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Honeymoon

How are you paying for your honeymoon?

2

Re: How are you paying for your honeymoon?

  • I have to agree with most of what has been said on here, but I would like to make a suggestion that I haven't seen.  Rethink what a honeymoon is.  It's supposed to bea vacation that the two of you take to have some time to yourselves.  I have had several friends completely skip the whole major travel idea, and instead wait a few months and do something much smaller.  One couple lived bear Boston and spent a weekend in Maine.  Another couple rented a room at a B&B in their own town, later saying it was wonderful.

    You seem very surprised at the possibility of waiting, but it's actually very common, even if not within your circle of friends.  A teacher at my school got married this past October, but is not going on a honeymoon until the summer because it's a better scheduling fit.

    As for me, we are paying for our wedding ourselves.  My parents are 'gifting' us the honeymoon...not because they have the money to do so, but because my father travels extensively and is using airline and hotel points to cover it.  Everything else (food, entertainment, etc.) is on us.  I feel very grateful, but would never have asked for this in a million years.

    Good luck.  I'm sure you'll figure it out.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We saved and paid for it on our own.

    Never asked MIL for any money.  Never thought to either.

    I get being jealous that others get to take a HM right after the wedding and you can't. I really do.  But that life.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • There are some girls (interns) at my work that are getting married in a similar situation as you. I mean that they're graduating in may and getting married that fall. We definitely couldn't have done that after I graduated last year. And although it sucked, we moved our wedding date to 2012. We're paying for everything ourselves, including our honeymoon (which we are taking 1-3 months after the wedding).

    My point is, that it was your decision to get married right out of school. You are incredibly lucky to have your wedding paid for. I get the fact that being in college, you tend to be broke. Maybe you wouldn't be having this problem if you had chosen a different date (which is a moot point, but a very grown-up decision).
  • No one is responsible for paying for your wedding nor your honeymoon but you and FI. If you can't afford it yourself, then maybe you don't need to go on one.  How rude of you to expect someone else to pay for a trip for you.  Save your money and pay for it, that's how most people do it.  You asked.
  • I've never actually heard of the groom's parents paying for the honeymoon. We are paying for the RD and the honeymoon ourselves. My parents (God bless them) are paying for the wedding. We're also not going on a honeymoon until the summer after our wedding. We really wanted a fall wedding, but I'm a teacher and don't have two weeks to take off in October. We decided to wait until summer. We can focus on one thing at a time and it gives us more time to save money. I was a little disappointed at first, but it wasn't devastating. I think it just keeps the celebration going! Take a few days to relax together, then plan your dream honeymoon for later. (It's the marriage that's important, not the wedding and honeymoon...although they are fun.)
  • The grooms parents paying for the honeymoon is so old school get with the times!!  If you want to go on a honeymoon save for it.  And if you can't afford it now then you don't go as simple as that!!  Be grateful that your parents are paying for your wedding.  You can always take a minimoon to a hotel for 3 nights.  If it is that important that you go on the HM right after your wedding then wait longer to get married so you can save for your honeymoon.
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  • we are going to spend 2 nights in a hotel somewhere close and then go on our honeymoon in Aug. we are getting married in June. So it will seem like we went on one but didnt. I would also say you never know until you ask. My parents wanted to help but I didnt think they could afford it when they really could. 
    Almost Mrs. Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My FI and I are going to a Sandals resort. Check out their website - they have great deals on rooms and airfare. Plus you only have to put a portion of the price down at first. Then you can pay in payments. This has helped my FI and I better budget the trip.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm going to try to be as helpful as possible here.. I understand the hysteria of "oh my gosh, how are we going to pay for all of this" because neither my family, nor my FI's family have a lot of money. We're doing this %100 on our own. We don't expect anyone to pay for anything.. so we've been taking every little spare $20 we have and it's gotten us there on our projected payment schedule. I know it's super tough, but we're making it work.

    My FI suggested we put off our honeymoon, and I wasn't too hot on it either, but we came up with a solution that should help us (at least a little bit). Along with saving up, we've created a honeyfund.. it's basically a gift registry to help with your honeymoon in place of any kind of tangible gifts. Neither one of us are overly materialistic people, and I've owned a home for almost three years.. so it's only logical that we ditch the new mixer I might like to have or the record player we'd like for the living room, and ask that any gifts go to where we really need it the most. I know that we won't be able to rely on this %100, but if you check out the honeymoon registries, they're done pretty classy.

    We are not including the link to the honeyfund in our invitations. We will have an insert card that directs people to our wedding website through here, which will have a place to RSVP, and if they get froggy and decide they want to give us a gift, the honeyfund info is also included on the website.

