NFP Question

mattylovesmilly

I was prescribed the pill for acne in college, but I always intended to get off it and begin NFP before I get married.  Now that I'm engaged, I happen to be finishing my pill pack this week so today will be my last active pill.

I bought "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" a couple of months ago and have read it, and I made an appointment with an NFP doctor for March.  

Since it happens to be Ash Wednesday tomorrow, I have three questions:

1.  Does anyone have advice about starting NFP and/or discontinuing the pill?

2.  Any suggestions for books to read during Lent about the spiritual side of sex, fertility, etc.?

3.  My fiance is still a little hesitant about using NFP for birth control after we marry (he's got that science mind, you know).  Can anyone refer me to any non-biased medical studies about NFP's effectiveness?

Thanks!

Calypso1977

1. Does anyone have advice about starting NFP and/or discontinuing the pill?
I abstained for about 3 months after i went off the pill.  My doctors (and everyone else) told me my periods would be longer and heavier once i went off the pill.  however, the complete opposite reaction happened.  i now have periods that are about 1 day long, which leads me to think that the pill might have screwed something up in me.  i still appear to be ovulating tho, but ive wondered if an embryo can actually implant and survive in me.  since we havent tried, i dont know.  i also gained 20 pounds when i went off (again, they tell you the pill makes most put on weight, apparently it kept me thin).  i know this sounds all so negative, but its just my experience coming offf 10+ years on the pill.

2. Any suggestions for books to read during Lent about the spiritual side of sex, fertility, etc.?
i dont have any, but i know others here will.

3. My fiance is still a little hesitant about using NFP for birth control after we marry (he's got that science mind, you know). Can anyone refer me to any non-biased medical studies about NFP's effectiveness? 
Heck, i was nervous, but honestly, the book you bought is all science based which is why i liked it.  As with any BC, the responsibility is on the user to use it correctly.  as long as you have confidence in your charts, you will be ok.  we always applied the "when in doubt, dont" - meaning, if i had any doubt that i mis read a temp or mischarted somethign, or i just wasnt sure, we abstained to be on the safe side.  it definiteily requires alot of self control - by nature, you are way more interested in sex during your fertile time.  but i have been so happy to be off the hormones and going the natural route.

good luck!!

Tami87

1. I've never been on the pill so I'm afraid I'm not much help with this one. As far as starting NFP, I would look into what kind of method you want to use (Creighton, Sympto-thermal, Billings, etc). I know the couple-to-couple league has online Sympto-thermal class or you can actually go to a class. Also I believe many woman on here have learned just from reading taking charge of your fertility. I think it may take a little bit for your cycles to become "normal" after going off the pill. So for now I would get into the habbit of charting every day, if you are taking your temp in the mornings start waking up at the same time with a thermometer and notepad or phone app next to your bed.

2. I have heard good things about Theology of the Body for beginners by Christopher West. I enjoyed Holy Sex by Gregory K. Popcak. I'm sure other people will chime in with more suggestions.

3. I don't have any studies to give you off the top of my head, maybe I will search later or let others answer. I understand being science minded, I am too. I would encourage FI to read with you and possibly attend classes together. Hopefully you will both realize NFP is based on science and observing fertility signs.

lalaith50

I find the science issue interesting. Ask yourself...what is medicine exactly? Do you REALLY understand how medicine works? You give yourself a pill and it magically makes you stop ovulating? wth? Isn't that just a whole bunch of hula-ba-loo magic? (Or...at least, that's what it would appear except we have been conditioned to accept "medicine" without even questioning it!) 

Contrast that to the science of NFP, how you can actually *see* your body gearing up to ovulate, and then your temperature shifts, and wow, you know you've ovulated! and then the egg is dead because that's what eggs do after a few hours, and there is absolutely NO WAY your body will release a random egg...so you simply CAN NOT get pregnant!...you should make your FI read TCOYF, and I promise you that he will understand how NFP works MUCH more than how the pill works! (But he will probably still be more comfortable with the pill...but I ask...why? Think about my original science./medicine question!)

professorscience

1.  Does anyone have advice about starting NFP and/or discontinuing the pill?
Take a class if you are confused.  Check with your parish to see if there are any classes around.  I started out with TCOYF and felt very uncertain, so I took a Billings class and now I'm very confident. 
2.  Any suggestions for books to read during Lent about the spiritual side of sex, fertility, etc.?
Good News about Sex and Marriage is a good one.  I'm wanting to get Sex Au Naturel by Patrick Coffin, as well. 
3.  My fiance is still a little hesitant about using NFP for birth control after we marry (he's got that science mind, you know).  Can anyone refer me to any non-biased medical studies about NFP's effectiveness?
Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a non-biased (read: non-Christian) tool for NFP.  Also, Lala summed it up quite well.  I am a biologist, and it is much more scientific to actually study one's body and learn the signs of fertility than to just take a magic bullet to cover up the fertility.  The only thing to be "nervous" about is that you will decide "to heck with it" and have sex when you could possibly get pregnant.  And that's not really a bad thing.

ellen73

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:dc772ecd-4b28-4b79-91f6-9e6f5fe6e64fPost:d00eeaf9-11cd-40dc-9e8c-146f08368d3d">NFP Question</a>:
[QUOTE] 3.  My fiance is still a little hesitant about using NFP for birth control after we marry (he's got that science mind, you know).  Can anyone refer me to any non-biased medical studies about NFP's effectiveness? Thanks!
Posted by mattylovesmilly[/QUOTE]

As a scientist who missed most of a poster session at the last international meeting I attended b/c I was discussing NFP with a scientist friend...  I think I understand the science mind :)  And the meeting was not related to fertility in any way, shape or form.

