Rant

raes19

So today in the mail I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding. I wasn't even aware that she was dating someone, let alone in a serious enough relationship to be getting married. The date for the wedding is 9/10/11. Yeah I understand wanting a silly date like that, but I'm getting married on October 8th, so the date really irritated me. Besides, who sends out actual invitations over 4 months in advance? The RSVP date is August 12, and I'm pretty sure I'll lose the response card before then.

kevinandmonica2011

Umm.... hi.  Usually people start with an intro before they rant.

Name?  Fi?  Something about your wedding? 

I may be the minority, but I don't really get the irritation.  So... she's getting married a month before you...?   It's not the end of the world.  Even if she got married a week before you (gasp) there would still be a million different aspects of your wedding that will make it unique and special... starting with you and your groom.... no two weddings will ever be the same.  Chances are her choice of a date (esp a "significant" date like 9/10/11) has absolutely nothing to do with you.... I seriously doubt she is out to steal your thunder

I never get why people get all snippy about other people's wedding ideas/date, etc.  Why not be happy for her and excited about the idea that now you have a cousin going through the same stage in life at the same time... you 2 could even help each other through the ups and downs of planning.

The early invite is a little odd, but really.... if people lose the RSVPs or forget or whatever, that's her problem.

ETA: chage "after" to "before".  oops.  duh

acmj11

I have to say I agree with Monica.  Take a step back and think about things from your cousin's perspective.  She's probably so excited to get married on the "fun" date she chose, and is enjoying planning her wedding just as you are enjoying planning yours.  Be happy for her!  Does it really matter that her date is about a month before yours?  As for her invitations being out this early, that is weird.  Maybe you could direct her to The Knot for some helpful tips!

raes19

I've already introduced myself here on the CNY boards, I didn't think it was neccesary to do it again.

I'm just annoyed because my fiance and I have been together for 6 years and he is very much a part of my family. My cousin on the other hand has only been dating this guy for a few months, and with the exception of her parents and siblings, no one in our family even knew the guy existed. And it's not like we don't see each other or anything, our family is pretty close.

DondadaTimes2

I take offense to the "silly date like 9/10/11". FI and I originally had that as our date and changed it to better fit my school schedule.

You're being a baby. It doesnt matter who has been with who the longest. My sisters getting married 5 months to the day after me. FI and I have been together 3 yrs, shes been with hers 1.5. Big freakin whoop. You plan yours, shell plan hers, and you get over it. You get a day, a DAY! Not the whole freakin year.

Now youve irritated me. Welcome to the board. If you introduce yourself then disappear for a few months. Re-introduce yourself. We dont remember you.

raes19

I didn't disappear for a few months, I only started posting a few weeks ago. And I take offense to being called a "baby" and find name calling to be pretty immature.

I labeled the thread "rant" and that is what I came here to do. So please forgive me if me needing an anonymous place to vent has got you all bent out of shape.

DondadaTimes2

So b/c you label it "rant" I cant be honest. You came to the wrong place. And if you act like a baby, Ill call you a baby. Try that rant on any of the international boards...you'll hear worse.

While I understand the need to rant once in a while, we dont know you and if you pay any attention to this board, you'd know that we dont care to listen to people we dont know whine. And we certainly dont do well with "ranting"that offends others...as I told you you did.

So again, who are you? Tell us about your wedding. Or go somewhere else...

DondadaTimes2

I found your post introducing yourself. So Ill apologize for that. But I was still offended and I still think youre acting like the year is for you. Its not.

Monicas invite due dates were set for a few weeks before mine went out. Im getting married first. No biggie. To each his own.

kevinandmonica2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:fa414a5a-99c7-4322-b67e-34a1a0cc0c32Post:8e8b9ac9-1c69-4a9b-a09d-0f133060b395">Re: Rant</a>:
[QUOTE]I've already introduced myself here on the CNY boards, I didn't think it was neccesary to do it again. <strong>I'm just annoyed because my fiance and I have been together for 6 years and he is very much a part of my family. My cousin on the other hand has only been dating this guy for a few months, and with the exception of her parents and siblings, no one in our family even knew the guy existed. And it's not like we don't see each other or anything, our family is pretty close.
</strong>Posted by raes19[/QUOTE]

Ok.... now you're being even more ridiculous than your original post.  Please stop. 

Just because you have been together longer does not make your relationship or future marriage any more important or special than anyone else's.  

sbolger17

Hi, OP.  OK, I might be in the minority here, but as someone in a similar situation, I can relate.  My cousin got engaged way after me (like, 6 months after) and set their wedding date for 3 weeks before mine with an engagement that will be way under a year long.  And my cousin is only 22 years old.  I was pretty annoyed for a little bit, but now I just try not to think about it.  Unfortunately, I won't be able to go to their wedding (it's in MO) and I doubt they'll be able to come to mine.  The only really bad part is the family now has to travel to 2 different weddings (or decide not to go to one or both).  But I'm already sort of used to the wedding date drama by now b/c we have 4 weddings between August 27 and October 1!! 

I hope that everyone you care about is still able to go to your wedding.  I think it just takes time to get over the date shock.  I'm definitely doing a lot better with it than I was at first.

raes19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:fa414a5a-99c7-4322-b67e-34a1a0cc0c32Post:fb9b229f-e3b7-4035-a82c-9aebf9e3940f">Re: Rant</a>:
[QUOTE]And my cousin is only 22 years old.[/QUOTE]

Mine is 20 and this is the first relationship she has ever been in. Talk about all or nothing sheesh.

[QUOTE]The only really bad part is the family now has to travel to 2 different weddings (or decide not to go to one or both).  [/QUOTE]

This is what I'm worried about too. I don't think it is fair to make people choose, and a lot of them won't be able to afford to travel twice in less than a month. There are people that might just not come to either because of that reason, which really makes me sad because I really want them to be there.

sbolger17

Well, I hope your cousin knows what she's doing and that it all ends well!

I'm trying not to worry about the family part too much because there's nothing I can do.  Hopefully they'll all decide that my wedding will be the best one to go to.  (I definitely think so!)  There are some people that I know will come to mine no matter what and some that I wasn't sure were going to come in the first place, so my cousin's wedding makes it more unlikely for them.

My MOH had the same thing happen to her with a female cousin with a short engagement getting married a few weeks before her.  She was really upset about it at the time.  But her wedding was beautiful and she's totally over it now.

Anyways, I feel your pain and I promise that it will get better!