    PS: We also compromised and went somewhere kind of unusual for our honeymoon. We're hitting up Washington DC because we can drive (its a long drive.. but not as $$ as a flight.. and there is a lot of free stuff to do in DC). This has helped with the cost.. looks like we can pull it off with about $1500. So, even if the honeyfund is a flop, it's manageable.
  • In Response to Re: How are you paying for your honeymoon?:
    [QUOTE]I agree that it would be rude to ask either set of parents to pay for your honeymoon. If anyone offers to help, of course you can graciously accept their offer. There's no polite way to ask for money though. We paid for our own honeymoon. We figured out what we could afford on our own and planned a trip within that budget. If we had been in your position, we would have waited to to take a trip until we could afford to pay for it. IMO, it would be more devastating to start off our marriage with unnecessary debt than to wait some extra time before we took a vacation.
    Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]

    Ditto all of this.
  • We're also just getting done w/school/getting on our feet so I know where you're coming from. We knew there was no way we could pay for a wedding AND a honeymoon even w/the help of our families so we decided to wait. We're getting married in Dec. and will go on our honeymoon in Jun/July. At first I was bummed but now I'm excited because it takes off a lot of stress and gives us something to look forward to after the wedding. We're going to save up in those 6 months and use any money we get as gifts at the wedding for our honeymoon. It really was the best option for us so that we could get the honeymoon we wanted w/o stress/loans/etc.

    Vacation
  • Your VERY fortunate to have parents that are funding your entire wedding...MOST people pay for at least a portion themselves, if not the entire thing.
    It is noone elses responsibility but yours and your fiances to pay for your honeymoon, a honeymoon is not required for you to get married, but if its not practical, then you wait..thats what adults do. if you want mommy and daddy to pay for it, you definitly should not be getting married - its time to take responsibility for yourselves.
    You can go to a nice, all inclusive resort for a week for $1000/person... if not less than that if you look.
    and over the past year of my wedding planning...trust me, youd be surprised how much money you can save up if you put your minds to it. Cut out dinners out, dont go to movies etc. skip getting your hair done, dont buy new clothes, shop no-name... Any extra money we have (overtime, gifts) goes towards our honeymoon fund, now that we have all the money for the wedding saved (after over a year of intense saving and budgetting), and it adds up FAST!
    If you have to postpone it for a month...so be it, thats life.
    A good budget is key...tough? yes. worth it? totally.
    good luck! you can do it, think of this as you and FI's first financial hurdle...there will be many more throughout your marriage, might as well start now.

  • In Response to Re: How are you paying for your honeymoon?:
    [QUOTE]I'm going to try to be as helpful as possible here.. I understand the hysteria of "oh my gosh, how are we going to pay for all of this" because neither my family, nor my FI's family have a lot of money. We're doing this %100 on our own. We don't expect anyone to pay for anything.. so we've been taking every little spare $20 we have and it's gotten us there on our projected payment schedule. I know it's super tough, but we're making it work. My FI suggested we put off our honeymoon, and I wasn't too hot on it either, but we came up with a solution that should help us (at least a little bit). Along with saving up, we've created a honeyfund.. it's basically a gift registry to help with your honeymoon in place of any kind of tangible gifts. Neither one of us are overly materialistic people, and I've owned a home for almost three years.. so it's only logical that we ditch the new mixer I might like to have or the record player we'd like for the living room, and ask that any gifts go to where we really need it the most. I know that we won't be able to rely on this %100, but if you check out the honeymoon registries, they're done pretty classy. We are not including the link to the honeyfund in our invitations. We will have an insert card that directs people to our wedding website through here, which will have a place to RSVP, and if they get froggy and decide they want to give us a gift, the honeyfund info is also included on the website. PS: We also compromised and went somewhere kind of unusual for our honeymoon. We're hitting up Washington DC because we can drive (its a long drive.. but not as $$ as a flight.. and there is a lot of free stuff to do in DC). This has helped with the cost.. looks like we can pull it off with about $1500. So, even if the honeyfund is a flop, it's manageable.
    Posted by Greyeyedmonster[/QUOTE]
    This is the same as asking for cash and even worse than OP asking FI's parents pay for the honeymoon. With a HM registry you are asking your guest to give cash to pay for your honeymoon. Asking for cash gifts is never appropriate even when you disguise the request as a HM registry. 
    People already know that cash is a great gift and don't need to be asked for it.
  • Two words...Honeymoon Registry!  We're using www.Travelersjoy.com.  It's been amazing so far and, for us, it's way better than getting a blender, set of sheets, mixing bowls, etc...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I agree it is rude and entitled to expect your FI parents to pay for your HM.  If they offer - that's one thing, but you shouldn't ask.  As far as taking out a loan to pay for your HM - really?????  Is it THAT important that you'd put yourself into debt (or more debt) for a HM???? 

