It’s been awhile since I have posted on the boards L so I will re-introduce myself briefly… My name is Kara and my fiancé and I live in Ithaca. We’re getting married at Ventosa Vineyards on August 18th, 2012.
Ok problem at hand – I have a crazy bridesmaid. We have been friends since we were in elementary school. She got married this past summer and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. I think I was a good bridesmaid – came in from out of town for every event and never argued with her and just did as I was told. However, she has yet to realize that it is no longer her wedding day and that now it is time for some of her friends to get started on their own wedding planning. She was very secretive about everything she did during her planning process including refusing to show us her dress until the day of. I put that behind me and decided to ask her to go wedding dress shopping with me. She came the first time, but I went back out a second time and she couldn’t make it that day and that was the day that I found my dress. I think she is bitter that she wasn’t there for it and that another one of our friends was. I made the mistake of telling her what dress it was so that she could google it to see it since the store didn’t allow us to take photos and I have since learned that she is showing people my dress (my friends back home) and complaining that my dress looks like hers – WHO DOES THAT? You would think that she would be respectful of me since she kept hers a secret until the day of. And I’ve got news for her…. Most dresses these days look alike or at least have things in common (95% are strapless, white, sparkly)! We can choose anything we want for a wedding dress and… I chose what I liked and it’s not like I went out shopping and was like I need to find a dress like hers! This is supposed to be such a happy thing and she’s turned into something so miserable and I’m not even excited anymore L
This also isn’t the only thing that she’s done, but this was the breaking point and I can’t take it anymore – she needs to be put in her place! She is someone who views weddings as being a competition… I feel that everything she asks me about is just so that she can know if her wedding was better or not. She was all about the wedding because that meant that she got to be the center of attention and unlike her I don’t really care to be the center of attention and I don’t view it as being a competition at ALL! It is a day for FI and I to share our love and to bring our family and friends together… it is the one day that we will have almost everyone that we care about in one place! She wasn’t always like this, but she’s become someone completely different. She always needs to get her way and her DH just gives into whatever she asks for and is not helping her improve her attitude at all. She’s been complaining about everything that I’ve planned so far ,which isn’t much so that has me worried that if it is this bad now and we haven’t done much planning yet… how bad is it going to get and that is why I need to put my foot down. Also the worst part is that she hasn’t said anything about the dress or the wedding to my face so I’ve had to hear this from other people at home. I want people in my wedding that are supportive and excited for me not trying to bring me down… this is supposed to be such an exciting time! My question is has anyone else to deal with a bridezilla that turned into a friendzilla after their wedding? And what is the best way to go about talking to her? I hate confrontation so I usually try and avoid it at all costs so I could really use some advice! Thanks!