, DH and I are charting to avoid.  But I never have sex thinking, "Oh my God I hope I don't get pregnant from this!" If I did get pregnant this cycle, I'd thank God for blessing me with a child because that would mean He felt I was ready to have children.  One of my favorite quotes: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."   Again, I'm not judging. If you cannot have children now, and you want to use BCP, use BCP. You specifically asked how the church feels, and I'm explaining why they feel it degrades the act when you contracept.  Again, read Humanae Vitae or Good News About Sex and Marriage .  It'll answer all your questions.
    Posted by catarntina[/QUOTE]

    I don't do NFP. I don't take the pill. I got pregnant when I was 16. I lost the baby. The most horrible time in my life. I had my after appointment with the doctor who told me that the amount of scar tissue and trauma in me, it's very possible I won't have children. I was raped when I was a girl by two boys for I don't remember how long, so that is probably where most of the scar tissue came from. But I have sex. I hope for the possiblity of children, but I know that it is a slim possibility. So, I have sex for pleasure because that is all it can give me. I had to take NFP (because my FH is Catholic and because I have a possiblity, slim as it is) and I had to listen to this trying not to cry. So does this mean that I am sinning because I can't (most likely) have children? Because I'm just having sex to have sex. It might be possible thru in-vitro but I'm not supposed to try that either? That's just mean.

    OP, I think you need to do what you need to do, what you feel comfortable in doing. My SIL, who is Catholic, uses the pill. It's between you and God.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ally - I am very sorry to hear about what has happened to you; while I cannot say I understand how you feel, miscarriage and especially rape must be horrible to go through.

    To the point of your post; I am not going to talk about IVF, because I can't talk about it knowledgeably.  But my understanding it is not a sin to have sex if you believe you cannot have children.  You are *open* to children; you may or may not be blessed with any.  I am sorry the words hurt you; but without being there, I can assure they were not meant to cause pain, imply you are unworthy of children, or that you don't deserve to have sex.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:e0848b4e-c7a7-4876-a4b1-c5a16e40caaf">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So does this mean that I am sinning because I can't (most likely) have children? Because I'm just having sex to have sex.
    Posted by ally1218[/QUOTE]

    I'm so sorry for what happened to you...  And no, you are certainly not sinning by having sex if you might not be able to bear children.  You would welcome children if God sent them, right?  If so, then it's not a sin to have sex with your DH -- the chances of conception might be small, from what you said, but you are leaving it in God's hands.  (ETA:  I'm sorry whatever was said at your NFP class hurt you.  I don't know what was said, but I doubt it was meant to imply that someone in your situation would be sinning.) 

    I recently read a great book on infertility written from a Christian perspective.  It really gave me and my DH a lot of peace with our struggles TTC.  If you're interested in the name of this book or any other resources on infertility, PM me.    *hugs*
  • ally1218ally1218 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Thanks Meg, GulfCoaster. I'm okay with it now, although I feel for people that aren't so forward about themselves. But that does make me feel better about it cause it has been weighing on my mind since NFP. :) It just makes me feel so awkward. The Catholic church talks in absolutes, like there is no alternative, like my situtation.

    I'm sorry OP, for jumping in like that, but these discussions really unsettle me (which is my fault anyways but I hope you'll forgive me. lol). Of course it doesn't take away from your Catholic identity because of this one thing. I can imagine how many, many women go through the same decision that you are making for yourself. You are going to be the one living your life. No body could ask you to do what you aren't comfortable doing. I wish you luck in everything!

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OP -- please be aware that when you are on a board for Catholics, you're going to get answers to your question that use a Catholic perspective.  I know that you did not ask for answers from Catholic brides using NFP, but when you post on a public board, you cannot control who answers.

    I hope that the answers you received gave you food for thought.  Again, everyone who has posted is trying to help you come to a decision.  No one is trying to judge you, we just want to make sure you make the best decision you can.