    We did it the old fashioned way - we saved up for it and didn't expect anyone to foot the bill for our HM. 
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  • In Response to Re: How are you paying for your honeymoon?:
    [QUOTE]Two words...Honeymoon Registry!  We're using www.Travelersjoy.com .  It's been amazing so far and, for us, it's way better than getting a blender, set of sheets, mixing bowls, etc...
    Posted by Abca13[/QUOTE]

    oh dear lord.
  • I'm sorry but it's things like this that make me REALLY irritated with girls who get married so young.  I know they're not representative of ALL young brides, but seriously, OP sounds like a childish little brat.  You aren't paying for a wedding but can't afford to take any kind of honeymoon?  How the heck do you plan on actually living?  Have you ever maintained a household, or paid bills, or held a steady job?  Why the rush to get married immediately after graduating? Those other things are MUCH more important than getting married and having a big party and a fancy vacation.  Work on yourself and your life first.  Jeez...
  • She's not THAT young (assuming she's a traditional college student). 22 is old enough to get married. I agree with your other points about a job, household, ect. I'm sure there's people out there who can't do those things and their much older though.  I personally wouldn't have been ready, which is why I will be 25 when we get married. 

    I'm not saying I'm on the posters side by any means, but no need to focus on her age.
  • edited December 2011
    Im 22...my parents offered to pay for a bit of the wedding, but were paying for 90% of it AND our honeymoon ourselves...Nothing to do with her age.. I know people who got married at MUCH older (like 35!) and were just as childish as OP in regards to their wedding finances.
    Clearly this woman just doesnt want to take responsibility for herself and doesnt grasp the fact that getting married is an ADULT decision. greeeeedy.

  • artjrfartjrf member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Hey! First, I agree with most of the posts about you being VERY fortunate that your parents are paying for your wedding. WoW!!! My future hubby and I are completely paying for everything ourselves, and by everything I mean everything from the cake to the venue to the honeymoon. We originally wanted to go to Dollywood, but very quickly got a wake up call and realized we are not able to pay for even one day there. With that said, we have decided that our Honeymoon, although a lot of people may take big fancy honeymoons and take them for about a week or so, ours does not have to be. We are planning to go to CedarPoint (if your not familiar, it's an amusement park) and staying at a cheap hotel. We are probably not going to be able to afford a 5 night stay, so it looks like we will probably just take a day or two and spend the rest of the time at our new apartment. We do not have a place to live yet, and I REFUSE to live with either of our parents. So right now, our wedding is VERY DIY and VERY low key, and most of our savings is going to a place to live. 
    Anniversary
  • In Response to Re: How are you paying for your honeymoon?:
    [QUOTE]Two words...Honeymoon Registry!  We're using www.Travelersjoy.com .  It's been amazing so far and, for us, it's way better than getting a blender, set of sheets, mixing bowls, etc...
    Posted by Abca13[/QUOTE]

    RUDE. RUDE. RUDE.

    Your guests should NOT be expected to fund your sexcation, no more than OP should expect her FILs to fund hers.


    It is ALWAYS rude to ask for money... and regardless of what you call it, a "honeymoon registry" is just that; your guests are not buying you a snorkleing trip, hike, or whatever else they think they are - they're sending you a check, minus whatever fees the company takes out.

    If your guests want to give you money - which you can then put towards your HM - they'll leave it in the form of cash or a check in a card at your wedding.
  • When we first started planning we figured we would be paying for the honeymoon. We looked at how much we could afford and found a great spot that was in a good price range for us and that we could drive to, but will still be great! The honeymoon is a vacation to celebrate and spend quality time with your new spouse. It does not have to be over the top expensive!
    Anniversary
  • KarenofcourseKarenofcourse member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I want to clarify your question b/c of all the fluff here.  From what I understand, you do not have money for your wedding (you are having one but totally dependent on others to pay for) and you do not have money for a honeymoon (once again, totally dependent on others to pay for), you are bickering with your FI to ask his parents and you are f/t college students who graduate in May and getting married on month later?  My answer is you do not need to go on a honeymoon b/c you have no money (taking a loan to take a vacation is one of the worst financial mistakes you can ever make: google any financial advisor and I am sure they will back me up!)

