Changing names...or not?

ellybelly4

So right now I am in somewhat of a dilemma:  I don't want to change my name.

For as long as I can remember, I have never wanted to change my last name when I get married.  For one, I personally don't think it is fair that women are expected to change their last name.  I know that women have been doing this forever and it's part of our culture to do so, but I still am not crazy about it.   Plus I really like my last name.  I don't want to hyphenate it either because it sounds ridiculous (Momsen-Johnson, yeah, not cool!).  Finally, I just graduated from grad school and earned a doctorate in my name and would like to keep it that way.  My fiance said he would prefer if I changed my name, but he is also somewhat understanding if I decide not to.  But I can tell he deep down wishes I'd become a Johnson.  And I even asked him if he was willing to change his last name to mine, and he laughed....so I take that as a "hell no!"   So....what do you girls think?  Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to change it?? 

Elisa

RhiannonMichele

I don't think your being unreasonable at all. Alot of girls that have earned degrees like yours want to keep their names just for simplicities sake. I think you should keep it but if FI really wants you to change it I would look at hypenating it or maybe merge them and you both change your last names...make up a new one! I've heard of that before.
GL! HTH!

honeybear25

I don't think it's being rediculuos or even unheard of at all!!  What about a slight compromise and you change it legally but still go by your maiden name professionally??  That way I guess you would still be called by your maiden name and your new husband can call you mrs. Johnson whenever he likes as well   Good luck!

ktbo

I'm in the same boat.  Getting my doctorate with my maiden name and i don't really want to change it.    My fiance is fine as long as the kids have his name, so the plan is to see how I feel about it after the wedding.  I'll graduate about 4 months before the wedding so I will be able to use my maiden name professionally which is what I really wanted to do, so we'll see if 4 months is enough, or I may keep my name until we have children and change it at that point.     I don't want my kids to have to explain why we don't have the same last name . . but thats the traditional side of me coming out

Kayla*Marie

My cousin changed her middle name to her maiden name and took his last name. She goes by her maiden (and now middle name) professionally. Just a thought.