    Oh, and I wanted everyone to know.  I went to see my family doctor today.  I told her that I switched to NFP, and she told me that she has a lot of patients who use that for birth control with great satisfaction and control.  Huzzah for finding a cool doctor who wasn't quick to judge!
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I fully respect those of you who are choosing to use NFP, but it is not the best method for me, especially considering that my fiance and I are looking at waiting to have children for about seven years.

    again, i dont get the logic.   this statement implies that you think it impossible to go 7 years without a child if you practice NFP but that you are guaranteed to be kid free if you go artificial.

    and to ally, it is absolutely not a sin for you to have sex because you are still open to children.  even a couple who is knowingly barren is not sinning becuase again, tehy are still open to children. nature may be preventing them from having kids, but they themselves are not using artificial means to prevent kids.  also, a couple who is in menopause is not sinning when they have sex.
  • Jasmine&RajahJasmine&Rajah member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    afmilner, I do apologize for misunderstanding.  Since you said that you were hearing conflicting opinions on whether or not contraception was permitted, that led me to believe that you did not know what the Church's teaching was, and so I considered a response citing the Catechism to be absolutely crucial.  (Do you think that you'll discuss this with your future mother-in-law, even though it's something you're not in agreement with the Church on?  It would be a blessing for her to learn, especially if she instructs others in the faith.)

    I still maintain that no one was/is attacking you; I hope you feel the same way.  
  • edited December 2011
    I will mostly stay on the pill till we are ready to try for a baby. We are planning on waiting at least a year before trying and my fiance would rather us move out of the neighborhood we will be living in after the wedding. He's not fond of the area for our children to grow up in. I don't knowhow long we'll be living in that house before we can afford to buy a house in another area, it might be more than a year. So to make sure we don't concieve before we're out of there, I will most likely be staying on the pill. 

    Maya
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  • edited December 2011
    Have you talked to your priest about?  I know that the married couple who did our pre-cana did use birth control their entire marriage, and he later got a vasectomy.  They talked with their priest about it before they did it,...and made their decision off of his words and thoughts. 
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  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:750ab2e6-4a36-40e1-ae3f-90b775bd2fbb">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have you talked to your priest about?  I know that the married couple who did our pre-cana did use birth control their entire marriage, and he later got a vasectomy.  They talked with their priest about it before they did it,...and made their decision off of his words and thoughts. 
    Posted by aclove2lope[/QUOTE]
    wow. God bless and have mercy on that priest.<div>
    </div><div>Matthew 18 :6 "but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."</div><div>--Jesus </div>
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  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:84e46560-f992-4837-a28a-40116f18a373">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone not doing NFP? : wow. God bless and have mercy on that priest. Matthew 18 :6 "but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." --Jesus 
    Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]

    Yes. Good grief.

    A priest has no authority to contradict the Church. And a pre-cana couple sharing that story in any way other than "How sad that we were misled, we really regret that decision" is the height of irresponsibility.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Goodness, I wonder if any training is given to the couples who do EE/pre-cana.  I feel like so many of us had experiences where the couples were giving advice that goes directly against church teachings without any disclaimer or recognition of the implications.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    as ive said before on numerus threads, you sadly cannot always go on the advice of your priest on matters pertaining to church teaching, as priests often have their own personal agendas or thoughts about church teaching.    how awful that that couple received ill advice from their priest. 
  • edited December 2011
    I will not use NFP because it is unreliable. Women typically ovulate about 2 weeks before their period, BUT many women will ovulate sooner or later than expected making this type of "birth control" very risky. If you look around at people who use NFP, a lot of them end up pregnant very quickly, because it's very difficult to do and doesn't always work. If you are a woman who has irregular cycles, I would never recommend using NFP. I have irregular cycles and will not risk pregnancy because the church does not like contraceptives. I can't use hormonal treatments of any kind, but my fiance has said he will use condoms, so that is what we plan on doing. 
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:bb017cf8-c36d-4e8b-bd28-6e9ec2d6eb67">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will not use NFP because it is unreliable. Women typically ovulate about 2 weeks before their period, BUT many women will ovulate sooner or later than expected making this type of "birth control" very risky. If you look around at people who use NFP, a lot of them end up pregnant very quickly, because it's very difficult to do and doesn't always work. If you are a woman who has irregular cycles, I would never recommend using NFP. I have irregular cycles and will not risk pregnancy because the church does not like contraceptives. I can't use hormonal treatments of any kind, but my fiance has said he will use condoms, so that is what we plan on doing. 
    Posted by sweetxpea03[/QUOTE]

    see, this entire post has the facts completely WRONG.   the poster is CLEARLY confusing NFP with Rhythm Method which is extremely ineffective.

