Priest Questions

divinemsbee

I'm in a little bit of a conundrum. When I first talked to the priest at the church I'm getting married in, he asked if we had any other celebrant in mind or if we wanted him to celebrate it. I said we didn't have anyone else in mind because we didn't, at the time, and because I'm already coordinating the marriage stuff from a distance and didn't want to bring another priest into it. 

So, now, my mom has said that she'd really prefer another priest celebrate the wedding, and I have two other options, the priest that was chaplain of my high school or a high-school classmate of mine who has entered the priesthood. I'm really fine with whomever doing it, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Should I call the priest at the church I'm getting married at first to let him know that we'd like to bring in another celebrant? Or do I call/facebook (yes, they both have it) one of the other priests and then talk to the priest at the church? Both of the other priests have said Masses at the church I'm getting married in (one was the pastor until a few years ago). I just don't know who to contact first. Add to that that I'm out of town and we're doing all of our marriage prep here. Advice?

bibliophile2010

Do you and/or your fiance prefer that someone else celebrate the mass? Why does your mom want someone else to celebrate? I think this is a decision that should be between you and your fiance unless your mom has a particularly good reason for her feelings. If you guys are comfortable with the priest you already have lined up, just go with it.

If either of you want to change, it is a decision you should make together. If that's the route you decide to take, I would contact the new person to see if they are even available (since you already have the church booked and ball rolling on a certain date). If so, I would bring it up to the priest you are already working with in a gentle manner and make appropriate arrangements from there.

divinemsbee

This is going to sound awful, but I really and truly do not care. We'll be going through our pre-Cana here (here is TX) with a priest at the church I just started going to; he's nice enough and I like him. The priest at the church we're getting married at (MS) is a pretty nice guy, I don't love his sermons and my mom hates his voice (it is a very annoying voice), hence why she wants it to be someone else. I'm kind of just in a take what you're given mode about it because I'm already doing everything long-distance and the priest there is being really cool about it. I'm worried that if I ask another priest, especially the high-school friend, that they'll want a lot more from me in terms of time with my FI and I, and I don't know if I'll be able to make that happen. The old chaplain from my hs gives truly amazing sermons, but he's in a town about 2 hours from where the wedding would be, and I'd hate for him to have to drive back. We also don't really have the money for an honorarium for another priest. 

I think if money was no object and I was living there where I could actually meet with people, then I would have another priest, but right now it's just one.more.thing.

ElisabethJoanne

Contact the first Priest with just a "heads-up, following a family request, we're considering having another Priest officiate. We'll let you know when things are more settled." This gives him an opportunity to inform you of any canonical issues you might not be aware of. Then contact one of the other priests and see what would be involved in having him officiate.

IF this is something you want to take on. When my future in-laws started asking for changes in our ceremony, my fiance and I discussed it and told them they'd have to pay for and research their requests. I wasn't taking on more planning tasks or expenses 7 months into planning. It's totally fine to tell your mother you don't have time for double marriage-prep, nor think it's necessary, and if she wants a priest she knows better, she should get to know the first one.

Iggy85

This may sound rude, but I don't think you should choose someone else just because "he has annoying voice." He didn't choose that voice, so it shouldn't bother you.

With that being said, write down the names of the priest on a piece of paper, and draw them out of a hat. The one you choose is the priest you use...lol. Just kidding!