Help!

shawna127

 

•Hey ladies,
sorry this is not catholic related but you guys always give such great advice!  My FMIL gave me her wedding dress to use and it’s pretty (very simple but pretty) and nice material.  However I already had my eye on a dress and it was more princessy lol  should I just use hers or buy the one I already looked at and loved.  My godmother is really good with material so she could alter and add to it, which would be cheaper (but the dress I picked out isn’t that expensive).  My FMIL said she wouldn’t be hurt if I didn’t use it but I feel bad for not wanting to use it (I really, really like my FMIL she is a great gal). I don’t know what to do.

So here is the question:  Should I buy the dress I was looking at or use FMIL and add to it?

Thank you in advance )

Calypso1977

i would buy the dress you want, and graciously thank her for the offer.  i dont think you shoudl feel obligated to wear her dress, adn if you alter it so much that it doesnt look like her dress anymore, what's the point?  (im totally envisioning that scene in 27 dresses!).

if she wants the gown used in some way for sentimental purpsoes, you could always have a christening gown made from it when you have your first child.  that's what i plan to do with my wedding dress if/when the time comes.

Riss91

I think you should wear the dress that you want to wear. If your MIL turned around and said "ya know what, I'd rather keep my dress preserved as-is, do you mind not wearing it?" would you feel relieved? If so, you shouldn't wear it.

Something you could do, is display her dress (and others in your or your FI's families) at the cocktail hour/reception. Or just "accessories" like the veil, headpiece, etc. This is what I did using my mother's and grandmother's wedding attire and I also had framed photos on display from their weddings (it was my guestbook table).  That would be a way to honor and show off the dress without actually wearing it.

shawna127

Thank you guys I will probably just tell her I won't use it.  But I really like the displaying and christening gown ideas...I've never heard of either one! I knew you guys could help.  I don't think she'll be upset I just felt bad.  She didn't want it to go to waste and thought it was really nice material so I'm sure she'd love the christening gown idea!  Also, my mom had me try on hers too, to see if I wanted to use it so I will definitely think about the displaying.  Thanks for your help, you guys are great! )

Hope61

Ditto to everyone above, and also, maybe after declining to wear the dress, you could ask for her veil/a necklace/etc.?

shawna127

Oh that's a good idea Datie!...I would never think of these things, thank you ! )