    And it isnt difficult to use at all.  Not sure how you can make that judgment when youve never even tried it!
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:bb017cf8-c36d-4e8b-bd28-6e9ec2d6eb67">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will not use NFP because it is unreliable. Women typically ovulate about 2 weeks before their period, BUT many women will ovulate sooner or later than expected making this type of "birth control" very risky. If you look around at people who use NFP, a lot of them end up pregnant very quickly, because it's very difficult to do and doesn't always work. If you are a woman who has irregular cycles, I would never recommend using NFP. I have irregular cycles and will not risk pregnancy because the church does not like contraceptives. I can't use hormonal treatments of any kind, but my fiance has said he will use condoms, so that is what we plan on doing. 
    Posted by sweetxpea03[/QUOTE]

    You're right! Many women don't ovulate on the 14th day exactly.... I've ovulated anywhere between day 13 and day 18 of my cycle... wanna know how I know that? I USE NFP!!!! Been using it for 18 months and HAVE NOT GOTTEN PREGNANT!  How is that possible? Well, because if you use NFP correctly (NOT THE RHYTHM METHOD) you will know when you are fertile and usually when you have ovulated. Therefore, you can determine whether having sex may result in a pregnancy. And can choose to abstain or to go for it.

    Using other forms of BC will NOT tell you when or if you are fertile...

    It's really frustrating when those who haven't done their research have condemned the practice that TONS of ladies use. Go on the Getting Pregnant board and you will see hundreds of ladies - most of them not Catholic - using charting to determine when they can and can't get pregnant. It's not just a Catholic thing. It's scientific, too.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Condoms are way lower effective BC than NFP. They get credit for preventing pregnancy even when 3/4 of the time women can't get pregnant anyway.

    NFP is symptom based, not calendar based. It is FOR women with irregular cycles. I've been charting for 9 years for my health and discoverd health issues that I never would have found if I wasn't charting. NFP is so easy and every woman should be charting to have their own health record.

    As one who is beginning my studies to be an NFP teacher, every case we've looked at where a pregnancy happened was when there was user error or the couple decided to go against the rules. 

    Christ gave himself fully...every part of himself. Marriage is supposed to imitate this with a full gift of self, not a gift of everything except fertility. One wouldn't engage in the marital act only if someone puts a bag over their head, yet intentionally pulling apart another part of the body and withholding is somehow acceptable.
    God has given us the ability to share in divine power by deciding when to create other human beings-- yet we shut Him out by sterilizing. What we do with the body speaks about our soul, because they are not separate.

  • catarntinacatarntina member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anyone-not-doing-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d5a03c93-a38e-4dd0-9daa-c0180815adb6Post:bb017cf8-c36d-4e8b-bd28-6e9ec2d6eb67">Re: Anyone not doing NFP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will not use NFP because it is unreliable. Women typically ovulate about 2 weeks before their period, BUT many women will ovulate sooner or later than expected making this type of "birth control" very risky. If you look around at people who use NFP, a lot of them end up pregnant very quickly, because it's very difficult to do and doesn't always work. If you are a woman who has irregular cycles, I would never recommend using NFP. I have irregular cycles and will not risk pregnancy because the church does not like contraceptives. I can't use hormonal treatments of any kind, but my fiance has said he will use condoms, so that is what we plan on doing.
    Posted by sweetxpea03[/QUOTE]

    FWIW, I have highly irregular cycles.  Anywhere from 18-33 days long, I ovulate any where from day 10 to day 22.  My luteal phase is 8-10 days.  So, I can never *count* days to determine when I will ovulate, when I will get my period, etc.  I chart to see when ovulation is imminent and I abstain until everything else is says it's ok to not abstain.  If you have irregular cycles, charting can actually help diagnose medical issues that may cause your irregular cycles (PCOS, endometriosis, or Luteal Phase Deficiency to name a few).

    Good luck with condoms.  They're only about 85% effective with typical use.  And they're extremely expensive.

    <em>"The typical use pregnancy rate among condom users varies depending on the population being studied, ranging from <strong>10–18%</strong> per year."</em>  Even with perfect use, it has a 2% failure, and trust me... nobody's perfect.

    <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom#In_preventing_pregnancy">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom#In_preventing_pregnancy</a>

    I know 3 people who used condoms and got pregnant due to it being defective, breaking, slipping...   My SIL in being one... "How did you get pregnant? Thought you didn't want another kid."  "The condom broke..."  So, good luck.
    ---------
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