I suggest reading the NaPro Technology Revolution <a href="Dr. Thomas W. Hilgers " rel="nofollow"></a><a href="http://www.amazon.com/NaPro-Technology-Revolution-Unleashing-Womans/dp/0825306264/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top" rel="nofollow">book</a> clicky.  While it's not unbiased b/c the author is the one who developed Creighton method,  the book reads more like a textbook and has references to the original scientific journal articles.   The author did some relatively simple experiments as a medical student to determine that sperm were more viable in certain types of cervical fluid/mucous produced at predictable times of the month. Other types of cervical fluid/mucous were basically toxic to sperm.  

You could do a pubmed search, too, to find non-biased articles.

agapecarrie

At least for awhile its very likely that your cycles will be screwed up coming off of the pill. It will be difficult to chart. Don't give up.

TOB for beginners and Good news about sex and marriage by christopher West

NFP is more effective at avoiding pregnancy than any abc. Also, all hormonal bc has potential to be abortive.  Creighton method has scientific observation and standardized teaching if that's helpful.

professorscience

A lot of people don't believe that NFP is effective because they either don't understand a woman's cycle, or they don't believe that a couple could abstain from sex during a fertile period.  It has a lot to do with self-control, and in this age of instant gratification, most people don't want to exercise self control.

I have a lot of people who use that excuse to tell me that I'm crazy for practicing NFP.  Even a very good friend of mine, who is a med school candidate, just does not trust that he could practice NFP (and really, if I was a guy not abstaining from sex, I suppose I wouldn't want to just trust my partner that she was indeed infertile).  But for a married couple (or even an unmarried woman), it is indeed just as effective as any artificial kind of birth control.  If you read "real" data on condoms and pills, you'll find that their success rate is actually around 75% or lower, with the failures attributed to user error.  The only "error" in NFP is if you don't know what you are doing (just like condoms or pills) or you know the risks and you have sex anyway.

Calypso1977

 (and really, if I was a guy not abstaining from sex, I suppose I wouldn't want to just trust my partner that she was indeed infertile).

i could possibly see this in an unmarried relationship, but i would really hope that in a marriage, one could trust their partner to not trick them into getting pregnant.

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:dc772ecd-4b28-4b79-91f6-9e6f5fe6e64fPost:e79a227a-54e2-4dc0-b46d-7448225afcc2">Re: NFP Question</a>:
[QUOTE] (and really, if I was a guy not abstaining from sex, I suppose I wouldn't want to just trust my partner that she was indeed infertile). i could possibly see this in an unmarried relationship, but i would really hope that in a marriage, one could trust their partner to not trick them into getting pregnant.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

That's what I meant.   =)  I'm sorry if it didn't come across correctly.

ElisabethJoanne

The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has mentions of NFP on its public web site. Also search for "rhythm method" and "fertility awareness" if you can't find "natural family planning" easily. [They're just search terms.] I know there was a presentation on NFP at their annual meeting in 2010 or 2011, but the notes are not easily available to normal people. Someone with a university library account may be able to find them.

MedStudent13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:dc772ecd-4b28-4b79-91f6-9e6f5fe6e64fPost:dbbdafc4-4c2f-4e76-8bc3-f2cc1d0f0c3c">Re: NFP Question</a>:
[QUOTE]A lot of people don't believe that NFP is effective because they either don't understand a woman's cycle, or they don't believe that a couple could abstain from sex during a fertile period.  It has a lot to do with self-control, and in this age of instant gratification, most people don't want to exercise self control. I have a lot of people who use that excuse to tell me that I'm crazy for practicing NFP. 
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]<div>
 That's pretty much what I've heard when I try to explain the basics of NFP to my nonmarried sexually active (or even Protestant) friends. The fact of the matter is that NFP is every bit as effective as other methods of preventing pregnancy, the only difference is that NFP is pretty much designed for a marriage relationship only. </div><div>
</div>

newlyseliski

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:dc772ecd-4b28-4b79-91f6-9e6f5fe6e64fPost:d00eeaf9-11cd-40dc-9e8c-146f08368d3d">NFP Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I was prescribed the pill for acne in college, but I always intended to get off it and begin NFP before I get married.  Now that I'm engaged, I happen to be finishing my pill pack this week so today will be my last active pill. I bought "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" a couple of months ago and have read it, and I made an appointment with an NFP doctor for March.   Since it happens to be Ash Wednesday tomorrow, I have three questions: 1.  Does anyone have advice about starting NFP and/or discontinuing the pill? 2.  Any suggestions for books to read during Lent about the spiritual side of sex, fertility, etc.? 3.  My fiance is still a little hesitant about using NFP for birth control after we marry (he's got that science mind, you know).  Can anyone refer me to any non-biased medical studies about NFP's effectiveness? Thanks!
Posted by mattylovesmilly[/QUOTE]

