Honeymoon donations instead of gifts?

Oct1309

So I'm a bride on a budget and my fiancé and I won't be taking a honeymoon (as of now). An opportunity has come up to take a honeymoon about a month after the wedding but we still can't afford it. Would it be wrong to ask for donations to a "honeymoon fund" instead of wedding gifts at the wedding?

Jells2dot0

Everyone should take the HM they can afford. If you can't afford one, you wait until you can. There are lots of people in this world who never get to go on vacations (which is what a HM is) and it's rude to ask people to contribute to something that is a privelege.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-4

TheBaysideBride

I disagree w/ the PPs - if you don't need china and you need some fun in the sun instead, ask for it! people who love you want to give you what will make you happy. They know you're on a budget, and what a great thing to spend money on. I'd rather give you access to beach towels than buy you hand towels....

misshart00

In Response to Re:Honeymoon donations instead of gifts?:[QUOTE]Yes it would be. If people ask, you may tell them you are saving for x, and if you decline showers and don't register you will get more cash gifts. BUT you cannot ask for cash or register for a honeymoon it is the same as asking for cash, see the sticky at the top of this forum. Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

This. If someone asks about a registry, tell them you have everything you need but are saving for a honeymoon. Don't register for a honeymoon since those services just give you a check minus the service fee.

Also, some people will never give cash, so be prepared to thank people that do give you a physical gift.

KatWAG

Why dont brides ever read previos posts before starting the 5,000th thread on this topic?

Jells2dot0

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-donations-instead-of-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:1f02356f-fc9a-49af-b114-d7d09457cb91Post:956a12b6-fa4e-4c17-a07d-feaeda3545f8">Re: Honeymoon donations instead of gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why dont brides ever read previos posts before starting the 5,000th thread on this topic?
Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

Agreed. A big pet peeve of mine.

AddieCake

It is rude to ask people for cash in any form. Also, many of those companies take a cut, and guests end up donating less than they intended. There is also a sticky on this subject at the top of the board if you would like to see both sides of the debate. 

alithebride

hey op-i dont recall anyone on here ever saying 'i dont have a budget' so you saying 'we have a budget and can't afford......' means nothing.  we all work within parameters. if you cannot then you either need to adjust budget or suck it up.

and no to answer your question.

you do know that with the HM regisries you have to plan the trip you CAN afford because you have no idea how much people will 'donate' (ugh!!) to your vacation.

my suggestion-live in your budget or wait until you can afford it.

dazyabbey

I am usually all for having Honeymoon Registries but in this situation it is not appropriate. You should always plan the wedding/honeymoon you can afford and not depend on possible money you may be receiving down the road.

If you want to have a great honeymoon and can't afford it then either put off the wedding and save more money or just go on a great anniversary trip.

brittblaz

I am doing a "honeypot". Since my FI and I already have "things", we decided that we'd rather tell those who intend to give us a gift, that we are saving for our "honeypot". My mother just made and sent out my shower invitations and in them she put a cute little insert with a nice poem stating that if a gift is the attendee's intention, then we would appreciate something for the "honeypot". It was a cutesy little poem. Nothing about "give us money so we can spend it on a vacation". I strongly believe that whether you intend it or not, people are going to give you gifts, and more importantly there are those who are going to give you what you want the most.  Everyone is going to have their own opinions on this. About whether or not it's proper "ettiquette" or not. I say that it's your day, and if you want to take a nice vacation with your FI then do it!

I personally have spent my entire relationship with my FI long distance. That's a long time of flying here and there, trying to save money by staying at each other's places during visits. So our idea of an awesome gift, is a week of relaxation some place we've never been, not having to worry about the next time we will see each other. My family and friends understand that and have been on board since day one when we decided to do the "honeypot".

KatWAG

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-donations-instead-of-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:1f02356f-fc9a-49af-b114-d7d09457cb91Post:32bd3eba-a5dd-4fdb-b4c5-b268ce6ba4b4">Re: Honeymoon donations instead of gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am doing a "honeypot". Since my FI and I already have "things", we decided that we'd rather tell those who intend to give us a gift, that we are saving for our "honeypot". <strong>My mother just made and sent out my shower invitations and in them she put a cute little insert with a nice poem stating that if a gift is the attendee's intention, then we would appreciate something for the "honeypot". It was a cutesy little poem</strong>. Nothing about "give us money so we can spend it on a vacation". I strongly believe that whether you intend it or not, people are going to give you gifts, and more importantly there are those who are going to give you what you want the most.  Everyone is going to have their own opinions on this. About whether or not it's proper "ettiquette" or not. I say that it's your day, and if you want to take a nice vacation with your FI then do it! I personally have spent my entire relationship with my FI long distance. That's a long time of flying here and there, trying to save money by staying at each other's places during visits. So our idea of an awesome gift, is a week of relaxation some place we've never been, not having to worry about the next time we will see each other. My family and friends understand that and have been on board since day one when we decided to do the "honeypot".
Posted by brittblaz[/QUOTE]

this is still incredibly tacky, even if its worded in a "cutesy" poem.