Who pays for the bridal shower

bride2012tobe

So I think the knot says that the person hosting should pay. How are you guys doing this? Do the maid of honor and bridesmaid split this? Does the mother pay? Do they all split this? Do you as a bride contribute?

theholograms

I offered to contribute, but my mom and sister shot me down. My mom, sister, and my bridesmaids are all chipping in for the shower.

Whtara10

I offered to help to but my MOH told me know. My MOH and 2 of my sisters are paying for it

Whtara10

It can be done multiple ways. I refused to let my mom pay for it because she's already paying for other things. But sometimes it's the brides mom, sisters or Bms. The MOH is usually in charge but sometimes these other people help.

Carebear62584

My mom (and dad I suppose) are paying for my shower.  My BMs and MOH are paying for my bachelorette, and FI's mom/stepdad are paying for the rehearsal dinner. 

I don't think there's much etiquette anymore on who pays for what. 

MoonlightSilver

No one should be forced to pay for anything, but as far as I know anyone who is willing to pay, can (except, maybe the bride, since you're not supposed to host your own parties). 

rswan412

Agree with PP- esp Carebear....who pays for what is shot to hell! My BM, Mother, Aunt, and FMIL and her sisters are putting in for the shower. It's low key, low-cost so they just split it a zillion ways and whatnot. But that's all I know!

cdbishop

Yea it all depends.  Etiquette is that MOH and BM's paid, because mother shouldn't be throwing the shower as it appears gift graby, but I don't believe in that.  

PeachesKFG

Agree with PPs, you can do it many ways and I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" way to do it. For me, we are doing one big shower because I have a Big family so this will be the best way to knock it all out in one shot! Technically my mom and sisters (maids of honor) are throwing it, but my FMIL has reached out to my mom to help with some of the cost, since she won't be throwing me a separate shower. My FMIL is inviting her family and friends to this shower so i think she feels that its only right for her to offer to pay for her guests. I think it's different with every family and every situation. My sister had 3 showers! Crazy, but it worked!

lfreeman24

I agree with PP there is definitely not "one way" for the bridal shower. In one wedding I was in the FMIL paid for the entire thing, another the bridesmaids paid, and the FMIL and MOB contributed significantly.

I know the MOB is not supposed to host it but I told my mom I did not want my bridesmaids having to pay for the entire thing, I don't think its fair and think it turns into a source of tension. I am pretty sure my mom is paying for venue, and food and that my bridesmaids are paying for the invitations, and  other less expensive items.

kls114

Ditto to the girls. There is no right one way or another.

My Mom paid for my shower & one of my MOH's contributed as well.

calindi

Whoever wants to host it.  If your bridesmaids offer to host a shower, then let them do it and figure out how to divide up costs.  If your Mom wants to chip in, she's welcome to do that, though I do think it's typically frowned up on for the Mom to host it on her own since it's like saying, "Give my daughter gifts!" 

My Mom is, against etiquette, leading the planning for my shower, but my aunts and grandmothers are all contributing time and a little money.  I have absolutely nothing to do with it - I know what day it is, and that's it!

HeatherR45

Whoever is hosting should pay. I don't really understand how the mom hosting is considered gift grabby. A shower IS gift grabby, the point is to shower the bride with gifts! Personally I don't think throwing the shower should be put on the BMs alone, they are already throwing the bachelorette.