We're taking ours next weekend, and I'm curious -- what's it like? What do they ask you about? What happens if your answers don't match up with your fiance's? (Not too worried about that part for myself, but I'm really curious what happens when it does!)
Re: FOCCUS test
I would be surprised if all 144 or whatever questions of you and FI's matched up, but the next steps are you sit down with our priest (in our case, I dunno if that's everywhere) but you discuss the questions. We haven't done this part yet but I already talked to my uncle (our priest) and he said that is what we are going to do.
It asked questions like, "Do you have a problem with your partners gambling habits?"
"Do you agree on the number of children you want to have?"
The point is to flush out potential issues *NOW* before you're married, so you're not getting a divorce later when you find out you can't handle your husband's gambling addiction, or you want 1 kid and your H wants 17.
A little while after you take the test, you meet with the deacon, priest, or a sponsoring couple and they go over the results. They have a chart that says what typical answers "should" be and if deviate from the typical answer, they ask you questions about it. We had things that were flagged for discussion. But we had already talked about most of those things -- heck, some of them we talked about before we even started dating.
1. The responses are "agree" "disagree" and "unsure." Just so you are prepared when you take it.
2. It should really not be called a "Test" because you cannot really fail it. It is an assessment to see where you are in terms of preparedness for marriage. Have you had the tough conversations? If not, can we facilitate having them so that any problems are solved now rather than becoming issues during the marriage.
3. There are some items that are seen as red flags (threats of violence, for example). These might not prevent you from marrying, but they may prompt encouragement of more counseling sessions or private questioning.
4. Be prepared to read carefully! Some of the items are worded in ways to really make you think about what they are saying.
And ditto the others on what it is used for. Not a big deal. Just answer the questions honestly and you will be fine.
Ditto PP's about reading over questions carefully
There is a special section at the end for "cohabitation couples" don't even bother trying to lie and say you don't live together. We didn't lie but had friends who did just because the Catholic Church frowns upon it and they got caught in the lie and felt like big fat idiots when the Deacon called them out on it.
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