1)  Give yourself some time after you go off the pill for your cycle to normalize!  I took it initially for medical reasons and as soon as I went off of it... I had a 3-week perood :-(

2)  "Holy Sex" by Greg Popacek is great!  Of course, Christopher West's Theology of the Body commentaries are good... I'd also recommend checking out the "Living the Sacrament" blog and forums.  I haven't been on there too much yet, but what I've seen of it so far is great and I've already gotten some great advice or feedback from experienced NFP-ers about weird quirks or other things.

3)  Heheh... unbiased studies...  I don't think they exist... or maybe I'm just too lazy to look for them :-)  All methods of NFP or artificial contraception are prone to user "error."  Of the 10+ couples I know that are practicing NFP that are TTA, so far none have conceived.

sigmaurse

My fiance and I are in our NFP class at this time. We are 2/3rds of the way thru the class. The statistics in the book are that it's just as effective as the pill and other barrier methods and it's not going to hurt your body! I think if your fiance goes into the class with an open mind, he will understand the science behind it and really like it. It is science based on the way the human body works and doesn't have horrible side affects and possibly kill your unborn baby once conceived. 

Attending a NFP class is usually one part of the requirement to get married into the Catholic Church. Best of luck!

lalaith50

[QUOTE]Even a very good friend of mine, who is a med school candidate, just does not trust that he could practice NFP (and really, if I was a guy not abstaining from sex, I suppose I wouldn't want to just trust my partner that she was indeed infertile). 
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]
And yet they trust their partner to take a pill every day? sigh.

Calypso1977

And yet they trust their partner to take a pill every day? sigh.

i suppose one could watch the person take the pill every day....or at the very least ask/remind them.  there is definiteily more room for human error with NFP.  but yes, i see your point lala.

catarntina

1.) Go off the pill and start tracking as soon as you can.  It'll probably take 2-3 months for your cycles to somewhat normalize.  All though, mine never really did "normalize."

2.) I really liked Good News About Sex and Marriage by West.

3.)  TCOYF is a great, non-biased resource.  I also recommend taking a class if you can find one.  It really helped both me and my DH realize that this was scientific and not just the old rhythm method.

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-question-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:dc772ecd-4b28-4b79-91f6-9e6f5fe6e64fPost:dcda66a8-ef41-4e99-9967-0c4d2cfc062b">Re: NFP Question</a>:
[QUOTE]And yet they trust their partner to take a pill every day? sigh.
Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]

Well, the man could wear a condom, which he physically controls, and I think that's really where his confidence/lack of confidence comes in.  I didn't really want to get into the details.  ;)

And yeah, he totally gets that NFP works and that H and I are going to have children when we want them (well, hopefully).  For him to accept NFP he's also going to have to accept sex within the confines of a monogamous (hopefully married) relationship.

katy0990

I can totally relate. My FI wants to check out the class and then determine whether he would be comfortable with it.I am going to read some books to educate us as well.

sigmaurse

I just finished the class this week through the couple to couple league. What is nice about what they teach is it's the symptothermal method so it takes into account more then one thing when deciding if you are fertile or not and it's all based on science and how your body works. Like other's have posted it's more effective at preventing pregnancy if you understand it and do it correctly. They actually teach it to people who are having a hard time getting pregnant and they have a great success rate once they use NFP to track their fertility. There shouldn't be a trust issue with your partner about if they are fertile or not. You should be trusting the person you are marrying and if you don't then shouldn't you reconsider marrying them?! Also, it's for both you and your fiance. Class is taught to the couple and you can both practice it together. My fiance is better with interpretiing the charts then I am so he may be more active in doing that once we are married. That way we will both be involved. Now since we are living apart and not seeing each other every day he asks me if I have taken my temp or not etc. We are doing it together and we aren't even married yet. You should attend the class, he shouldn't be skeptical after attending class if he really listen's to the instructor's. Good luck!

I'll also add that the birth control pill can cause an abortion. I didn't know this awhile ago but it doesn't just prevent pregnancy, it prevents a fertilized egg from being able to attach to the uterus to get nutrient's and you have an abortion before you even know you are pregnant. So sad that many people aren't even away of this! Luckily while I was on the pill I wasn't having sex so it didn't matter whether it caused abortions or not, I was just using it for medical reason's but I'm so glad to be off of it now. It has lots of bad side effects.