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Thinking of "uninviting" someone from the wedding...how to handle?

My dad asked me the other day if his wife's mother could come to the wedding (she lives here in Omaha, dad lives in Cedar Rapids).  I immediately said that was OK even though I don't know the woman.  Now that I've had a few days to think it over, I'm having second thoughts.  My reasoning is that whenever my dad and his wife come to Omaha, I am an absolute afterthought.  They come here to visit with his wife's family, and sometimes they tell me they are in town and sometimes they don't.  My dad has met my fiance twice and has never met his two children (HIS future step-grandchildren).  So I guess I'm somewhat insulted that they would even ask me if they could bring his wife's mother because that just shows to me that my wedding isn't even a priority to them.  In fact, they can't even guarantee they will be in town in time for pictures because "they'll have to get up at 5am".  Grrr.

Sorry, went off on a tangent.  Anyway, am I stuck with stepmom's mom or is there a way to politely let my dad know that I made a mistake and I cannot acommodate her?


Re: Thinking of "uninviting" someone from the wedding...how to handle?

  • Sounds like you've got a tough situation on your hands :(. I'll start by saying I know how you feel. My divorced parents don't get along at all so family politics is a problem. We ultimately decided to pseudo-elope but that's another story. My dad remarried and I always felt like he was forcing me to get along with my new step-mom and her family and stuff. Well anyway...I had a long talk with my dad about it because I knew unless I told him how hurt I was we weren't going anywhere. He understood but ask that I meet my step-mom's mom sometime anyway, so out of respect for him I did. Turns out she's one of the nicest and wisest ladies I now know! She was appalled that my step-mom was threatening not to come to my wedding if my mother showed up so she wanted to show her support! I can't say how anything will turn out, but I suggest you talk to your dad first. Maybe ask why he wanted you to invite her in the first place? Ultimately it still is up to you and you CAN always politely say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake and cannot accommodate her." As long as your heart is in the right place everything will work out :)
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