    I understand you are in college.  You made the decision to get married right after you graduate.  Do you already have jobs lined up?  Therefore, you have to make the best of it.  What if you were to have a financial emergency such as a an unexpected illness, loss of job, car repair?   I would recommend you and your fiance have a long sit down convo or you are likely to be miserable if you expect others to consiistently pay for you.

    I don't know where you were told it is the groom's family responsibility to pay for the honeymoon.  I am pretty sure that went out with $1 gallon gas!!  Adults pay their own way!!
  • Just an idea...What about asking your parents for the loan?
    If you know your parents have the money, but you don't want them to pay for the honeymoon
    It would be better for your credit just starting out, out of school, etc if a loan wasn't on your credit report, so again, maybe a loan from your parents? with an agreed payment arangement?
  • Do NOT ask anyone to pay for your honeymoon. FI and I are both in college, and we are paying for it ourselves.The way we made this work is by scaling back our expectations. Would we have wanted to go to St. Bart's, or Fiji? Sure. But that's not realistic for us right now. We knew we didn't want to wait to have the honeymoon, because often times sh!t happens and people who get married five years ago say they're still waiting to take their honeymoon. You need that alone time with your new hubby (or wife), and you need to make it special and memorable. We're going to Disneyland, which with hotel and airfare will be about $2500. Thankfully, we received our Disney park tickets as a christmas gift this year, but that was completely unexpected. You need to make it affordable for you. Go on a hiking trip, go for a weekend at a B&B, or take a small cruise (they can be very affordable). Save a big trip for when you're graduated and celebrating an anniversary.
  • We went on a road trip to many places we've been wanting to see. It wasn't a beach ideal honeymoon, but it was fun and we could afford it. I understand why you want to go on a honeymoon right after the wedding! I did too! Even if you do go on a short one and save up for a larger trip later. 

    I'm sorry that all of these women are so rude to you on this board. You were asking for advice not a bashing. I hope everything works out for you! :)
  • My friends call me mini Susy Orman, due to the fact that I am wonderful with money. I am 29, and newley engaged to my best friend ; ). we are paying for the wedding and honeymoon ourselves. If we get "gifts" the better, but I am not expecting to be "owed". It is not anybody's debt but your own. For my wedding I will be making my favors, BM gifts, etc. Utilizing all my connections. We are having a modest wedding budget 5,000. Once you spend all that dough on your wedding the money is gone. People spend thousands and thousands on weddings, only to be divorced before the debt is paid off. Money can be used for a home, pay off college loans, grad school fund... I think it is selfish to assume others should pay for your stuff let alone your wedding or honeymoon. I graduated college a month ago, and paid for that on my own. I am a major couponer, and we save so much $$ monthly due to smart financial planning. Getting in to "tiffs" over money is not a good way to start a marriage. I said we will never fight over money, just not worth it. Find a way to save or register for honeymoon instead of at Target or BBB. Good luck.
  • OMG rude  people!! let me remember when I have a wedding question not to come here and ask unless I want rude & negative comments in return! Stop telling her to grow up when your the ones being disrespectful!

    My fiance and I are in the same position of not knowing what to do & we know his parents will not contribute.  So we have discussed options such as a cruise since they are on the cheaper side. We already have lived together for nearly 3 years so we wont be needing every household item added to our registiry...just a few upgrades so we are thinking of doing sandals, they have a registry where you guest can contribute $$ to help pay instead of buying a toaster :)  Look in it at the Grand Rivera resort....it has been the most reasonably priced one that we have found. 

    Also remember tax time is coming up! Unless your like us and already have thos funds dedicated to paying your vendors!
  • In Response to Re: How are you paying for your honeymoon?:
    [QUOTE]Honeymoon registries are exceptionally rude. Here's Miss Manners's take on it. My mom always said that, when confronted with rude brides and grooms, the best thing to do is give them engraved sterling silver that cannot be returned or easily sold on eBay.
    Posted by AFP07[/QUOTE]

    Love it!
  • I can sympathize with your situation because my fiance's parents have mentioned that they would like to help us out with the honeymoon, but I know money is tight for them.  I feel it would be rude to directly ask for money, so we will be happy if they help us out, but understanding if they can't.  Thus, we are planning on paying for our own honeymoon.  We are each saving money out of each paycheck.  In our area, you can also earn $40 per week donating plasma; this sounds kind of goofy, but if you're not afraid of needles, it's an easy way to save up a bit of extra cash.  I know lots of people who donate plasma just for the purpose of having fun money or vacation funds.

    I personally would not use a honeymoon registry, but I have recently married friends who did do this.  Since they already lived together and didn't need a many household items, this was a good alternative for them. This is an option that you could consider, but keep in mind that some guests will think it is tacky and not contribute.
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